rchubn Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 I was cut off by my family. I posted about the situation on other threads. In short: my family (mainly my mother) doesnt want me around. However I'm coping with a sexual assault and I want someone around but that isnt a realistic desire for my situation. I am struggling with this SEVERELY. And although I'm getting help I still go home to an empty apartment and I'm craving love. That mindset is placing me in a position where I'm itching to contact family even though I was told not to make contact. I spend 60% of my life fighting the urge to reach out even though I'm not supposed to. I feel very alone Link to comment
rchubn Posted October 9, 2020 Author Share Posted October 9, 2020 A therapist can help me but a therapist can't hold me when I need it. I was told not to contact my family by my mother. But I spend majority of this time fighting the urge to reach out. Whenever I get good news I want to contact my family despite them telling me not to. (I talk myself our of it) How can I cope with this or curve this desire? ALSO...A BIT OFF TOPIC.. How can I cope with losing material things that hold meaning for me? I moved out the other day but I had to bring only what I could carry to my new apartment and I had to leave a lot of sentimental stuff that will probably be thrown away. I had a photo of my late grandmother, some art projects and a bunch of other things that I bought myself over the years. I don't have any clothing to wear to job interviews and I'm taking a giant financial loss because the belongs I bought myself will be thrown out. I was able to locate a food bank so I'm set with that but all my clothing I do have is dirty and I worry about my ability to present myself in a job interview. Does anyone know of any government organizations or non profits that can help me with getting living necessities? I'm in my early 20s and enrolled in school if that helps. I've been wondering if life is even worth it Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 I am so sorry, love. I too was sexually abused. Part of my family was not supportive. You can message me on here if you would like . Link to comment
maritalbliss86 Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 rchubn... I may be remembering someone else's history, but was your mom extremely abusive to you growing up? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 I am not sure of your country so I am not sure of resources. Link to comment
rchubn Posted October 9, 2020 Author Share Posted October 9, 2020 rchubn... I may be remembering someone else's history, but was your mom extremely abusive to you growing up? Yes, that's me. Link to comment
rchubn Posted October 9, 2020 Author Share Posted October 9, 2020 I am not sure of your country so I am not sure of resources. I live in the United States in Washington State if that helps. Thank you for your kind words Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 Why can't you get the rest of your belongings? It's your property. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 Is there a state community office near you? Does your college have a services office ? Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 Why can't you get the rest of your belongings? It's your property. Can you get a police man to go with you to get your stuff? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 Go to the department of social services. They can help you with housing assistance, food stamps, mental and physical health care, career training, job placement and perhaps support groups . Start looking online for state agencies as well as local recourses through your city/county as well as private organizations, such as faith based groups, etc. Does anyone know of any government organizations or non profits that can help me with getting living necessities? I'm in my early 20s and enrolled in school if that helps. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 I'm sorry this is happening to you. What was the reason you got kicked out of the house and told never to make contact again? What happened to cause that? I don't think anyone can stop you from picking up your own personal belongings unless there is some kind of restraining order in place. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 Lookup your local police non-emergency number and call them to find out if they can escort you to your family home to collect your belongings. That's a pretty common request, so it's not something that they don't know how to accommodate. We've suggested a call to a suicide hotline, and there are many to be found on the internet. They can help you to find local resources, but most are likely posted on the Internet. You are in school, and your tuition covers mental health counseling. You've already paid for the services, so use them to your advantage. Phone your therapist for a referral to a social worker who can help you to find and apply for resources. In the absence of love from someone else, rather than talking yourself into believing that you are suffering, talk yourself into recognizing how much and how well you can love your Self at this time. View every baby step you make forward as an accomplishment, and build your pride in how many of those steps add up. Recognize that you will reach a point where this hardest of times is in your rearview mirror, and you will thank yourself for your resilience and ability to bounce back from this. Head high, and keep taking baby steps. One at a time. Link to comment
maritalbliss86 Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 Agree with catfeeder's advice 100% !!! Link to comment
maritalbliss86 Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 Just one more thing I was thinking of... if you're the same person I'm thinking of... did your mom used to strangle you when you were ages 3-4 and abuse you physically etc to the point where your grandparents had to take you in? If you are... when I first read your post on the mental trauma you've endured over the years with you mom, and how it was always ongoing... I just felt so much pain for you. I think your life is going to be painful - extremely painful - as long as you have your mom in your life. She's borderline sadistic in her treatment of you and as long as she's there, she's **going** to hurt you. I think... accepting that is really hard, but it's probably the only way to heal and move on and release the trauma you've experienced. Because having her in your life is just going to be ongoing trauma.... You have to protect yourself and she needs to be cut loose. If you're not the same person then disregard... BUT if she really was abusive, I tend to think it still applies that the best thing for you longterm is to just cut her out of your life. Link to comment
maritalbliss86 Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 I see the post quoting scriptures about parents abandoning you was deleted, that's ok I didn't realize it was against forum rules. I do think spiritual healing is valid for some people though. It wasn't my own personal experience, but actually my mother's (who had extremely abusive parents). My mom broke the cycle of abuse, and made a totally different life for herself, and she personally accredits that to Christianity. If she hadn't been able to heal from her childhood abuse, I don't know what MY childhood would have been like to be honest. But it was wonderful and I ended up marrying a heroic man and amazing father to our 4 kids I also have an awesome mentor woman (a second mom really) in her 50's who had abusive parents and she also accredits her healing to Christianity. I wouldn't deny it definitely helps probably a lot more people than we'd realize. Her daughters are adults now and living good balanced lives - and she also broke that cycle of abuse. It just takes ONE person and they can change the course of their future family's legacy. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted October 12, 2020 Share Posted October 12, 2020 Take advantage of your school's mental health resources. They are there to help. Do you have anyone there you can talk with? A friend you can trust? If you need to, please keep posting here. We might not be able to solve everything, but we can be here to give support and encouragement. We're all wanting the best for you and to see you get through this. Always remember you are a good person who deserves better then what you've experienced. You are not responsible for how you have been treated. Things will get better. Love yourself, and have faith. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.