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Thread: First good date in awhile

  1. #41
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Think of it this way - if you can think of not seeing each other for a full week (or longer) does it feel like you're thrown/put out/upset/can't think straight? If you find it hard to function not seeing each other or spending every single date spending the night with each other, chances are you are both moving a little fast and the relationship might fizzle out as soon as one or both of you realize you're not spending enough time on your own hobbies or pursuing your own interests.

    Dating exclusively to me means I'm seriously interested in someone and would like to get to know more about that person. It becomes more about the individual person I'm seeing and less about sex or companionship.

    Do you feel that way about her? And how would she feel if the routine changed up or if you both had more time to work on your own pursuits?

  2. #42
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Think of it this way - if you can think of not seeing each other for a full week (or longer) does it feel like you're thrown/put out/upset/can't think straight? If you find it hard to function not seeing each other or spending every single date spending the night with each other, chances are you are both moving a little fast and the relationship might fizzle out as soon as one or both of you realize you're not spending enough time on your own hobbies or pursuing your own interests.

    Dating exclusively to me means I'm seriously interested in someone and would like to get to know more about that person. It becomes more about the individual person I'm seeing and less about sex or companionship.

    Do you feel that way about her? And how would she feel if the routine changed up or if you both had more time to work on your own pursuits?
    I’m not sure how to answer a couple of these.

    I feel like perhaps I should ask her because:

    -Sexually active.

    -I see some actual potential for more down the line.

    -Feeling if she was seeing other or dating others, it would upset me. Even though she’s well within her right to do so.

    -I’d like to see where she’s at and see if we’re on the same or similar pages.

    As far as how she’d feel if the “routine” changed or altered, I honestly couldn’t say. We have a great date or night, say so once the other gets home or leaves the next afternoon, then a day or two later I propose the day for the next date. Which, so far, she’s always agreed to.

    I’d really love to keep learning more and more about her, which I could just stay the course and hope for the best. Part of me that thinks of “plant a seed and let it grow” type thinking. Not digging it up to check on it sort of thinking. The other part of me knows how I feel and how interested I am, and wouldn’t want to wait too long or maybe give off an incorrect impression of what I’m looking for.

  3. #43
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    You already planted many of your seeds in her lol. I don't get this kind of categorizing -so you are open to sharing bodily fluids, risking pregnancy and STDs but not having a simple one sentence exchange about what your intentions are towards each other? Please don't get hung up on analysis and impressions -at this very moment you are having casual sex with someone you met recently but you also are developing strong feelings for her and want to be exclusive. So have a direct convo - no long back story or apologies "what are you intentions about us"" or I'd like us to be exclusive because I see us getting more serious and I'm uncomfortable with us dating others or trying to date others".
    On the sexual health front have a direct conversation when you're both dressed and sober about what would happen if there were an unplanned pregnancy.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Coldarmy13
    -I’d like to see where she’s at and see if we’re on the same or similar pages.
    ....
    The other part of me knows how I feel and how interested I am, and wouldn’t want to wait too long or maybe give off an incorrect impression of what I’m looking for.
    If you are interested that should answer all your questions. Why the hesitation? Both of you have already shared a lot of time together.

    I think it's a good way for you to tell her how you feel. Also, not everyone might have an answer right away or agree to be mutually exclusive right then. She may want to think about it. If that's the case, you can decide from there what to do. From the sounds of it she's just as interested in you as you are in her.

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  6. #45
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
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    She said she was a one at a time sort of gal, so that’s a yes!

  7. #46
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    Originally Posted by Coldarmy13
    She said she was a one at a time sort of gal, so that’s a yes!
    Well yes that speaks to sexual monogamy and is kind of vague too - did you two agree on monogamy or you just interpreted her comment? Again if you're willing to risk pregnancy and STDs and you also have feelings for your sexual partner why in the world would you be content with vague comments?

  8. #47
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
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    First good date in awhile

    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Well yes that speaks to sexual monogamy and is kind of vague too - did you two agree on monogamy or you just interpreted her comment? Again if you're willing to risk pregnancy and STDs and you also have feelings for your sexual partner why in the world would you be content with vague comments?
    No, I was clear on the details that was just her initial response. I asked how she felt about us dating exclusively. That I didn’t have any real interest wanting to see anyone else and was at a point to where if she was it would be okay, but would bother me enough to where I’d rather not. She smiled and agreed to it.

  9. #48
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Happy for you !

  10. #49
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    Originally Posted by Coldarmy13
    No, I was clear on the details that was just her initial response. I asked how she felt about us dating exclusively. That I didn’t have any real interest wanting to see anyone else and was at a point to where if she was it would be okay, but would bother me enough to where I’d rather not. She smiled and agreed to it.
    Good news! Glad you two are on the same page!

  11. 11-20-2020, 09:24 AM

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