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Thread: Nude beaches and children

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I think this debate can provoke a lot of strong reactions depending on experience and upbringing especially among survivors of sexual abuse. Having not been affected by these things changes the way I might see the world. Having also come from a place outside of North America, I think this also changes my view slightly. It is a very good point your friend's making that there are individuals out there who are mentally sick or corrupt.

    To me this is more of a question of whether we're willing to accept that fact or not (sickness and corruption), depending on whether we ourselves have been affected by our own experiences, culture or backgrounds.

    I didn't grow up in N America or Europe or any 'western' country. I grew up in a place where there is lots of child sex trade and children go missing and are sold. I think I was one of the lucky ones to have parents who safeguarded me as a female child where I grew up. Doesn't make me feel any more privileged but I know there are many, many out there who didn't have a choice. I don't forget where I came from and I've inherited some of that lack of trust overall but no, I can't say that I've been hurt in this way. I think if you get to walk around naked or not naked anywhere in any country and not be assaulted that IS privilege. I'm only mentioning this because it changes the lens through which I view things.

    I personally wouldn't take a young child to a nudist beach but not necessarily because I think everyone is bad or I openly distrust everyone or am unfriendly. There's a lot happening in those young minds, so much to learn and so little time. There's just so much more valuable information to teach them or show them than what body parts belong where. I also believe confidence starts with you as a parent... what you do and say to your child at home, how you carry yourself as her mum. She's looking at you and how you talk with dad and your mannerisms, even how you walk. When she starts to have more awareness about her body parts she'll also start pointing and asking questions and you'll get to tell her and teach her. She will mirror you so if you do want to try and exercise in building confidence and self-esteem you don't have to look any further than yourself and how you carry yourself as an individual, how you let others talk to you or how you speak to people of the opposite sex. She'll learn everything she needs from her parents.

    For me, yes, I do know and accept there is filth out there but that's not the main reason not to go. If it was life and death and it meant running through a beach like that, I think you'd know what to do to protect your kids in a tough situation! As it is, there's just so much more I'd rather teach her instead. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BecxyRex
    I donít believe in demonizing or sexualizing nude bodies by default, but it seems a lot of people would find it inappropriate to have their children see naked people in a non sexual environment.

    I think actually that it can be beneficial to see people comfortable in the way they are, as opposed to experiencing nudity in some medium that might portray unrealistic ideals.
    I agree with you.

    America is a funny place. Full of contradictions. I have no explanation for it.

  3. #13
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    This is quite a controversial subject.

    I think there is a difference between a beach where just a few people are naked and a beach where everyone is naked. I wouldn't mind bringing children in the first case (which actually is the norm is Europe, there are always topless women on the beach*) but I would in the latter. Not for any specific reason, I just wouldn't allow kids in nude beaches notably beaches with naked men.

    I don't think there is right or wrong and I wouldn't judge anyone whatever he believes. But this pseudo-puritanism in America...

    *PS for guys: Usually it's not the good looking so don't dream haha

  4. #14
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    I wouldn't because at age 3 he likely would have been confused by it and not in a good way. Occasionally he saw women nursing without totally covering up and that was fine -that's feeding a baby. Also at his preschool there were rules about "private parts" etc and at age 3 it would have been too hard to teach him the distinction -and not worth the effort. Seeing parents nude in the home is very different -that kind of distinction I've seen no issues with as far as children feeling confused.

    An example -when he was around 2 he needed an extended ear exam. We needed to distract him during it so he'd be still. We were told to blow a pinwheel that he could focus on. Except what he took away from it was all the blowing we did so he started this lovely spitting habit for quite awhile after that. A waitress who leaned into him too close one day at a restaurant didn't appreciate the consequence. Kids of that age often are not communicating at a level where you can explain concepts so exposing the child to adults exposing themselves might result in unpredictable consequences that are really hard to undo.

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  6. #15
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    I have been drawing nude models since I was 14. And there was nothing goofy in our heads - we were just there to draw. My youngest will be 5 soon, and he has to strip off his uniform as soon as he comes home. I don't even bother because I am not interested in body shaming him with what he does in his own home. That being said, nude beaches - I don't have a problem with it, or anyone being nude - but I don't want to share myself or hubs in public. It's a personal preference. I've modeled in the nude in the past a few times. Just can't do it for leisure in my head. As far as kids, if we were at a public beach, sure, why not. Granted, OM Gosh, my eldest when he was 3.5 stripped down at a public park, and went in the lake. Took him like seconds to do it too - before I could stop him. And he had the best time. And this was NOT a nudist beach. No one cared either. In the US, we still have some people going nuts if someone is breastfeeding (insert rolling eyes here). It's definitely a cultural thing + personal decision.

  7. #16
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    I actually think it's the opposite of body shaming to teach a child boundaries as far as private parts, early on, in a matter of fact and positive/respectful way. Sure a parent can have those boundaries be "anything goes inside the home" - it's the parent's business - but sometimes "anything goes" is part of a "I don't want to deal with it, so anything goes" - if it's the latter (not saying tattoobunnie wrote that at all) then that's more passivity than teaching a child how to respect his or her body and others' bodies. I have a friend who emailed nude photos of her toddlers to lots of people and I thought that was unfair to the kids -they had no say in how their private areas were displayed and broadcast to goodness knows how many people.

    I would not be ok with children being nude in a non-nude beach in front of my child. Or adults. It's not allowed in our public park, anyway.

  8. #17
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    I should clarify. If there is anyone else outside of us (mom, dad, bro) who just happens to stop by, he runs like as fast as lightning to his room to put on clothes. I never had to ever ask once. He just always has known he should be dressed around others. The rule that is mandatory though is, if you are going outside or the garage, you must have clothes and shoes on. My youngest, definitely, a unique one.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Rose, for me, I don't see being able to walk around without being assaulted as a privledge. I see that as a basic human right. I think the distinction is important. If someone is assaulted or a child kidnapped, that's a gross violation of human rights.
    Im not trying to invalidate any of your very good points and experience. It's just a pet peeve of mine when privledge is confused with human rights.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    I should clarify. If there is anyone else outside of us (mom, dad, bro) who just happens to stop by, he runs like as fast as lightning to his room to put on clothes. I never had to ever ask once. He just always has known he should be dressed around others. The rule that is mandatory though is, if you are going outside or the garage, you must have clothes and shoes on. My youngest, definitely, a unique one.
    Yes. I wouldn't have wanted to do the work of drawing the distinction for my son when he wa 3 just so he could go to a nude beach. So many other options. But in other cases I did do the work - like teaching him from early on about respect for his own body and for others' bodies, and who is allowed to touch him, etc. I would not have wanted him around nude adults who weren't his parents just so we could go to a particular beach. By contrast we took him to the D'orsay museum in Paris when he was 7 and he saw the huge nude male statue and exclaimed over the size of the man's penis. Loudly. LOL.

  11. #20
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    Rose, for me, I don't see being able to walk around without being assaulted as a privledge. I see that as a basic human right. I think the distinction is important. If someone is assaulted or a child kidnapped, that's a gross violation of human rights.
    Im not trying to invalidate any of your very good points and experience. It's just a pet peeve of mine when privledge is confused with human rights.
    Yes ,very important to have your body not violated at any point ever in your life should be a basic human right.

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