Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 49

Thread: First good date in awhile

  1. #21
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    712
    Gender
    Male
    Me: G’morning gorgeous, what time-ish is the party?

    Her:good morning, I think everyone’s coming about 8

    Me: okay, byob?

    Her: yes, we will have shots and snacks

    Me: okay great, looking forward to seeing you again

    Her: it’s going to be an interesting evening


    That last line struck me a little funny.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    52,355
    I wouldn't read into it -it's a text. Enjoy!

  3. #23
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    712
    Gender
    Male
    So the Halloween party went about as great as it possibly could. Had a ton of fun and ended up staying the night, this time sleeping together that night and the following morning. She made me breakfast and I left a little after noon.

    I was feeling really comfortable so o went ahead and invited her to my house for dinner and a movie we talked about at the party for Monday night. Really soon but to my surprise she accepted. She came to my place for the first time and it was another nice evening with food and a movie and some cuddling in bed and we slept together again before she left a little before midnight. Again, got to know a little more about each other and enjoy each other’s company.

    Yet still, virtually no messaging or even much contact all day today, and if I don’t initiate I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t hear much of anything until I ask her out again. Sure, she’s probably just not much of a texter or she’s busy or just isn’t the type to need to hear much in between dates. Either way I am in a bit of a slow period in my life right now and probably don’t have enough on my plate to keep me busy, therefore would like to hear more from her in between. I shouldn’t need or want it but I do probably because of too much time on my hands.

    Am I wrong to gauge her interest on that? Maybe ask her out for a night this weekend in a couple of days and see what she says.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,757
    Constant contact fizzles things too quickly. A real relationship develops with spending quality time together...not by staring at a screen. I hate texting with a passion. Never gauge interest based on the constant need for instant gratification from constant empty validation. You can make a million followers and FB friends, but doesn't mean they are friends. Learn to be bored. It will get your creative juices flowing

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,324
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    Constant contact fizzles things too quickly. A real relationship develops with spending quality time together...not by staring at a screen. I hate texting with a passion. Never gauge interest based on the constant need for instant gratification from constant empty validation. You can make a million followers and FB friends, but doesn't mean they are friends. Learn to be bored. It will get your creative juices flowing
    This^^
    To answer your question. Yes, do not guage her interest based on electronic exchanges.

    It's real time that matters here and your dates sound amazing.

    If at some point you feel you need more (reasonably) you can ask. Just not now.

    In the meantime live in moment, don't focus on the time in between.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    4,551
    Enjoy the slow period! Getting to know someone is exciting and fun... keep it lighthearted and enjoy the in-person time together. Consider the alternative - is it appealing to get to know about someone's life and all the details of their morning routine and evening routine way before you've had a chance to share those moments in real time?

    I've had my fair share of relationships. I can tell you it's a lot more rewarding seeing someone smile or hearing a lull in a story or conversation, sitting with someone and sharing a meal and picking up subtle clues about the person in person than it is having all that information fed to me in a text format.

    Enjoy getting to know each other. Find hobbies to take up or join a few online meet ups or interest groups. It's healthy to have time spent away thinking about the person you're seeing. I think you're doing great.

  8. #27
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    712
    Gender
    Male
    Thank you for the replies, they were refreshing to read this morning!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,518
    Would you rather stare at words on a tiny screen or have fun, quality dates?

  10. #29
    Gold Member Coldarmy13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    712
    Gender
    Male
    So this was a few days ago, Wednesday afternoon.

    M: G’afternoon pretty lady :) have any plans Saturday night?

    H: good afternoon :) no plans Saturday yet but my friend is having a bonfire Friday if you’re interested

    M: yeah I probably would be. I’m working until 8 Friday and Saturday though so I wouldn’t be able to meet up until 930ish depending on where it is. If you want to make Saturday plans that is.

    H: Saturday sounds good. We’ll figure something out

    M: what time is this bonfire?

    Nothing since then. I get people get busy but never checked her messages in a couple days? I’m thinking I’m making plans for tonight since I didn’t hear back about the fire. Just go along with Saturday evening and go have fun. To me, if she thinks about me at all she’d check her phone and see my question within a few days. I fear average interest or maybe dating others as well.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,324
    Gender
    Female
    I suspect when you mutually agreed to the bonfire, that is set. Asking what time, she may have either not seen that or had to talk to someone about the time and confirm it with you. It could have easily gotten away from her.
    You do have a date Saturday. Don't get stuck on the details. Safe to say it will be well underway by the time you get there. What time is starts doesn't really matter.
    Trust she'll get back to you.
    I get the her style of communicating (or lack there of) causes you to feel uneasy. But you need to step back and give her the opportunity to meet you half way. Or in this case, part way.

    I can remember a time being the same situation. The really long stretches of silence inbetween caused me anxiety. I could tell my anxiety over this was running the show when I was having these internal arguements in my head convincing myself why reaching out (when I really knew better not to) was warranted. I would delete his number so I wouldn't be tempted. I know it sounds silly. But the anxiety went away when the temptation was removed. And . . . you guessed it. He would ultimately reach out.
    It's way more rewarding to wait it out then it is to being the one to do all the heavy lifting and wondering if it it's for nothing

    Her communication is different than yours, but trust her fingers aren't broken.
    The last argument is, if she doesn't respond, at least you know now and could put a stake it in and be done.
    You don't need to convince anyone to like you.

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •