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Thread: Ex-boyfriend moved into a house with his Ex-wife

  1. #1

    Ex-boyfriend moved into a house with his Ex-wife

    So I just left a really awesome guy, he has caring, loving and attentive to me. That was never the problem, the problem was that he lied from the very beginning about how involved his ex wife is in his life. I helped him pick a house to move into in my city - thinking we’d be moving in together. Instead he informs me that his ex-wife will be moving in. He didn’t consult with me, or made sure I was okay with it and made the decision behind my back.

    So not only did he lie to me, he deferred to his ex and actually took her side against me all the time. Needless to say, I broke it off pretty quickly.

    The worst part about this break up Is He kept showing up at my work, my apartment, my parents house to “get me back” and I almost fell For it except he blames me for the downfall of it. “I couldn’t accept his relationship with his wife. I destroyed our love etc etc”

    Anyway it was all very messed up... but how do I now feel like the bad guy? Did I overreact? Like honestly maybe this all wasn’t so bad. I’m very confused and sad. I miss him but I also know it was kind of a messed up situation.

  2. #2
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    Originally Posted by Morleymew
    So I just left a really awesome guy, he has caring, loving and attentive to me. That was never the problem, the problem was that he lied from the very beginning about how involved his ex wife is in his life. I helped him pick a house to move into in my city - thinking we’d be moving in together. Instead he informs me that his ex-wife will be moving in. He didn’t consult with me, or made sure I was okay with it and made the decision behind my back.
    You now know that this was an act.

    This dude sounds rather unglued and incredibly devious. You were wise to break up with him - he is not awesome. Far from it.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Never get involved with married people. Get a restraining order if he is harassing you and your family.
    Originally Posted by Morleymew
    The worst part about this break up Is He kept showing up at my work, my apartment, my parents house to “get me back” and I almost fell For it except he blames me for the downfall of it. “I couldn’t accept his relationship with his wife. I destroyed our love etc et .

  4. #4
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    " I just left a really awesome guy, he has caring, loving and attentive to me." Huh!? He cheated on you the entire time. He used you? What are you not getting! You really need to wake up!

    Did you also give him money? Did you meet the wife?

    I think you need to stay from dating for a long while. Why haven't you blocked and deleted this creep?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you his and his wife's realtor? Why would you help a married man "find a house"?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Wake up! The guy is a liar and a cheat! He fooled you and took advantage of you. You were smart to tell him to hit the road. Block and delete him from contacting you and if you have to, get a restraining order so he cant pester you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    When you first met this guy, was one of your first questions to him, "How long has it been since your last breakup?"

    How much did you actively learn about his breakup, his divorce and his current position with his ex?

    This isn't about blame, it's about responsible protection of ourselves from dating anyone who's rebounding from their last relationship.

    My private rule is that I won't involve myself with anyone who is still involved with an ex, in any way shape or form, beyond shared children. You're learning WHY.

    Head high, take the pearls out of a lesson learned and apply it to your dating life as you move forward.

    Looking back on anyone who's still involved with an ex is a waste of your time and energy. Avoid that mistake, and you'll thank yourself later.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
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    You're right.. it is messed up :/

    You are right for doing what you did- Get out of it all- for your own mentality!

    Ex-boyfriend moved into a house with his Ex-wife

    - Leave him to it! You're done.

  10. #9
    To my knowledge he never cheated with her. They were divorced. But he clearly was very connected with her. When I met him I asked a lot about her and it was always that she wasn’t apart of his life. I did meet her - she was very unstable. Never gave him money and have blocked and deleted him hence why he showed up places.

  11. #10
    100%
    Lesson completely learned!

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