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Thread: too close for comfort?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I am not so sure about that.

    She is invested in his feelings far more than she should be, at this stage in the game. They are more or less just a separated married couple, and you are the third wheel. I get the sense that they both still have romantic feelings for each other even though neither is willing to admit it.

    I would ask yourself if you really want to continue to build something with a woman who is still this attached to her husband. Personally, I would leave them to it. It's disappointing and I get that you are emotionally invested, but it's pretty clear that her husband's feelings still take priority over yours. You can't have a relationship like that. It will never get past the stage it's at now.
    I agree. She has way to much feelings for him. She has way to much feelings for a lot of people in her life. She’s way over caring about so many mostly girlfriends,even ones that don’t deserve the attention and caring she gives..

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by 1a1a
    Sounds to me like there’s no space for you in this relationship.

    The question is, do you want a relationship where the other person hasn’t centred you in their heart? And if nothing changes how long will you stay? 6 months? A year? 5 years? 20?
    I say that to her. ‘Where’s my space?’ And I’m told that he’s just a business partner friend,father of her children and family..that I’m her lover her partner the one she’s intimate with.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nyght
    I say that to her. ‘Where’s my space?’ And I’m told that he’s just a business partner friend,father of her children and family..that I’m her lover her partner the one she’s intimate with.
    But how do you FEEL? OK with all their interactions and closeness or does it make you feel uncomfortable and somewhat like a third wheel?

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    But how do you FEEL? OK with all their interactions and closeness or does it make you feel uncomfortable and somewhat like a third wheel?
    I’m really mixed. I know she has no romantic feelings for him.. I wake with her 5-6 nights a week and I know the missing mornings we are both awaking alone. It’s their closeness and almost perfect family dynamic and lack of closures that a normal separation that puts the knot in my gut. Yes. An outsider when sitting down at the dinner table when he is there and really nauseous when she’ll say to one of her children something like ‘pass this to daddy”..

    She tries to refrain to referring to him as “daddy’ when talking with her children but she really doesn’t do well with it or understand why it bothers me

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    I wouldnt be having family dinners with my gf, her kids & her ex.
    This is just all too weird

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sadly you feel like an outsider because you are an outsider. They are still married and living as a family unit. Why shouldn't the kids call them mom or dad? Even if they get divorced they will still be mom/dad.

    Unfortunately, what she said is true. They are a married and still a family and she thinks of you as 'her lover'. Whatever twisted nonsense she has had with her other lovers and his other lovers, doesn't mean you have to sit at their family table like a fifth wheel.

    You may miss your son, your ex wife family life etc., but if this is getting too weird you may want to reconsider what's going on and make some adjustments.
    Originally Posted by Nyght
    An outsider when sitting down at the dinner table when he is there and really nauseous when she’ll say to one of her children something like ‘pass this to daddy”..

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sadly you feel like an outsider because you are an outsider. They are still married and living as a family unit. Why shouldn't the kids call them mom or dad? Even if they get divorced they will still be mom/dad. .
    No. It’s my girlfriend and her ex talking to their children referring to one another as ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’

  9. #18
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Since this is how things are and how they'll remain, how does another 5 years of this situation sound? How about 10 years, or 25? Of her alleged ex sharing so much with her while you sit there and watch?

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Since this is how things are and how they'll remain, how does another 5 years of this situation sound? How about 10 years, or 25? Of her alleged ex sharing so much with her while you sit there and watch?
    Yes. Very disturbing to think about. The non divorce is a financial decision I’ve been told and she does expect to file but it’s not for couple more years

  11. #20
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nyght
    Yes. Very disturbing to think about. The non divorce is a financial decision I’ve been told and she does expect to file but it’s not for couple more years
    ^
    That's a classic excuse, along with "my kids are young, and need me right now," "I need to get my finances in order," "We sleep in different rooms," etc.

    Please don't tell us you're that gullible.

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