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Thread: Is this the end of my relationship

  1. #1

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    Is this the end of my relationship

    I am a married man with five kids, one of which, the oldest is my stepson. We’ve been married for five years.

    We have had our ups and downs like any other relationship. In recent years, especially in the past year, I have found it difficult to show my wife emotional attachment. I still love her but not in love with her. I am trying to rekindle the flame but it just feels like its 1 step forward and 2 steps back.

    None of us have cheated or anything like that. I feel disconnected from her if you know what I mean. I have told her this, but she shrugs it off.

    I don’t feel in love with her at all now, and hand on heart, I think if it weren’t for the kids, we would have already parted. I know it is unhealthy to stay together for the kid’s sake, but my kids are my world, and I couldn’t cope without them.

    My question is, is there anything to try, or does this sound like it’s over 100%? Thanks.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Is there intimacy? Have there been recent stressors with finances, jobs, blended families? All you can do is try marriage therapy to open a dialogue with the help of a neutral trained professional.
    Originally Posted by Lost634
    I am a married man with five kids, one of which, the oldest is my stepson. We’ve been married for five years.

    I still love her but not in love with her. I feel disconnected from her if you know what I mean.

  3. #3

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    Thank you wiseman. There really isn't any intimacy at all to be fair, There is also no stresses as I have started a new job that let's me spend more time with my family and more income too. I mentioned therapy but again just said we don't need it.. maybe she has gave up too but doesn't want to say but she isn't that type of woman, she would/always has said what's on her mind.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Just for clarification...you've had a new child every year you've been married?

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  6. #5

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    The oldest is 13 (stepson) then 11, 9,5 and 1

  7. #6

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    Sorry should have said been together 13 years and married for 5 years

  8. #7
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Does your wife work outside the home?

    Did this lack of "emotional attachment" to your wife start after the wedding? Or perhaps after the youngest child was born?

  9. #8

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    No she doesn't work. The emotional attachment if I am honest started around the time the second youngest was born. I am a very hands on dad, I like to spend my free with my kids learning them skills,playing football swimming going to the park etc, I would always say to my wife that it would be good for her to maybe come along once or twice to spend time as a family doing things the kids enjoy. But it was always no. I then told myself ok I understand she is with them all day until I am home from work and thats when I started feeling attachment start to fall and its been declined ever since. And not only then did I feel that it was like we had nothing in common. I mean I love her as the mother of my kids yeah but that is as far as I see it, someday I dig deep and try and start new but she rejects any kind of renewal of you know what I mean.

  10. #9

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    I should have added there we used to go out once a month for a meal or cinema or just a cosy night in, but those days/nights never happen now.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Could she be depressed?

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