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Thread: Inappropriate photos on boyfriends phone

  1. #1
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    Inappropriate photos on boyfriends phone

    Hello everyone,
    The other day my boyfriend and I were looking at photos on his phone to make a contact photo for myself. He went to the bathroom and I scrolled back to October. We have been together for over a year since July 2019. I found multiple nudes of other random women. I asked him and he said it was just his friends sending it in the group chat and he didnít even know they were still there. He apologized and said itís nothing my friends and I were just messing around with each other. I also found screen shots of other girls Instagram photos. He said his friends sent those as well and he didnít know they were still on his phone. I didnít see any recent photos. But there were random girls on there from July-April. I just felt hurt because I donít do stuff like that and I was trying to understand why. It also felt like I had been disrespected by him and his friends. Please let me know your thoughts.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Ugh.... I think its always a bummer to find out your guy might be a pig when he is with his guy friends.

    Or do you not believe him?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Some guys think it's funny to send those kinds of pictures to their friends in a joking manner. (mainly younger guys).

    He was pretty transparent with you, he didn't try to hide it and he showed you without grabbing the phone and trying to run off.
    I think that says something, because if he was trying to be deceptive, he wouldn't have even shown you anything, or if it accidentally came up, he would have hidden it as quickly as he could from you.

    I don't know, from my point of view, it sounds fairly innocent. Has he seemed like a decent guy the entire time you've dated him?

    As for his friends, he can't control what they do, so it's not fair to punish him over their actions. Some guys can act immature like that.

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I guess you only have two choices. If he doesn't match you because he accepts or seeks out these photos, break up with him.

    If you choose to stay, tell him you want those photos deleted, and if he wants to remain in a relationship with you, he can no longer engage in that behavior. And if he does, you'll make your exit because you don't give more than one chance. You'll have to stick to that ultimatum, because if you don't, it means the behavior isn't a dealbreaker for you.

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    Yes thank you. He has been a decent guy. I do love him but I donít want to be with someone who will continue to participate in that behavior. He said he hasnít done it in 10 months which I believe. But it makes me sick to think he did that when I was with him.

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    I believe him. But his friends definitely seem gross and disrespectful. It seems like he was just trying to hang with them but I donít appreciate that behavior.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Well then there's your answer.

    It's an eye roll moment. What can you do? Tell him is gross to you and then let it go. Know that he probably will continue to get these texts etc from his friends and participate. He probably should do a better job of shielding you from it and you stop checking his phone.

    Or decide he isn't for you and dump him.

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    Thank you. He said he will not participate and has not in 10 months. Do you think this behavior can change just like he said. I told him I donít want to be with that kind of person and he said itís not who he is and he was just being stupid.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dance100
    Thank you. He said he will not participate and has not in 10 months. Do you think this behavior can change just like he said. I told him I donít want to be with that kind of person and he said itís not who he is and he was just being stupid.
    If he values you and your relationship, he won't engage in that relationship anymore. Time will tell. No need to snoop. The truth always comes out one way or the other. And now that you've had the discussion, don't bring it up anymore. You said what you needed to say. He talked the talk and now you will have to see if he can walk the walk.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    If you are going to police your boyfriends behavior then you might as well breakup right now because he will eventually resent you for it and dump you.

    He is who he is and up until now you have had no reason to think less of him so go with what you know. If he gets texts or whatever that have some naked internet chick on them it is what it is. He didn't send it or forward it did he?

    It is like standing in a group and someone tells a gross joke, just because you hear the joke does that mean you condone it?

    He freely scrolled through his phone with you right there so does that sound like a guy with something to hide?

    I hate to break this to you but guys do stuff around each other they would never dream of doing around their gf's or wives. They fart on each others heads, make jokes in poor taste, act like fools and all manner of juvenile stuff. Does that mean any of them are horrible people? NO!

    As far as you being disrespected by any of this goes. Why are you making this about you? There were no pictures of you or a mention of you so why are you making this about your dignity? Just because you are dating a guy that received pictures does not mean or imply anyone has done anything personal towards you.

    The guy was very open and honest with you and if you cannot accept him for who he is and want to change him into your vision of boyfriend material then this does not look good for the relationship.

    Lost

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