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Thread: Boyfriend and family

  1. #11

    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Originally Posted by Billie28
    What did changing your surname achieve?
    Iím confused?
    Are you trying to hide from your family , not want to be found by them?
    Changed it legally or just on social media?

    Iím confused?!
    So are you currently in touch with any family?
    You say your parents had you late and are now elderly? How old are you , they?
    And if so , why are your sisters still living there?

    Sorry, Iím not sure I understand your post. Please clarify?
    Hi, the changing of the name was a legal thing. It was because I didn't want to have my father's surname. It was suggested by my therapist after working through CSA, to adknowledge what happened and now my control over the situation. I really liked the idea so I changed it.

    I call my mother (on Sundays, when my father is out) and text my sisters.
    They're 70 but not in great shape, I'm in my 20s.
    Both sisters are still studying so can't afford to move out. They didn't receive the same abuse I did I don't think either (just different abuse).

  2. #12

    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Yep. I'd go with this. Otherwise you're leapfrogging from allowing family to control you to allowing a BF to control you. That's still relinquishing your own control, and neither is healthy.

    This is the time to learn whether BF will respect you for your independent choices, or not.

    If not, isn't that something you'll want to learn early?
    Agreed. I am adding in boundaries as I go after not having any in childhood. He's been okay so far as I've brought in more.

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