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Thread: Partner of 5+ years is keeping a financial secret

  1. #41
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    The most effective method I've heard for couples to manage finances without issues is straightforward:

    Set up 3 accounts: HIS, HERS and OURS.

    Decide how the OURS account should be funded, and include all shared expenses, savings and investments.

    Once each partner meets their share of contribution to the OURS account, the rest of their money is discretionary--they can spend it or save it as they wish, and without discussion about it with the other.

    This resolves all money issues before they occur: if someone wants to fund their extended family, their children, their hobbies, their own savings account--it's irrelevant to the other because all shared financial commitments are met.

    This takes 'secrets' off the table. Period.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Originally Posted by Kitty2705
    I brought up the ‘secret’ again and he was getting agitated
    I find when they can't tell you this type of secret, is because he's already revealed who he was. He's selfish. Marriage won't make him change - he will only get 10x worse after he locks you in legally.

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