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Thread: Iím confused and unsure

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Where he would like for me to sit for 10-15 mins to breathe and talk. Which I dont mind doing however he doesnít start the conversation or even say that he wants to talk.

    He's asked for something, and instead of accommodating that reasonable request, you're coming up with excuses. You don't have to do the same thing every day. You can switch things up, but for that 10 minutes you can sometimes: Give him a longer hug than usual and say you missed him. Cup his face in your hand and give him a warm smile and ask him how his day was. And then tell him about yours. You could pick up his favorite dessert on your lunch break and give it to him when you arrive home.

    He should respond in kind and perhaps make more of an effort himself.

    Are chores divvied in a fair way? And if it's hard to do the farm chores with light fading, you could always ask for his help so that with two people working, it'll get done quicker. If you feel you do more chores than him, come up, together, with a fairer division. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #32

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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    Where he would like for me to sit for 10-15 mins to breathe and talk. Which I dont mind doing however he doesnít start the conversation or even say that he wants to talk.

    He's asked for something, and instead of accommodating that reasonable request, you're coming up with excuses. You don't have to do the same thing every day. You can switch things up, but for that 10 minutes you can sometimes: Give him a longer hug than usual and say you missed him. Cup his face in your hand and give him a warm smile and ask him how his day was. And then tell him about yours. You could pick up his favorite dessert on your lunch break and give it to him when you arrive home.

    He should respond in kind and perhaps make more of an effort himself.

    Are chores divvied in a fair way? And if it's hard to do the farm chores with light fading, you could always ask for his help so that with two people working, it'll get done quicker. If you feel you do more chores than him, come up, together, with a fairer division.
    In a way the chores are divided. We help each other as much as possible but that doesnít always mean that we do them together. I will be trying the break before chores to make things better. To sit and talk about our days.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I'm curious...you used "they" and "them" to describe the "person" at work you're attracted to, but you use "he" and "him" to describe your fiance.
    Is the "person" at work a woman? If so, have you been attracted to women before?

  4. #34

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I'm curious...you used "they" and "them" to describe the "person" at work you're attracted to, but you use "he" and "him" to describe your fiance.
    Is the "person" at work a woman? If so, have you been attracted to women before?
    Good question but no the person at work is a man as well. I used they and them to split it up so easier to tell the difference between people.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
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    Sad, you two dont seem to communicate much :/.
    BUT you are aiming to MARRY.

    And the worst thing to do is consider anything to do with a co-worker!

    Maybe.. things have changed, because you two have grown more 'comfrotable' with each other?

    IMO, If you agreed to marry this guy- with HIM is the only place your heart should be.

    As for the other dude, that could just be some kind of 'lust', or curioisity? OR something YOU are craving- where is lacking within your relationship? Think on that - of which is up to the TWO of you to fix.

    I guess if you are really NOT into it- then be honest with him.. BUT I highly suggest you do NOT end up running into something else with this other guy.. Can very much end up like a rebound.. they come on strong & end fast- and damaging :(

  7. #36

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    Originally Posted by SooSad33
    Sad, you two dont seem to communicate much :/.
    BUT you are aiming to MARRY.

    And the worst thing to do is consider anything to do with a co-worker!

    Maybe.. things have changed, because you two have grown more 'comfrotable' with each other?

    IMO, If you agreed to marry this guy- with HIM is the only place your heart should be.

    As for the other dude, that could just be some kind of 'lust', or curioisity? OR something YOU are craving- where is lacking within your relationship? Think on that - of which is up to the TWO of you to fix.

    I guess if you are really NOT into it- then be honest with him.. BUT I highly suggest you do NOT end up running into something else with this other guy.. Can very much end up like a rebound.. they come on strong & end fast- and damaging :(
    That is what I have always thought that the man I choose to marry is the only man that should have my heart and thatís that.

    This wrench that has jammed the gears just confused everything and therefore left me on the island of confusion.

    Thank you for your advice it is possible that we have just became more comfortable with each other that it feels like weíre drifting apart.

    We are going to try to fix this together the best we can.

  8. #37
    Gold Member ShySoul's Avatar
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    All of these issues and differences would have come out eventually, so it's good to be addressing them now before you're married. People all have different quirks or communication styles. The key is learning to compromise, how to each bend a little so that the other person is filling like their needs are met. And the only way to do that is to talk to each other, communicating those needs and really listening to each other. I would be like you, trying to get all the work out of the way so that when I do sit down with someone I wouldn't be thinking of all the things I still need to finish. But right now the relationship needs complete, undivided attention. Communication is essential, it's how the inevitable problems that come up are solved.

    I hope things are going okay for you and that you two can work through this.

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