daddy issues, I guess

Daddy issues, mother issues, all go way back when. Some have been addressed, some have not. I have a very hard time making friends, I always felt like I didn't belong. I had friends during elementary school. I am pretty sure that I was just going through the motion n did what was, I thought was expected from me. I never wanted kids but I wasn't totally opposed to it, because my then husband wanted another child. He and his previous wifes share a daughter, all the visitation back and forth all worked out. It has a lot more, I am trying to condese as much as posxible, sorry for the non paragraph it just giving me a hard time here

I always wanted my mom and my dad.both. their approval, it never materialized. I can't make friends or even acquaintances. I have been myself. I have followed advice such as..hey, trying to engage in conversation, or whatever. Most people already have established friends , which is just a normal thing..They don't have time and space in their lives, to, now. cultivate a relation ship with a semi stranger

54 is not too old to make friends. It's a bit stymied with covid at the moment but have faith and some confidence in yourself. There's a lot of negative thinking in your writing. All of that has to change. Keep up your spirits by enjoying your hobbies and doing more of what you love.

I've learned that you don't need to seek approval from anyone as long as you know you're a good person deep down inside, know your achievements, accomplishments and whatever else you do well in life.

 

As for making new friends, are your faith based and religious? Churches are great places to meet and keep new friends. There are various ministry groups to join and subset groups.

 

And / or, volunteering in your community is a great way to meet empathetic type friends.

 

I've found that whenever I help the disadvantaged, I no longer feel sorry for myself and I start to count my blessings.

 

If you want friends, you have to be a go-getter. They won't come to you. You have to go to them and start somewhere.

Instead of focusing on others, how about focusing on yourself? What is it that you enjoy doing? What would make you have fun and feel better about yourself? You can't force a friendship to happen, so focus on being happy with yourself. Find an activity that you enjoy and throw yourself into it. Try volunteering. Hopefully you'll be to busy having fun to get down or depressed. And there is a chance you might meet someone with a similar interest and strike something up.

 

You never know what will happen or who you'll be friends with. It could happen anytime with random people you would never expect. Key is to not force it. Be happy with your life and when the situation arises, embrace it and go with the flow.

Instead of focusing on others, how about focusing on yourself? What is it that you enjoy doing? What would make you have fun and feel better about yourself? You can't force a friendship to happen, so focus on being happy with yourself. Find an activity that you enjoy and throw yourself into it. Try volunteering. Hopefully you'll be to busy having fun to get down or depressed. And there is a chance you might meet someone with a similar interest and strike something up.

 

You never know what will happen or who you'll be friends with. It could happen anytime with random people you would never expect. Key is to not force it. Be happy with your life and when the situation arises, embrace it and go with the flow.

.. Thank you. i am an only child,/ now adult. I have always been with myself only. I just feel no one likes me. And, they don't. I am non religious per see, but believe in god. Most churches I attend are way too traditional for me, I volunteer at our animal shelter it just seems as people are self absorbed, not exactly in a defensive way, They are just mentally full. Marriage, kids, work, volunteer, there just isn't any room for them to welcome someone into their circle. I joined a meet me local meet and was bombarded with and by idk, just people I had nothing in common with, And, I mean nothing.

You're probably more liked then you give yourself credit. I think we are our own worst critics and there are people out there who do like you. i'm sensing it's just not in the way you want, something deeper? I know where you're coming from. I have siblings but I'm the youngest and there is a 12 year gap between me and the next oldest. A lot of times it fault like they weren't really there, especially as I got older and they were moving out. I've also tended to just be quiet and shy by nature, not liking a lot of things people my age liked, and preferring to stay to myself. This has continued into adulthood. Plus, it can be difficult to meet people when they have their own lives - work and family takes up a lot of time for most people. I wish I knew an easy solution since it sometimes gets me done as well.

 

All I've been able to come up with is to just keep trying. Focus on staying positive and having fun on your own. It's fine to be sad once and awhile, just don't let that sadness control you. Be open to the people you do meet and see if there's any connection you can find with them. Even if it's not a deep friendship, I still try to make the most of what's there. And eventually you'll hit on something good with a person. I was fortunate to find one true friend who has been a lifesaver to me. Eventually, you'll find something too.

 

Hang in there. If you need to talk, I'm here.