Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 38

Thread: What should I do

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42

    What should I do

    Hey guys again, if you remember my story , after my ex bf breakup with me he wanted to be friends , however I tried but find myself always thinking about him and told him I need space because I still have feelings , and went no contact few weeks passed and he reaches out and says he miss me and wondering when will my break end and we can be friends again , I told him I don't know as I was not yet ready and was responding really nice and told him if he feels okay and need to talk , but he was acting cold after I told him I'm still not okay to be friends , we ended conversation and i'm still no contact , so what should I do do I acted right? He haven't mentioned that he wanted me back, but wanted me close again.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,606
    Gender
    Male
    Why do you want to be friends with him? Focus on healing, moving forward. Get on some equality (paid) dating apps and start talking to and meeting men.

    Spend time on your future, not a nebulous painful past.

    Back and forth, friends or lovers, on and off...It sounds very exhausting .Keep in mind selfish people do not hesitate to waste your time or jerk you around like this.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Ya that's what I was trying to do , after all your advice guys, I'm trying to work on myself however I was worried if I'm doing wrong decision by not accepting his friendship as we were best friends before we were together

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    2,668
    You did not make the wrong decision by not accepting his friendship. Friendship would always feel too awkward for you. You should tell him no means no and forewarn him that if he still doesn't get your message, you will ignore, block and delete him. Don't allow him to be relentless as he hounds you for friendship. In order for you to heal, recover and move on, you have to eliminate him from your life otherwise you'll always go backwards with him. Make a clean break and be done with it.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    23,404
    This is third time we will advise you to block and delete him!

    You CANNOT BE FRIENDS if there are feelings! What are you not getting?!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    56
    Posts
    8,173
    Gender
    Male
    What is in it for you being friends with him? Do you want to stay in limbo while this "friendship" continues?

    You need to stop worrying about what he is thinking or his feelings and stay focused on yourself.

    You were best friends once and then decided to be more than friends and it didn't work out. That is the chance a lot of people take.

    Some time in the future you could once again be really good friends but you both would need to be in solid and happy relationships where neither of you were still hung up on the other. Until that happens friendship is not an option.

    He is being selfish for wanting a friendship.

    This is about you, not him. Think of all the scenarios where he is telling you about some girl he hooked up with or brings his new love around to meet his best friend. No thanks

    Lost

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    You can not advice me if it bothers you I get it, it's not easy as you think , and I find no other place to talk to someone but here , anyway thanks guys this is the last time I will be posting and I wanted to delete the account but it doesn't seem to be possible , thanks for your time

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    11,310
    Gender
    Female
    No you are not wrong for saying NO to him.

    Again, this guy is being selfish and is not being a friend to you, he is being a user. Said this in your last thread - if he doesn't respect your request, block him. He didn't respect your request, so time to block him.

    Life changes OP. It doesn't matter what he was before, what matter is that today he is just an ex. An ex is a person who is no longer a part of your life, just a part of your past history. Today is the beginning of new life and a new story for you and it does NOT include ex's.

    What really concerns me is that you are completely wrapped up in how to please him even though he dumped you, but are showing no concern or respect for yourself and what's best for you. Please stop being such a doormat and figure out what's driving you to act like that. It's not pretty and definitely not healthy for you. You will attract a lot of toxic users and loser that way.

    Boundaries, OP, you have to learn to develop some healthier boundaries.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,800
    Gender
    Female
    You can solve your poblem if you block and delete him. Leaving this forum won't do that.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    23,404
    Originally Posted by Mayo l22
    You can not advice me if it bothers you I get it, it's not easy as you think , and I find no other place to talk to someone but here , anyway thanks guys this is the last time I will be posting and I wanted to delete the account but it doesn't seem to be possible , thanks for your time
    I would say that most of us have been in this situation. We have all advised you over-and-over on what to do. I am assuming that you are repeating the question, hoping that you will get a different response . You won't.

    Do you have friends you can talk to?

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •