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Thread: My marriage is a joke

  1. #11
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Maybe this is postpartum depression. In your post, it's ticking off a lot of the boxes for it. Before you throw in the towel, start with her getting to a doctor for a proper diagnosis. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    You cannot kid yourself that someone who is violently, physically and verbally, attacking you is somehow a good mother at the same time. You've got to get your head out of denial of the reality you are dealing with. She is dangerous both to you and your child.

    If this all started only after giving birth, then the chances of untreated post partum are better than average. Thing is that post partum can be dangerous and even deadly in some cases if left untreated. This is not something to ignore or treat lightly. Google how many cases of women killing their children, families due to this issue going unaddressed.

    Please put your foot down that either she goes to a doctor (not some therapist, but doctor as in MD) and gets proper medical treatment or this marriage is over and mean it. You cannot continue to risk yourself and your child in this situation. If she refuses, then seek out a good attorney and start documenting all the abuse because YOU will need to take full custody to protect your daughter. Do not keep passively living in denial and playing with fire - the consequences are too dangerous.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It's been a tough road for both of you for awhile, seeing your other posts. I read this more as a vent than looking for advice. The first step is accepting whether there is a problem and the second is acknowledging whether you're willing (or able) to do anything about it. It may take you years to leave. I don't think you need to be told that this is extremely abusive and your child will be affected whether you both choose to stay in the marriage or separate.

    The choice ultimately is yours. You do need a lawyer if you choose to separate and divorce. Whether it's a road you want to take is personal and your choice alone. Your daughter does deserve a father who is of sound mental health and able to care for himself. I hope you do what's right for you - regardless of what that ends up being.

    I can't speak for anyone else but when I was going through the idea of separating I was lost too. I had to chart out and navigate new territory and during the separation it was also a new and exploratory (painful but necessary) experience. No two paths are the same and no one can judge you for your choices so if you're afraid of all that, dump that crap.

    You will come out of everything stronger as long as you stick to what you believe in so dig deep and start searching. Never underestimate yourself and what you have found weak in yourself will eventually be the strongest parts that make you who you are. The things you learn about yourself and your choices will create new paths for you in the future. I hope you find peace and learn to feel safe again.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
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    I constantly think of going out and finding someone else.
    - Well, no. You have been in a long term relationship.. to act out this way after all of that, you'd only basically be 'rebounding' I'm sure.. would do neither of you any Good!

    I wonder if it has changed over the past year- and your daughter is just a year? Could wifey had changed due to this change in your lives?
    Like she has lost herself?

    Of course you want someone who is NOT abusive towards you.

    I doubt this will last.. you dont want to remain in something like this :/.. she knows the hostility- kids arent dumb!

    Fine, if she is a good mom.. good! But you dont need to stick around for that... maybe is best to just separate now?
    No one said both parents can't remain involved in their childs life... I am sure you know MANY people who have had their parents split up.

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