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Thread: Ex says he's suing me for Defamation of Character.

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Who insinuated this hearsay that he's suing you? Have you received court papers or a letter from an attorney?

    There's are better ways to make or save money during covid.

    You need to seriously question the source of this gossip/hearsay.

    It sounds like whoever insinuated this is making it up to amuse themselves with thier own Judge Judy drama.

    Unfortunately it seems like you are still in some strange power struggle with this guy . Or you've make some unknown enemies along the way.
    This is how I found out, now that I have time to go back and copy/paste it.

    "My ex is active in the local Pagan/Occult community also. My area hosts one of the largest Pagan Pride festivals in the country, and there is a Pagan group around here that is really influential with that Festival. That group also has a private Facebook group. A lot of the vendors and performers at the Pride festival are in the Facebook group. And I am friends with the lady in charge of it all. Well, because of some shady behavior my ex was engaging in in the Facebook group, he was banned. I knew nothing about any of this because I don't keep tabs on him and I have him blocked everywhere. Well, this past Saturday I was actually at this lady's shop that she owns (This is the lady in charge of the Facebook group, etc) And she told me that my ex is pissed off that he's banned from the group so he messaged her and said that if she banned him because of anything I've been saying about him it's all lies. And then he went on to talk about this lawsuit that's in the works, etc. I guess she told him he has no case because everyone hated him before I even was in the picture, etc. And she also told him "She didn't get you banned from anything. You got yourself banned."

    So, that's how I found out. I consider her a reliable source. I'm a vendor at the Pride Festival and so we are friends but she's also a business associate."

    ^ Taken from an earlier reply.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    So he said nothing about suing you about defamation. He's annoyed at her/the group that he got banned. This has nothing to do with you. This is between him and the group owner who banned him. Stop listening to gossip and hearsay from this lady. Yep, she's stirring up her own Judge Judy drama. Ignore her.
    Originally Posted by Cynder
    I was actually at this lady's shop that she owns (This is the lady in charge of the Facebook group, etc) And she told me that my ex is pissed off that he's banned from the group so he messaged her and said that if she banned him because of anything I've been saying about him it's all lies. And then he went on to talk about this lawsuit that's in the works, etc.

  3. #23
    Forum Supporter Fudgie's Avatar
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    I wouldn't worry about it. If what you said is accurate, it's hearsay. Gossiping like that doesn't equal defamation of character. You need a lot to win such suits and he doesn't have it. He's just angry. Pay no mind but definitely don't talk to anyone about him going forward.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    So he said nothing about suing you about defamation. He's annoyed at her/the group that he got banned. This has nothing to do with you. This is between him and the group owner who banned him. Stop listening to gossip and hearsay from this lady. Yep, she's stirring up her own Judge Judy drama. Ignore her.
    Actually he did tell her he's planning to sue me for defamation. He assumed he was kicked out of the group because of something I said. And he went on to tell her that I've been lying about him and that he's planning on suing me. That is how she found out and she told me about it. I've known this woman for years. Shes not the type to stir up drama. She has nothing to gain by stirring up drama either. Whether he is actually planning a lawsuit or not though, I'm glad I have a heads up just in case.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Cynder
    A lot of millennials live with their parents into adulthood. And his Mom also has a lot of health problems that he was helping her out with. Like I said in my original post, he's a business owner with multiple college degrees. He clearly had other ambitions/successes in life. I don't really see why that question is even reverent.

    I haven't talked about him in a long time. The conversations I had with other people happened shortly after we broke up and that was a year ago. It says that in my original post as well.

    Thanks for your reply.
    How long has he lived with her? How old is he?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 10-27-2020 at 01:32 PM.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member browneyedgirl36's Avatar
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    It sounds like he got quite "triggered" (for lack of a better word) by getting kicked out of a Facebook group (which definitely says a lot about his maturity level right there), and that's pretty much the impetus for this whole thing. He's being ridiculous, and any lawyer worth anything wouldn't entertain his nonsense for even one second, let alone represent him in suing you.

    You've got nothing to worry about. While I have no doubt he DID say he was planning to sue you, I doubt he'll do it, and even if he tries, he has little to no chance of success.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by browneyedgirl36
    I typed out a HUGE response and then deleted it by mistake, but in essence, I was saying what a lot of people have said here: He's going to have a heck of a time proving defamation. First of all, he has to prove you actually did substantive damage (generally in the form of financial damage or damage to his reputation that harms him in some other significant way.) AND, he has to prove that you were lying about him. Simply talking to others about behavior that they also witnessed is NOT defamation; there's a big difference between saying, "Remember that time George got really mad at that festival and started screaming and cussing at everyone?" (recounting behavior that you and others actually witnessed) and saying "George is a psychopath. He belongs in an institution -- forever. He is a danger to others and to himself and is likely to kill someone." (diagnosing him with a mental illness when you're not qualified to do so AND speculating about his potential to commit murder.)

    One of my exes claimed he was going to sue his ex before me for defamation because she had "talked crap" about him in their community. Likely, what she'd really done was simply have conversations about some of the weird/awful stuff he said and did to her, stuff that was probably entirely true, and it got back to him. And, he wasn't all that important in his community or anything -- it wasn't like he was a local celebrity (or even a local businessman) who stood to lose money because of anything his ex-wife said about him. I told him all of this (while secretly giggling to myself inwardly at his arrogance). He never ended up pursuing anything, as I knew he wouldn't. I've no doubt that he went to a lawyer who advised him he didn't have a legal leg to stand on.

    I don't think you have anything to worry about, but it might make you feel better to seek some legal advice, if you feel inclined to. I too think your ex is just blowing smoke, though. He's probably hit a rough patch in his life and is lashing out. Things haven't turned out the way he hoped, and you've moved on, and he hates that.
    "Remember that time he did this at that one festival, etc..." is exactly the kinds of things that were said. I was actually really surprised how many people I know from the scene that contacted me to talk about what a jerk he is. No one ever says this stuff to his face, so I really was starting to wonder if I was just crazy. Like, everyone else just accepts him the way he is, am I the only one that has a problem with the way he acts? One of his former employees even talked to me after I broke up with him. He can't keep help to save his life. He has a huge turnover rate. I have 5 employees and no one has ever quit on me because I treat my staff well and pay them well. He pays dirt and treats them like dirt.

    Looking back, the only thing I said that might be taken as a lie was I called him Narcissistic. He is very narcissistic, but I am not a psychologist who can actually diagnose him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Still though, saying someone is narcissistic isn't really making a diagnosis in my opinion. It's just saying they act like a narcissist.

    And this isn't even the first time an ex has threatened to sue me. I dated someone from age 17 to age 23. This was my first serious relationship. He bought a 30k car that he couldn't afford to make the payments on. He drove it around for 6 months and didn't pay anything. It was repossessed and sold at auction for about 9k. He was responsible for the other 21k. During the time all this was going on was when we broke up. So he just got it in his head that he was going to sue me for the 21k. He supposedly met with a lawyer and everything. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during that meeting. I had nothing to do with him buying the car. I didn't live with him when he bought it. There was absolutely nothing tying me to the expense at all. He ended up filing bankruptcy. This ruined his credit and his Grandma's credit since he talked her into cosigning for it. He originally wanted me to cosign but I told him no. Years later he still blamed me for this. I know because my aunt is really good friends with his Mom.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by browneyedgirl36
    It sounds like he got quite "triggered" (for lack of a better word) by getting kicked out of a Facebook group (which definitely says a lot about his maturity level right there), and that's pretty much the impetus for this whole thing. He's being ridiculous, and any lawyer worth anything wouldn't entertain his nonsense for even one second, let alone represent him in suing you.

    You've got nothing to worry about. While I have no doubt he DID say he was planning to sue you, I doubt he'll do it, and even if he tries, he has little to no chance of success.
    Yep. And from what I was told he was kicked out for basically spamming. He was doing several live streams a day trying to sell stuff and he would live stream in the group. He also was creeping on a few women who complained about him. He got himself banned.

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