Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Help my friend out...

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    14

    Help my friend out...

    Someone I know is going thru a situation..heís currently with someone who donít makes him happy,(trust me there not good together) but the only reason heís hasnít left yet is because of Convenience..he met a woman who loves him the way he wants, they are happy together, but he hasnít told her about his situation, I think heís scared of loosing the one he actually loves, how would you react? Just trying to give him some perspective.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    10,801
    The truth is that he's being incredibly selfish and deceitful.

    I would be honest that he's going to make a mess of 3 lives (his, his girlfriend's, and his affair partner's) if he doesn't remove his head from his backside. And then I would take my distance from someone who is capable of behaving like this. It's a major character flaw.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    23,310
    He is a cheat and a liar. Period.

    The guy sounds like a selfish jerk, who has no problem messing with people's lives for his own benefit.

    Make better choices in friends. He is of low character!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,355
    Gender
    Male
    Your friend needs to stop lying and cheating, but you already know that.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    4,271
    Fear and paranoia are two things I've noticed destroy from the inside out, so wholly and totally that the person is barely recognizable over time. Whatever fears he has, he hasn't dealt with them. Loss comes to everyone whether we like it or not. Life IS about loss and acceptance, ever-changing circumstances and making the most out of different situations.

    I think your friend needs time on his own to figure out what's bothering him so badly about his current life with his partner. Escapism for prolonged periods whether with another person or with hobbies and other distractions is never the answer. It helps on the surface but it doesn't resolve any issues of fear or that reluctance to face reality. A person stagnates in mental or emotional growth. You'll see it in their behaviours and actions - what they say, how they process and how they think. We can call it immoral or plain thoughtless or label it any way we want.

    I would see this person as a person who stopped growing in some way. Keep growing forwards yourself - wherever you are at. Don't stay stuck or stunt your own growth. You can pass that message to your friend/s also.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,917
    Convenience?

    HE needs to get his *** together.

    IF he is really 'in love' with someone else.. then he acts on that Out Of Respect for the one he is not happy with!
    You don't lead someone on and on if you're not in it.

    You want to give him some perspective? Tell him to smarten up, stop using this other gal.

  8. #7
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    14,908
    My perspective is that he's a liar, cheater and a selfish user. If he's not happy with his girlfriend and found someone else then he should end things with the girlfriend. He needs to stop being a jerk, but I doubt he will.

    OP, what is YOUR perspective of this "friend" of yours?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    23,204
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by crownroyal1980
    Help my friend out...
    Your friend doesn't need your help or ours. He's capable of making his own choices and he's not the one who is asking for help. Right?

    The more important question is, given your front row view of his capacity for disloyalty, why would you choose such a person as a friend?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    2,600
    My perspective is to let him live his own life, make his own mistakes and endure his harsh consequences eventually. Let him learn the hard way which is the best way. Don't meddle even though your intentions are good. With all due respect, mind your own business. It's his life so let him live it. It's his choice.

    Know your boundaries with others including him.

  11. #10
    Member WalterSobcha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    Posts
    27
    He needs to break up with the woman he is "officially" with, since it's obviously not working. That much I think most of us will all agree on, the rest is up to him.

    Since you posted this thread, I'm assuming he either asked you for advice, or you feel your advice would be welcomed. But otherwise, yes, it is his private life, so make sure he actually is willing to hear what you have to say.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •