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Thread: 12 weeks pregnant and i don't know what to do

  1. #1
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    12 weeks pregnant and i don't know what to do

    I met my boyfriend 5 years ago i had been through a lot in my previous relationship emotionally with the father of 2 children and he helped me see my worth strength and to find myself again, we were friends for 3 years of that as he was still in a relationship with the mother of his 3 children when we met but he was a great friend and support to me, 2 years ago he decided to leave her and we became a couple, at first things went really well but then he started controlling how I dealt with my kids dad their time with him my input in assisting him for example dropping my kids to their dad he said I was wiping his ass, he should collect his own children! It broke the relationship I had built for the sake of children and made things extremely awkward him asking to call my ex a record it so he could hear what we were discussing etc it caused many arguments on all sides and made my kids feel uneasy at times as I felt I had to be short with my ex infront of my boyfriend or he would get upset and distant with me. In October last year my boyfriends 6 year old daughter performed a sexual act on my 5 year old son which was reported to child services and quite frankly destroyed me in ways as my son is so unaware and innocent only being 5 at the time, I tried to get passed this putting precautions in place and keeping her away from him where possible but it has completely changed the way I look at her... I hate her for what she did and sometimes can't even stand to be around her! She acts older than she is had social media accounts lies amd is extremely devious but he always sticks up for her, he blames her mother and takes no responsibility saying she's a child I am over reacting but I can't get passed it or forget it, my daughter who is 12 is also repulsed by what she did and really has no like or time for her since the incident either which I completely understand. Everytime I say anything about her behavior he looses his temper and says im digging her out to cause problems but I see her ways he doesn't and isn't interested in listening, he wants us to all be a happy family which isn't going to happen as I can't trust her or even stand to be around her when he has her and her brothers, they have all been raised so differently to my 2 children and I can't habe my say when they do wrong. I have recently found out I am pregnant with his child 12 weeks and I'm not sure I can continue with the pregnancy amd be attached to him and his children for the next 18yrs or more i booked a termination but got scared and canceled it, I cant talk to him about how i feel as he just convinces me im being ridiculous he wants the child but I'm not sure I can go through with this for mine or my child's sake im so stuck with what to do as he gets angry sulks shouts and manipulates me, I know what he is doing but I'm scared for some reason to walk away, I think I love him in ways but he has taken my identity away I feel lost alone and slightly broken from the constant I get thrown at me, he is controlling and if things don't go his way I know about it yet he says it's me I'm controlling and I manipulate when I know its not me... my family and friends are always there for me bit making this decision to terminate the pregnancy behind his back is too much for me to handle but speaking to him about how I feel doesnt feel like a option as im scared how he will react. I was on my own raising my kids for 3 years a had strength a voice and I was happy now I just feel numb anxious confused and sad which has major impact on my kids too 😔 I need to find my power again before its too late and I commit to something I don't want but I don't know how

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Run from this man. A 6 y/o learned this from somewhere. The relationship is bad in itself with his condescending ways and interference with your and your kids father, raising your kids.

    As difficult as it is for you, an unplanned preganacy and being tied to this creep is terrifying. Get him away from your kids..
    Originally Posted by Lolly0611
    my boyfriends 6 year old daughter performed a sexual act on my 5 year old son which was reported to child services and quite frankly destroyed me in ways as my son is so unaware and innocent only being 5 at the time,

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Can you divide this into paragraphs please?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The window for editing is 30 min, but you can contact a moderator to do it for you.
    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    Can you divide this into paragraphs please?

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    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    You do know what you have to do Lolly. You must get away from this individual, and as quickly as you can. Why have you stayed so long in this utterly toxic environment? Read back your post. It is a litany of harm, abuse and sleaze.

    You said:

    "he helped me see my worth strength and to find myself again,"

    He did nothing of the kind! What he did was reel you in, and then promptly proceeded to devalue you in every way.

    You say:

    "im scared how he will react."

    You must seek help and leave, at once. Think of your children. You stayed another twelve months despite the incident involving your son in October 2019.

    This is beyond appalling OP.

    "It broke the relationship I had built for the sake of children and made things extremely awkward him asking to call my ex a record it so he could hear what we were discussing"

    You know you should have immediately informed your ex about the incident involving your five year old. Your ex is the father of that child!

    You are actually scared of this individual you are with!

  7. #6
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    The 6 year could have done sexual exploring which kids do or she is being abused herself . She is SIXplease remember that.

    Now whether you should stay together ? No.

  8. #7
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    He does not sound like a good partner or dad and you hate his child and this wonít work.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. Run from this man. A 6 y/o learned this from somewhere. The relationship is bad in itself with his condescending ways and interference with your and your kids father, raising your kids.

    My friends and family say the same thing so much tension has been caused for me and my kids dad I know your right thats the thing I just can't bring myself to actually do it for some reason. I feel weak i suppose which really isn't me

    As difficult as it is for you, an unplanned preganacy and being tied to this creep is terrifying. Get him away from your kids..
    Thankyou hearing this from someone else kinda helps and reassures me im not mad, he just constantly says im exaggerating, my kids especially my daughter has noticed how he has changed also shes 12 so I need to set a example for her of anything

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    The 6 year could have done sexual exploring which kids do or she is being abused herself . She is SIXplease remember that.

    Now whether you should stay together ? No.
    I Understand the exploring but not to the levels she did and on a 5 year old who had no idea what was going on.. exploring at 6 is not normal in my eyes and social services agreed, they investigated but were not concerned she was or has been abused... I've tried to help and get passed it but I don't trust her.... she continues to act in seductive and provocative ways on social media creating sly accounts and nothing is done about this.... im out of my depth as my concerns just get dismissed. He says im out to get her and catch her out when I just wanted to teach her it was wrong

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lolly0611
    I Understand the exploring but not to the levels she did and on a 5 year old who had no idea what was going on.. exploring at 6 is not normal in my eyes and social services agreed, they investigated but were not concerned she was or has been abused... I've tried to help and get passed it but I don't trust her.... she continues to act in seductive and provocative ways on social media creating sly accounts and nothing is done about this.... im out of my depth as my concerns just get dismissed. He says im out to get her and catch her out when I just wanted to teach her it was wrong
    Acting provocative at six IS a sign of abuse . Really, the children services investigating sound incompetent .

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