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Thread: Speechless and not knowing how to feel

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by Annoyneop
    Yeah I can say that kinda like a best friend
    I meant, do you think you had romantic feelings for him?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that. Did he have drug drinking or gambling problems? People who only pretend to be your friend when they need money usually do.

    Stay away from this guy. You are not helping anyone by giving them money for stuff. His behavior is that of a damaging user.

    He's not your friend. You can't buy love .

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    The bright side is that you had the strength to say No the last time and that's when that person's true colours showed. You should give yourself a pat on the back for having that strength and courage. Don't look at everything half empty. Look at the glass half full. You did it and you said NO.

    You are not a pathetic loser. You're someone who has boundaries.
    You are not someone who gets stepped on by someone who's smarter than you. Actually, you stepped on that person and all over that idea that you are a loser.

    I think you should feel fantastic and on top of the world. Celebrate and have cake that this person is no longer in your life. Laugh. Hope you feel better soon.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    People who are users are narcissists. They suck you dry emotionally and give very little if anything back. As soon as you call them out or reject them in some way they lash out like a barracuda to make sure you are very hurt, confused, and even try to destroy you.

    This person was toxic to your self worth...and TBH, it's a good thing you stood up for yourself, and kicked them to the curb. I agree you should be celebrating, and feel real good about yourself, knowing you deserve better than this.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Be glad that this is over. Stop being a push over and people pleaser. People will take advantage of you if you let them.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    while I agree with others about how you should feel glad to be away from this person and lucky it wasn't worse. I also want to advise you to question why don't you know how to YOU feel?

    It's not always a matter of how "should" you feel. They're your feelings. what are they?

    its obvious to me, in your shoes, how I would feel. I would be mad at this person. I would be hurt at what they said about me. I would also be offended that they said and did those things to me. I would not want to talk to them or be around them ever again.

    I would also want to have compassion and understanding for myself. Being friends with this person was a mistake I made. A couple of times after seeing how they treated me. So I'd probably be mad at myself for not defending myself or getting away sooner. I'd also try to work towards forgiving myself and then decide to forgive myself with the understanding that next I'm going to do better for myself and protect myself better.

    Get to know yourself better. And be better to yourself so you don't fall victim to users. Its hard when you are an open, giving person... but know users don't care about that.

    As my dad would say... givers can be takers but takers only take. if you aren't getting back what you put in, dump them!

    chin up! you're a good person and the world needs good people. don't let this get you down. pick yourself up, dust yourself off and do better next time you face a similar situation.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    There is some real good advice here OP, I hope it inspires you to live happily and feel loved.

  9. #18
    thank you all for the amazing advice many of the advice ill be taking to heart and really be using to improve myself really the main takeaway I should take from this thread is to put my foot down more faster when a friendship gets toxic THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING ME!!!!

  10. #19
    Silver Member ShySoul's Avatar
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    There will always be people out there who try to take advantage of you. Doesn't mean you shouldn't still be nice and friendly to them. But you should listen to your gut and trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable, there is a reason. A person isn't who they are in the last conversation, they are who they've been in the entire relationship. If the friendship feels one-sided, it's a reflection of who that other person is. Don't let yourself get stuck in that position.

    And remember, it's better to be you then him. You can walk away knowing you gave it a shot but stood up for himself and didn't let yourself get used anymore. He is stuck with himself and attitude of using others. If anyone sounds like a "pathetic loser," it's him.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
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    Sorry for you being treated this way :(. Totally nasty the way they made you feel.

    I am guessing with you saying you 'got close', was someone you favoured?

    There's all kinds out there. We try to be good to others, but sadly, I feel you gave too much- to someone who didnt deserve anything from you.

    They push you away? yeah, go away.. far away and never go back.

    Learn your own worth. Give credit, where credit is due. And it goes both ways. Not just give.

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