Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 28

Thread: I love my relationship, and canít stand his daughter

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    1

    I love my relationship, and canít stand his daughter

    Iíve been here with him for three years now and have tried to be a part of this when she comes which is every week for three days.

    He had his kid late in life and now Co parents her because the marriage failed. Sheís 7, bratty and entitled. Cries and throws literal screaming tantrums when she doesnít get her way. Raises her voice, canít be appreciative and doesnít even know how to say please and thank you. Itís not getting better as she gets older. Itís getting worse.

    He isnít strict with her, and she has no responsibility or consequences to her behavior and when she does, ďI want to go to mamas houseĒ, and her wish is everyoneís command.

    I raised four BOYS as a single parent and they are adults now. They never acted this way!

    He gets it, he says he understands that Iíve raised my kids and donít want that life again. We talked about this before I even moved in. And is willing to let me ďdo my thingĒ when sheís there.

    I honestly just want to have my own place to go when she comes over and have nothing to do with the situation at all. But even after our discussions of me not wanting to be involved I feel like heís still trying to keep me involved.. wanting me to do things together with them, be around when sheís there, he always tells me when she brings my name into conversation as to remind me how he would love if we were al together...

    I donít want that. I recently tried to have this conversation that Iíd just like to keep myself removed when she is there... and he said things are better when I donít do that.

    Well they arenít better for me! I donít want kids in my life. At all. Ever again.

    The four days she isnít there, we are best friends, get along wonderfully and have an amazing relationship with so much in common. I can emotionally remove myself from this each week to give them their father daughter space and take time to myself, that I actually enjoy, but I donít know how to continue to have this conversation, when he isnít listening to me and respect how I feel about being involved with this little mess of a daughter of his and his Xís.

    I didnít create this little monster and donít feel I should spend my time dealing with the consequences of her.

    I do not want to be there and have even been looking for my own place but feel that will probably end the relationship.

    Iím not sure what the answer is here. I donít know if there is one. I just know how I feel, I do not feel good about my feelings about this either... but it IS how I feel and I have to honor that in myself first

    Anyway, any feedback would be wonderful. I appreciate the time that anyone takes to read and reply

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,617
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. Yes, move out. This is his daughter and she will be there a lot and in his life the rest of his life.

    This way "the four days she isnít there, we are best friends, get along wonderfully and have an amazing relationship", will be when you visit, not where you are living. Rather than hate a child, realize that actually he's the real problem and you two are extremely incompatible.
    Originally Posted by Tsmart
    I do not want to be there and have even been looking for my own place but feel that will probably end the relationship.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    4,562
    He seems dismissive towards you. I agree with you on moving out and having your own space. Can I ask what prompted you to move in with him?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Sydney Australia
    Posts
    3,139
    Gender
    Female
    Im afraid he comes as a package deal with his Daughter.
    If you didnt want to raise children again you should have looked for someone who had older children.
    I honestly dont see any solution to this, other than you leaving. You knew he had his Daughter every week & you still moved in.
    He will never pick you over her, so you either live with it & do family things or you leave.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    17,208
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Tsmart

    I didnít create this little monster and donít feel I should spend my time dealing with the consequences of her.
    After reading the above statement I wouldn't want you around my child, or any other child for that matter. I'm not sure why you even got involved with this guy while knowing he has a child, AKA a human being.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    52,372
    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    After reading the above statement I wouldn't want you around my child, or any other child for that matter. I'm not sure why you even got involved with this guy while knowing he has a child, AKA a human being.
    Totally agree. How fortunate for you that your kids never ever said anything disrespectful or acted in a bratty way. This little girl is having a hard time and has a tough situation with her parents divorced and her dad living with a woman who cannot stand her (yes, she knows). She deserves someone who wants to be part of her life.

  8. #7
    Ugh Iíve been there before. Definitely move out, he will continue to be dismissive and you will forever feel undermined and disappointed.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,802
    Gender
    Female
    I agree you should move out. You should never have moved in but you know that now. His kid will always come before you in his life, and she should. If you cant figure out how to at least get along with the kid, then go get your own apt. or if you dont want to ditch him completely, get a hotel room for 3 days a week. However that will get expensive.

    Yes the kid knows full well how you feel about her.

  10. #9
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    54
    Posts
    38,219
    Gender
    Female
    If you despise his CHILD this is not the relationship for you. Period. Find someone with no kids or grandchildren.

  11. #10
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    54
    Posts
    38,219
    Gender
    Female
    Hopefully your own kids donít have kids if you canít tolerate kids , ever. Imagine grandma despising you. 😓

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •