Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: I don't know what to do about moving in

  1. #1

    I don't know what to do about moving in

    Hi, my boyfriend and I are due to move in. We have applied for a house and they are going through references. I work, he doesn't and doesn't want to (wants to live off inheritance). He has offered to pay 6 months of rent upfront so they will accept our application as he doesn't work.

    I'm not sure I want to owe him money. I cannot afford to pay him 3 months rent (my half) upfront. Our relationship is volatile. I was happy to accept the tenancy when it was a two-bedroom property, we were each paying per month so we could get different room-mates if we broke up as people do.

    I think I should be grateful but instead, I'm just scared it won't work out. We had a call over skype today (currently living long-distance) and it ended in tears. I'm really not sure what to do. It's too late notice really to find elsewhere and I'm scared I'm panicking for no reason.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,801
    Gender
    Female
    You are right to panic, this is not going to turn out well. Living off inheritance is a bad idea, you dont say how much money he has but he should be doing something towards his future with it, not paying 6 months rent with it. What happens after 6 months? Are you planning to support him because he's too lazy to get a job?

    A volatile relationship is never good, if you cant get along at a distance how will you get along when you are in the same house?

    You need to find another place to live, with someone other than him if you cant afford to live on your own. This has disaster written all over it.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    10,917
    Your gut is screaming at you that this is not a good idea.

    You would be wise to listen to it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    2,672
    Follow your instincts because it's always correct and right.

    Don't move in together. Your future does not look bright with him. Better to be alone than feeling lonely with the wrong man.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    23,294
    Gender
    Female
    we could get different room-mates if we broke up as people do.
    Why not just go straight to this?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,608
    Gender
    Male
    How well do you know him? It sounds like a horrible deal. Stay where you are

    Do not get roommates to complicate things. Just don't move in with someone unemployed, long distance and "volitile" .

    What does volitile mean? On/off? Abusive? Drugs and heavy drinking? What does " live off his inheritance" mean?

    This is a horrible partner and an even worse risk as a roommate. It sounds like a scam.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    5,195
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by ElephantGuac
    I'm not sure I want to owe him money. I cannot afford to pay him 3 months rent (my half) upfront. Our relationship is volatile....

    I think I should be grateful but instead, I'm just scared it won't work out. We had a call over skype today (currently living long-distance) and it ended in tears.
    Go with your gut. Don't move in.

    Rent a storage locker and shack up with friends or family temporarily if need be. But don't move in with him.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    52,365
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Go with your gut. Don't move in.

    Rent a storage locker and shack up with friends or family temporarily if need be. But don't move in with him.
    Could not agree more. Do not move in and entangle yourself with him financially in any way.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    23,406
    Why are you even dating someone who doesn't want to work? Hw can you have any respect for him? He sounds like a lazy loser! Your future is supporting this idiot.

    The relationship is toxic and you want to move in together. What are you thinking? Up your standards, this has bad all over it!

    What do your parents and friends say?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    3,085
    It is not a good sign to move forward in a relationship with an exit plan. Yes. Relationships end. Marriages end. Bad things do happen. But when you are planning to move in together, it should be happy, fun, exciting! You are experiencing none of that. Add volatility to this and its a recipe for disaster.

    Why are you I this relationship? Honest question.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •