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Thread: Was dating the most wonderful woman and then...

  1. #1
    Gold Member Nebraskagirl14's Avatar
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    Was dating the most wonderful woman and then...

    Hi, all-

    I met and was dating the most wonderful woman. We were totally in alignment, into each other, fully honest and loving, kind, passionate, romantic. And then she told her ex/friend about me and the friend lost it. Came to her house with flowers, crying, I want another chance with you. She told me without hesitation that she didnít want that other person, they werenít right together because I asked how they were able to go from dating to being friends and she said because they were not at all right for each other. The one I was dating went to her exís house yesterday to tell her she could only be her friend but the woman kept messaging and crying and she told me she clearly wanted to be with me. Then today, I get a text saying she is confused and then a phone call saying she is going back to the ex. To say Iím confused and heartbroken is an understatement. We had just slept together for the first time two days ago and things had been magical. Then today, done. I have never been through something like this before where we were so seemingly right for each other and she took off for someone she said isnít her person just yesterday.... Iím just... sad!!!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry this happened to you. It really is a kick in the pants. :(

    Had either of you spoke about how long you had been single before you met? Were her and the ex broken up long? Typically, it's never a good idea to get involved with someone who has had a recent break up. Sometimes even a few months down the road to, they aren't over the ex.
    It still doesn't help now that you've been treated this way.

    I'm sorry you had to get caught up in their unfinished business. It's not fair.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Nebraskagirl14's Avatar
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    Was dating the most wonderful woman and then...

    Thank you for your reply :-) I had been single for a couple of years. She had been single for 4 months, but they were friends because she didnít have those feelings for her. She just told me yesterday that she doesnít have those feelings for her... this one came back in a panic and promised if they got back together, she would be different...

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Hmmm, well I will tell you what, if she didn't have feelings for her, she would have ignored the messaged, blocked and kept on dating you.
    She definitely has feelings.

    If someone tells you they've only been broken up less than 6 months, I would take that as a red flag. Mainly because a lot of times they still have unresolved issues with the ex.
    Not always, obviously, but many times things aren't actually over.

    It's a shame she wasn't honest with you and herself before she started dating again.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Nebraskagirl14's Avatar
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    Yes, perhaps. She was clear that they werenít right for each other though. She said she cares about her very much, but that she never fulfilled her and they had nothing in common.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Yes, perhaps. She was clear that they werenít right for each other though. She said she cares about her very much, but that she never fulfilled her and they had nothing in common.
    Well then, there's a few possibilities of why she is going back to her. Maybe she feels guilty, maybe she feels sorry for this girl, or maybe she does still harbor feelings for her.

    But I think the bottom line is, this girl still has pull over her in some way and the one you were dating, has issues either in herself or with this girl.
    But it is a complicated situation and if you were to remain in her life at all, you stand a good chance of being hurt again.

    She walked away from you and back to this girl. Don't let someone treat you that way, ever. Their confusion is not an excuse to hurt you or cause you pain.

  8. #7
    Gold Member Nebraskagirl14's Avatar
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    Yes, thank you. She does feel guilty and she cares about her. But the woman pulled out all the stops to get her back... so, no, I will not be in her life at all. I will not reach out to her. I will walk away and heal from this incredibly unexpected blow...

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I am so sorry this happened to you. It is god awful when people use other people to get over their ex.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Nebraskagirl14's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I am so sorry this happened to you. It is god awful when people use other people to get over their ex.
    Thank you... I actually feel though that she was over her. They were both single and could have gotten back together. This one had no desire from her perspective because they just didnít work.

  11. #10
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nebraskagirl14
    Thank you... I actually feel though that she was over her. They were both single and could have gotten back together. This one had no desire from her perspective because they just didnít work.
    But if she ran back to her obviously thereís something that drew her back. So she was still attached to her in someway. Either way itís awful what happened to you.

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