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Thread: Ex says he's suing me for Defamation of Character.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    TRUTH is a legitimate defense for a defamation suit.

    If you have evidence to support what you may have said, give it to your lawyer.

    If he is an idiot, he will pursue the suit--airing his character before he loses.

    Then you sue for court costs.

    Well, might be a matter of opinion but he's an idiot in my (and a lot of other people's) opinion. If he does pursue a lawsuit he will make himself look like more of an ass than anyone else. I have a really good reputation in the scene. The only bad thing people associate with me is him.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think he's just shooting his miserable mouth off. Sounds like the ranting of an angry man. Do NOT discuss him with anyone, ever! I honestly doubt he will do anything to you or about you, he's just spouting off.

  3. #13
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cynder
    This gave me a really funny visual in my head lol. I actually have no sense of smell from birth so I never noticed but after I broke up with him one of my friends told me he smells like patchouli and farts. Idk... i read blowing smoke and that's the first hing I thought of and then got this picture in my head of a big cloud of smoke coming out his ass when he bends over. Idk, my mind is weird.
    Hahahaa I mean he is pulling your chain because you are happy.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member browneyedgirl36's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cynder
    My ex is active in the local Pagan/Occult community also. My area hosts one of the largest Pagan Pride festivals in the country, and there is a Pagan group around here that is really influential with that Festival. That group also has a private Facebook group. A lot of the vendors and performers at the Pride festival are in the Facebook group. And I am friends with the lady in charge of it all. Well, because of some shady behavior my ex was engaging in in the Facebook group, he was banned. I knew nothing about any of this because I don't keep tabs on him and I have him blocked everywhere. Well, this past Saturday I was actually at this lady's shop that she owns (This is the lady in charge of the Facebook group, etc) And she told me that my ex is pissed off that he's banned from the group so he messaged her and said that if she banned him because of anything I've been saying about him it's all lies. And then he went on to talk about this lawsuit that's in the works, etc. I guess she told him he has no case because everyone hated him before I even was in the picture, etc. And she also told him "She didn't get you banned from anything. You got yourself banned."

    So, that's how I found out. I consider her a reliable source. I'm a vendor at the Pride Festival and so we are friends but she's also a business associate.

    Yes, I never said anything that isn't true. And a lot of the things talked about with other vendors were things that other people witnessed. There were a lot of other vendors who heard him repeatedly verbally abusing his staff and verbally abusing me at events on a regular basis. People have seen him throw his little tantrums at events, etc. He's actually gotten himself kicked out of a few shows and banned. And some of the show organizers who banned him made it a point to contact me just to tell me I'm not banned. Like, "Yea we don't want him here but you can still come and sell, etc." So yea, truth is my defense. I'm not a liar. And I still think proving that any drop in sales was strictly my fault and nothing to do with the pandemic would be really hard for him or even a lawyer to do.
    I typed out a HUGE response and then deleted it by mistake, but in essence, I was saying what a lot of people have said here: He's going to have a heck of a time proving defamation. First of all, he has to prove you actually did substantive damage (generally in the form of financial damage or damage to his reputation that harms him in some other significant way.) AND, he has to prove that you were lying about him. Simply talking to others about behavior that they also witnessed is NOT defamation; there's a big difference between saying, "Remember that time George got really mad at that festival and started screaming and cussing at everyone?" (recounting behavior that you and others actually witnessed) and saying "George is a psychopath. He belongs in an institution -- forever. He is a danger to others and to himself and is likely to kill someone." (diagnosing him with a mental illness when you're not qualified to do so AND speculating about his potential to commit murder.)

    One of my exes claimed he was going to sue his ex before me for defamation because she had "talked crap" about him in their community. Likely, what she'd really done was simply have conversations about some of the weird/awful stuff he said and did to her, stuff that was probably entirely true, and it got back to him. And, he wasn't all that important in his community or anything -- it wasn't like he was a local celebrity (or even a local businessman) who stood to lose money because of anything his ex-wife said about him. I told him all of this (while secretly giggling to myself inwardly at his arrogance). He never ended up pursuing anything, as I knew he wouldn't. I've no doubt that he went to a lawyer who advised him he didn't have a legal leg to stand on.

    I don't think you have anything to worry about, but it might make you feel better to seek some legal advice, if you feel inclined to. I too think your ex is just blowing smoke, though. He's probably hit a rough patch in his life and is lashing out. Things haven't turned out the way he hoped, and you've moved on, and he hates that.

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  6. #15
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    You have a right to your opinion, he cannot sue you over that. If you lied about anything, then that is another story.

    Why were you dating a guy who was living with their mother? How old is he?

    Stop talking about him.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    You have a right to your opinion, he cannot sue you over that. If you lied about anything, then that is another story.

    Why were you dating a guy who was living with their mother? How old is he?

    Stop talking about him.

    A lot of millennials live with their parents into adulthood. And his Mom also has a lot of health problems that he was helping her out with. Like I said in my original post, he's a business owner with multiple college degrees. He clearly had other ambitions/successes in life. I don't really see why that question is even reverent.

    I haven't talked about him in a long time. The conversations I had with other people happened shortly after we broke up and that was a year ago. It says that in my original post as well.

    Thanks for your reply.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Who insinuated this? It's best to stop talking about him, no matter how much you can't stand him. It doesn't matter if he's the biggest Bozo on the planet. Anyone can sue for whatever they want, whether it has merit or not.

    The point is, it's not a matter of whether this hearsay about suing has merit or not. Just being sued in itself is an expensive headache. Stop talking about him. Lesson learned.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cynder
    Do you guys think I have anything to worry about?
    I doubt you have anything to worry about. First of all, he hasn't actually done anything but run his mouth which takes zero skill or effort. Secondly, suing is a pain in the ass if you don't do it every day. There's a whole process you have to go through. But most importantly, if he actually does file suit, he'll have to prove financial damage as a direct result of your actions.

    If you're really worried about this, do some research into your local court system. Familiarize yourself with the process for civil claims. Lawyers may not even be necessary. And--most likely--a lawyer won't even touch the case on either side. It's usually not worth their time, as the max payout is usually capped quite low ($5k in my vicinage).

    I sued my gym last year for $1300. The first thing I tried to do was get a lawyer. But it didn't make financial sense for either of us. He would have taken a big cut of my winnings, and that cut was barely even worth his travel time. So, I proceeded without a lawyer.

    My gym did get a lawyer, and they proceeded to d*ck me around for six months, I guess in an effort to confuse me or get me to give up. But it didn't work, and after a drawn out and enlightening foray into the legal system, I got my $$. Just took patience and tenacity.

    I went to court a couple times as part of that experience and watched due process in action. The court system sees frivolous lawsuits all day, every day, and it's kind of fun to watch the judge make mincemeat out of plaintiffs who bring those cases to court. I definitely suggest going to court one morning to watch the trials.

    If you do end up getting sued, there is usually an ombudsman or community liaison that you can contact. He or she can't give you legal advice, but they can give you facts about the process that will help you along the way.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Who insinuated this? It's best to stop talking about him, no matter how much you can't stand him. It doesn't matter if he's the biggest Bozo on the planet. Anyone can sue for whatever they want, whether it has merit or not.

    The point is, it's not a matter of whether this hearsay about suing has merit or not. Just being sued in itself is an expensive headache. Stop talking about him. Lesson learned.
    I stopped talking about him months ago. All these conversation took place around November/December of 2019 right after I broke up with him. I think hes just financially strapped because of the pandemic and needs someone to blame. I also wonder if he found out I'm with someone new and that's what brought this on.

    How I found out is explained in another reply I wrote. Right now I don't have time to go back and find it. Also I'm on my phone so sorry if this is sloppy.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Who insinuated this hearsay that he's suing you? Have you received court papers or a letter from an attorney?

    There's are better ways to make or save money during covid.

    You need to seriously question the source of this gossip/hearsay.

    It sounds like whoever insinuated this is making it up to amuse themselves with thier own Judge Judy drama.

    Unfortunately it seems like you are still in some strange power struggle with this guy . Or you've make some unknown enemies along the way.

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