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Thread: Should I try to get my ex boyfriend back?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mayo l22
    Guys I clearly didn't accept fwb, and he apologized and never mentioned it again, I'm telling you now that he is treating me really close, like if we are in relationship
    Because he's hoping you will come around to the no commitment sex idea. If he was mean to you, you wouldn't give it up.

    You aren't obligated to be "friends". You can say no.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Are you in love with him? If you are, take some time to cool off and be on your own for awhile. You both need some distance and time to accept the break up.

    Otherwise this becomes some limbo no-person's land where you're behaving like you're both in a relationship but there's no commitment. This is an especially bad idea for you if you still have unresolved or romantic feelings for him.

    Like the others suggested, don't settle. If anything, even if you are torn and hurt and sad, know your own worth enough to step aside and stay away from this person until you are in a better place to make decisions on whether to be friends with him or not.

    If you do decide to remain friendly, make sure you have boundaries regarding that friendship and don't let it sabotage you from finding a more fulfilling relationship. You may also notice later on down the line that your future partner will not be so pleased to know that you have an ex or exes hovering in the background posing as 'friends'.

  3. #13
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    No, do not take him back. This is how I see the situation. Yes, you've known him and have been with him for quite a while but he "wanted to be friends with benefits". Really? How insensitive, rude and thoughtless of him to even voice this after being with you in a relationship. Big red flag, IMO. So glad you had the good sense to refuse this arrangement.

    He also said that "just love is not enough". Another red flag, Mayo. Muster up some courage and leave him. If you continue this relationship, you will only prolong the inevitable. You deserve someone who truly loves you and respects you. Clearly, he does not.

  4. #14
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    I know it sounds weird, and maybe the weirdest thing you will ever hear,but I'm not sure about my feelings or what I want, some times I feel good that I'm alone and will focus on myself and my future, other time I find myself crying and saying we could work things out, have I mentioned that I have recently graduated ? So I'm not experienced enough

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Mayo l22
    Guys I clearly didn't accept fwb, and he apologized and never mentioned it again, I'm telling you now that he is treating me really close, like if we are in relationship
    But he doesn’t actually want to be in a relationship with you anymore.

    It sounds like he’s happy to keep you around until he meets your replacement.

  7. #16
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Sorry to be blunt, but I'd tell him you're more than just a body to bang. My guess is he's trying to cleverly worm his way into a FWBs arrangement.

    Don't bite, and don't accept the demotion.

  8. #17
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    Ya because as I mentioned he says we want different things and this will make us grow apart in long term

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mayo l22
    I know it sounds weird, and maybe the weirdest thing you will ever hear,but I'm not sure about my feelings or what I want, some times I feel good that I'm alone and will focus on myself and my future, other time I find myself crying and saying we could work things out, have I mentioned that I have recently graduated ? So I'm not experienced enough
    His dad just passed away too. Both of you need time apart and some distance. Let the dust settle and give yourself time to feel more calm and collected. Don't make any decisions right now except to take care of yourself and focus on any plans you have after graduation. Congratulations also. What are your plans?

  10. #19
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    Ya glade you have read my previous thread, but alot of things have changed and he finally mentioned that this was the real reason for breakup, I don't know about my plans yet but I'm an artist so I will work in this career

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to say, it doesn't sound negotiable. It sounds like you tried and pleaded, but he simply wants to move forward. Have you considered that he reconnected with someone/met someone at his father's funeral? Many people from his past and local area were probably in touch at that time.

    Don't accept the friendzone, it will hurt you. Don't get strung along.

    The distance was also an issue:[Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Mayo l22
    I also want to mention that he wanted to still be close friends, and he talk to me daily, I don't mind that but I'm still confused and think we can work this out as couples not just friends.

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