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Thread: OCD, dreams triggers, anxiety...

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    The Rocinante'
    QUOTE=ShySoul;7246154]Cynder, I'm really sorry you've had to endure so much in your life. If it helps any, I see a remarkable, intelligent, and caring person inside you. I know it can be a struggle, but you're doing well. Hope you took some time to relax and calm yourself. One dream doesn't mean something bad will follow or that he'll start slipping. You're strong and can handle this.

    From what you've said about your girlfriend, she'll want to know and help you through. She might even suspect there's more the what you are telling. Don't go into detail if you think it would only make you feel worse. But let her know about you husband and the fears you have. These are the moments that can really bring you closer together. The moments I've felt closet to people have usually been while bonding over something that's hurt us or made us anxious. I think she'll understand and will be there to help you through your feelings. Having that support can really keep you calm and prevent you from going to far into depression.

    And I also think your husband's family was weird with their response to his passing. It's sad, but maybe not uncommon, that people can make that time about them and not be able to reflect who the person really was. I had similar feelings with my father's funeral a couple years, like the person being described wasn't the father I grew up with.[/QUOTE]

    Yesterday when she got home from work we actually had a pretty long talk about it. She said I didn't have to tell her anything I wasn't comfortable telling her. But I ended up telling her everything just because I really wanted her to understand where I was coming from. And I kept apologizing for all of this. She told me I really need to stop being sorry about everything all the time. And she's right. That is something I struggle with. When I was growing up I couldn't do anything right. Both of my parents told me more than once that I ruined their lives. So I grew up feeling like I should be sorry for even existing.

    And when I was a kid if something made me happy it was automatically bad and they would find some reason to take it away from me. So I just think my subconscious is trained to not be happy. Because it seems like whenever things are going really well in my life, I get depressed.

    She thinks I need to try different meds. I like the meds I'm on. This isn't the first time this has come up either. She has suggested I change my meds before. I hope this doesn't become a bigger conflict down the line. I went off them for a little while earlier this year because I was detoxing for an Ayahuasca ceremony. Getting used to them again was pretty rough. I was getting acclimated to my meds again right around the time her and I started dating. So she might not have understood that I was just getting back into taking them.

    Anyway, thanks for replying. Sorry I didn't answer you sooner.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    I think her reactions about the meds is understandable -she hasn't known you long, but now you are seriously involved and you shared a lot of intense stuff with her all at once plus she saw you looking unwell. It's a lot. I'm not a knee jerk meds person nor would I suggest anyone change their meds and that's just me -I know many people are into meds, shifting meds, trying all sorts of different medicinal and natural approaches -I see that all over my FB feed especially now with Covid. I know she suggested it before, too. Just confirm your boundaries like you did and know that she's probably going to raise it in some manner unless you set some ground rules like "I really want to be able to share all these details with you and the reaction that I should change my meds just isn't that helpful to me - i'd rather share than be hesitant to share." Something like that.

  3. #23
    Gold Member ShySoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Where love guides our hearts and actions
    Parents can really have a long lasting affect on us, for good and bad. Their actions leave impressions with you that are hard to shake. If all you've known is depression or having bad things happen to you, how do not anticipate that will continue? You can't enjoy the good because you know something bad is going to come and ruin it. It's a difficult cycle to break out of. Personally, I have to keep reminding myself of the good each day, even if it's something small. Enjoy the happiness you have now, trying to live in the moment.

    With the meds, just be honest with her about it. This is all new to her so she's trying to help anyway she think she can. She saw you hurting so thought that might be part of the problem. Finding the right medication can be tricky, so if you feel it's helping, continue with it. She'll understand if explain it to her.

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