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Thread: I don't trust his single friends

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Once a liar, always a liar. Beware. You can't trust him and you'll never be able to look at him the same way anymore. This is the problem with lying. Trust is dead.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Your bf is a big liar, why are you with him? No trust=no relationship. Wake up, your bf is the problem, not Tom.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    Whenever we opt to accept someone as a partner, that's an 'as is' proposition.

    If we try to 'accept' someone even while we seek to change them--or their relationships with their family or friends or exes or job or whatever, that means we don't really accept them.

    So it makes no sense to pretend that you accept BF when you really don't.

    You get to decide whether you'll prolong this misery for yourself and BF, or whether you'll recognize a need to make better choices for a better match going forward.

    Head high, we all live and learn through our mistakes.

  4. #24

    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    This is a bit of a late reply, but I came across your thread and your BF sounds very much like my ex, down to the best friend.

    My ex also had a best friend like Tom. Perpetually single and chasing women, going to nightclubs with my ex, would even flirt with me in front of my ex. All through this, my ex let it happen because he was in awe of his friend and did anything he wanted.

    Turns out the problem was my ex, not his friend. He also turned out to be a snake, manipulating and gaslighting me and believing he was doing nothing wrong by flirting with other women, going out to clubs with his single best friend without me, having emotional affairs with his female coworkers. My ex had also told me “I could just lie to you and you would never know.”

    If your bf is dismissing your concerns and doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, there’s nothing you can do. Take it from someone who’s been there. If your bf took your concerns seriously and if Tom was really such a bad influence on the relationship, he would distance himself or cut him off. His friendship with this toxic guy is more important than his relationship with you. It won’t change unless your BF realizes there’s a problem.


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