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Thread: First good date in awhile

  1. #1
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
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    First good date in awhile

    After a few weeks into the dreaded online dating world I actually had a date who didnít ghost day of, which was refreshing. Also, I think she looked better in person so I was pleasantly surprised.

    We met up and had a couple drinks and talked and laughed and did karaoke for almost 6 hours. Time really flew by and we seemed to get along really well. I walked her to her car at the end of the night and we hugged and I went for the kiss, maybe shouldnít have. She give a really quick peck but felt like it was mostly me. Got in her car and left but seemed to be smiling and happy. Mustíve read that all wrong.

    I asked her to let me know when she arrived home and she did. Told her I had so much fun and that Iíd love to see her again. She thanked me for a fun evening and said for sure we should do it again sometime soon. Part of me wanted to let her reach out after that, but seemed disingenuous and if I liked her and wanted to go out again I shouldnít wait or play games. The following afternoon I reached out and asked her if she was free Tuesday night (which was my next convenient day) and waiting for what felt like forever! It was only an hour or so and she replied and we exchanged the hows your Sunday, etc, then she actually said Tuesday should work for her and we set up a second date.

    Super excited, still early on so Iím not surprised to not get many texts in between dates. I just wanted to post and maybe have someone tell me itís all good because itís been a good while since Iíve met someone and been really smitten. Seconds dates seem harder because now youíre truly getting to know more about the person so seems like more is at stake.

    Surely, if she agrees to second date then she must have some level of interest despite not being very receptive to a goodnight kiss, perhaps she wasnít ready for that which I understand. Really just wanted to share and would love any advice.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You're doing fine. Don't push the kisses. Let her come to you next time. Relax.. there's nothing to it about second dates or dating in general. Be yourself and keep things positive.

  3. #3
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    I would tone down the super excited - it sounds like a good first meet and now she's agreed to an official first date! Have fun on the date and treat it as a one time thing - because it is unless there's a plan for a second date. She is interested in going on a date with you because she said yes. So my advice is one date at a time with this new person. Enjoy!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Sounds great and like she does like you.

    That said....chill out. Most women don't like to kiss, etc. on a first meet and greet and especially now there is a pandemic. Also, there is nothing special or serious about a second date. Focus on keeping it light and fun. It takes time to get to know someone, not just a few dates, so ease off that gas pedal. Don't try to jump from one good date to instant relationship. Rather take it one date at a time early on and have fun without creating pressure on yourself for more too fast.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Nice to hear some good news on the forum! I am happy for you.

    I agree you need to temper your excitement which I understand is not easy but you need to try. Good on you for not playing waiting games and you were straight forward and asked her for another date.

    From now on you should never lean in for a kiss on the first date which technically is a first meet unless she initiates. On your second date you will need to look for signs she is okay with it so don't assume anything. Respect her boundaries and like was mentioned above there is a pandemic after all.

    Second dates are only as tough as you or she makes them. If you both have a lot to share and get to know each other then it should go perfectly fine but if the conversation is forced and awkward it is not good. Be prepared to ask about her, her life, siblings, how long she has lived in the area and stuff like that and please be sure to LISTEN! Don't just wait for your turn to talk and listen carefully to what she says.

    Remember you are trying to get to know who she really is so you can decide if you want to see her again.

    It is hard to not want to rush things especially when there are so many fakes, flakes and deceivers on OLD and when you meet someone real and nice you want to hold on and not lose them but relax, be the best version of yourself and if she is into you it will work out.

    Make sure you come back and let us know how the next date goes.

    Good luck
    Lost

  7. #6
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
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    Yeah I agree with everyone about the kiss and itís probably my one regret from that night. But another date another chance, Iíll try to just read and follow her lead.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It should be fun.. keep it fun and lighthearted. If she doesn't like you there are others. Your self-worth doesn't depend on her.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Sounds great and like she does like you.

    That said....chill out. Most women don't like to kiss, etc. on a first meet and greet .
    I would say that's true for most. I know I don't consider a meet 'n greet a date.

    It's an opportunity to see if there is a potential for a further legitimate date. You see each other again because there is equal interest having been built on a meeting that went well and chemistry, if any was built on that.
    Think of test driving a car. You went to dealership because you were interested. Ultimately you realize it's a reallly nice car but not the car for you. Getting caught up in the moment you make an offer and then return home to second guess the message you might have given.

    Even if I feel like I might want a kiss I 6do appreciate it if a guy doesn't try to go in for one.
    I know we talk about not playing games, but there is no doubt that courting still matters. The anticipation of things to come builds on that interest and builds tension.

    Slow your roll. Have fun. I say at this moment, refrain texting her today.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
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    Good to see some familiar faces here still!

    Of course, I was going to confirm the date tomorrow and thatís it, no need to text today or until then.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Coldarmy13
    Good to see some familiar faces here still!

    Of course, I was going to confirm the date tomorrow and thatís it, no need to text today or until then.
    I'd text as little as possible. This is a person you met once and you have your first real date tomorrow, right?

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