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Thread: How to get out of a rut?

  1. #1
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    How to get out of a rut?

    I made a similar post describing my issue, but this one is a bit different. In case my other post hasnít been seen a priori:

    My girlfriend and I have been in a rut for the last 6 months and have been having much less sex. From my communication with her in the last 6 months has told me, she figures it involved the pandemic preventing her from doing a lot of the things she loves doing and causing us to spend all of our waking hours cooped up in our pajamas working, as well as my poor communication - complaining that Iím not having enough sex which has been putting more pressure on her.

    From what I know about her, sheís prone to anxiety, and this completely closes her off to sex. She is struggling, and I really want us to work out and recover from this. She seems willing to work on it for us to stay together.


    What should I do? She doesnít really know what will fix her. Iím trying to not pressure or complain anymore, but what else can I and/or we do? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She doesn't need fixing. You do. Get off the reddit toilet. Get a job. Stop mooching off her and her family.

    Stop begging for sex. Get out of the house and start helping out more. Take care of yourself sexually.

    Your sense of entitlement is from hanging around her parents house in your PJs being brainwashed by the reddit red pill hate groups that foster your " right" to get sex.

    She goes to school, studies, etc. You need to get a job get off your heiny and help out around her parents house.

  3. #3
    Gold Member East4's Avatar
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    Gendji, you are using your girlfriend's family for housing and board, and you also used to benefit of free sex with your girlfrind. You got a total package "bed & breakfast & sex", the dream of every mooch. And now that the sex is not there anymore you want your total package of benefits back. This family is not obligated to take care of you, you are not adopted. I very much doubt that you love your girldfriend, because if you did, you would have been ashamed to mooch off her and her family.

    Let me ask you a simple question: don't you feel ashamed to eat at the table with this family when they serve food, you knowing full well that you haven't contributed anything to the meal. Or I guess you sneakingly take trips to the fridge, or you send your girlfriend to fetch you some food in your room, so that it is not so obvious just how bad you mooch off this family.

    Every woman would lose attraction to a man who behaves like a helpless child adopted by her family. You do not display masculine behavior. This is why she is not physically attracted to you.
    It is not your d*ck that makes you a man. It only makes you a male. Masculinity is a trait of character and it relates to two main masculine capabilities-to lead, and to provide. Neither you lead, nor you provide. What you do is to be a parasite feeding off her family, and you dare complain that she does not put out anymore. You have been shamelessly self-serving, ungrateful and entitled.
    Oh tempores, or mores.

    Like wiseman said, get off your butt, leave their house and learn to take care of yourself without using other people.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Can you explain a bit more how this post is different from your last one? Did anything change? Did you find employment or have you both moved somewhere else?

    You'll feel more useful and purposeful if you're employed and have some idea of what you're doing or where you're going with your life. Avoid boredom at all costs. It plays tricks on the mind. I think you're creating problems where there are none - thinking something is an issue when it isn't. I'm not sure if anyone has suggested it yet but maybe it's a good idea for you to take yourself to the doctor and address issues with your mood and lack of motivation or interest in bettering yourself.

    You're focusing way too much on your girlfriend and placing too much importance on how she fixes herself. This is bordering on emotional abuse and manipulation on your part. Stop all that and start learning how to focus on you and what you need to do take care of your physical and mental health. Work on your career and keep yourself busy and sharp.

    This isn't the way to live. You're wasting away like this worrying about problems you're concocting in your head. Get out there and keep moving.

    After you've done all these things for yourself and uplifted your own moods and feel better about yourself and your purpose, if sexual intimacy is still not improving, this relationship may not be for you at all. At least you would have taken care of yourself in the process and you'd be better able to make a decision to move out/break up and you're able to support yourself. Do you see how it's all linked or how the dots are connected? Keep that focus on you and bettering yourself. It will all fall into place.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by East4
    Gendji, you are using your girlfriend's family for housing and board, and you also used to benefit of free sex with your girlfrind. You got a total package "bed & breakfast & sex", the dream of every mooch. And now that the sex is not there anymore you want your total package of benefits back. This family is not obligated to take care of you, you are not adopted. I very much doubt that you love your girldfriend, because if you did, you would have been ashamed to mooch off her and her family.

    Let me ask you a simple question: don't you feel ashamed to eat at the table with this family when they serve food, you knowing full well that you haven't contributed anything to the meal. Or I guess you sneakingly take trips to the fridge, or you send your girlfriend to fetch you some food in your room, so that it is not so obvious just how bad you mooch off this family.

    Every woman would lose attraction to a man who behaves like a helpless child adopted by her family. You do not display masculine behavior. This is why she is not physically attracted to you.
    It is not your d*ck that makes you a man. It only makes you a male. Masculinity is a trait of character and it relates to two main masculine capabilities-to lead, and to provide. Neither you lead, nor you provide. What you do is to be a parasite feeding off her family, and you dare complain that she does not put out anymore. You have been shamelessly self-serving, ungrateful and entitled.
    Oh tempores, or mores.

    Like wiseman said, get off your butt, leave their house and learn to take care of yourself without using other people.
    If this is accurate, I wouldnt have sex with you either. Get off your butt and become producctive.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    This is a high-anxiety year for most of us. I'd avoid making that all about me, and I'd pitch in wherever I have not been doing so. I'd quit expecting sex and appreciate that most people don't perform well under anxiety--and don't WANT to.

    If you want to help this situation, why not tell us all of the ways in which you're willing to do that?

    And then do them.

  8. #7
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    There is obviously more going on in other threads ..but to reply to this and this alone ......

    You said it started when covid started , then it stands to reason that it will end when covid ends ..I don't mean with a snap of fingers and all is well ....anxiety cripples ones mind .... can't say more then that ....it's that simple in my mind .

  9. #8
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    Some of the comments on here ....what the hell did he say on his last thread to cause this kind of riot , the things this bloke is getting called on here ....!!!!!!!!!!

    There is no wonder people never come back on .

    Ahhh someone has just put me in the picture .....ouch !!! not cool at all .

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    genji, you're leaving out the bits where you told her you'd leave her if she didn't give you more sex and what was it that you said to her about the bj?

    Pretty important stuff to delete, people won't get an adequate picture of it all with you leaving that stuff out.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    genji, you're leaving out the bits where you told her you'd leave her if she didn't give you more sex and what was it that you said to her about the bj?

    Pretty important stuff to delete, people won't get an adequate picture of it all with you leaving that stuff out.
    yeah exactly , I thought everyone was being nasty for the hell of it . Not cool to not have the full story because of deleted bits .

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