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Thread: Is backing off a good solution?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Originally Posted by Mayo l22
    I told him clear that I need a break from that friendship thing, he agreed since I told him I was emotionally not stable , thanks guys for your advice ,and wish me luck
    You did the right thing, Mayo122. Friendship with an ex is plain awkward. It's best to move on without him.

  2. #12
    Gold Member ShySoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Where love guides our hearts and actions
    If you think taking time apart is best for you, then you should do it. But be aware that just because you don't see the person, doesn't mean you won't carry the same feelings in you for awhile. There will still be moments you miss him and want to reach out to him. The heart has to ride these feelings out and it takes time. You can't just cut someone out of your life, especially someone that you are really close to, without it having an affect on you as well. Things will slowly get better as you fill your life with other activities and focus on being happy with yourself. Allow yourself to go through the whole process of grieving a relationship. One day you will find yourself better off and hopefully be able to continue talking with him as a valued friend.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    You are not sure, if you want him back? Who said that is going to happen? And why would it?

    Don't you feel that after crossing the line ( being his gf), and now back to just a 'friend', is a little difficult and awkward?

    You are having trouble accepting because you have no break away from anything to do with him.
    You are no longer involved.. so you dont mind when he gets involved again- seeing his new gf?

    I often make a pact to not remain as friends, especially unless or until I Know I am over them.
    Things went way past just a friendship and can be very hard to go backwards. :/.

    Often I just have to walk away - and work on accepting it all and healing.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    So what does so-called friendship buy you? A continued fixed focus on him without any ability to heal, even while he enjoys the comfort of your contact as he moves forward.

    The problem with immediately befriending an ex is that you only get two breakups out of the deal.

    I'd tell him that I need no contact to heal, and when that changes, I'll let him know. Meanwhile I wish the best for him. If he ever changes his mind and wants the same commitment you do, he can let you know. Otherwise, you'll see him on your other side.

    You don't need to play doormat in order to keep your door open. AND, your own needs should be more important to you than his at this time.

    Head high.


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