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Thread: I apparently ruined something for my ex

  1. #1

    I apparently ruined something for my ex

    My ex and I broke up back in July because (I think) he was just no longer happy. I completely understand that, and while we no longer talk much, I thought things were amicable between us. We've talked once and I thought it went well enough.

    But I made the mistake of looking at my ex's Twitter for the first time in 3 months and apparently I ruined travel for him. We didn't travel much in our three years together because we're both on a budget and he didn't seem to enjoy it. But I always enjoyed exploring things with him and I thought he enjoyed it too. But his Twitter feed mentioned that I'd ruined travel for him. Now I just feel like a jerk :( I have no idea how I did it and I feel awful somehow ruining something that can be so fun and interesting. Also I never knew he felt that way (but of course he would never tell me).

    Not really looking for advice, just a hug. I am well over him at this point, which was why I was able to look at his Twitter. None of what was in it bothered me at any level except for the fact that I ruined something for him. Boo :( I must be good at ruining things.

  2. #2
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    This is about him. Someone who stoops to that level and gossips like that on twitter -please. Hugs!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. What did he specifically state? It's time to delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Don't scan or follow any of his social media.
    Originally Posted by summerland5
    My ex and I broke up back in July because (I think) he was just no longer happy.

    his Twitter feed mentioned that I'd ruined travel for him.

  4. #4
    Thank you. I went on his Twitter because I'm at the point where romantically I could handle anything on there. But since we parted on amicable terms and (when we have had contact, which is once in the last three months) I didn't expect to see that I had ruined anything for him! It's more about me, because I have been accused of ruining things before, and it makes me feel sad that I could do that to someone again, especially someone whom I cared about. He didn't call me out specifically, just said that "my ex ruined travel for me." It was an ouchy moment! I wouldn't have cared about much but that one stung, mostly because I would not have expected that of him.

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  6. #5
    I hadn't looked at his Twitter in three months and do not plan to again at this point! it was silly of me to even wander on. I am over him at this point but I was not expecting to see that I ruined something. We had a very respectful breakup and the very limited interaction we've had since was also respectful and kind.

    We have no other contact on social media, etc, nor have we ever, and that's for the best.

  7. #6
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    Perhaps he said it out of anger? Regardless, Iím sorry he felt the need to air out his dirty laundry.

    Hugs

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    It was tacky of him to put that on social media. It should make you realize that breaking up with him was the right thing to do.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    OP, you or I or anyone really, we mere mortals do not have the power to ruin something for someone else on such a grand scale. You can be a jerk and ruin a trip, but you can't ruin travel at large.

    So no, this isn't about you, it's about him and the fact that the dude has issues you weren't aware of. Your break up is kind of a bullet dodged as you are finding out now that he was harboring resentments he wasn't sharing with you. Instead he was putting on a facade that left you thinking that all is well...... This comment he made was rather vindictive and manipulative. So please, don't guilt trip yourself or internalize this as your problem, because it really isn't. Also, don't ever go checking on his social media again ever. This guy is a case of good bye and good riddance.

  10. #9
    So no, this isn't about you, it's about him and the fact that the dude has issues you weren't aware of. Your break up is kind of a bullet dodged as you are finding out now that he was harboring resentments he wasn't sharing with you. Instead he was putting on a facade that left you thinking that all is well...... This comment he made was rather vindictive and manipulative. So please, don't guilt trip yourself or internalize this as your problem, because it really isn't. Also, don't ever go checking on his social media again ever. This guy is a case of good bye and good riddance.
    Yes and yes! This is what struck me. I had NO IDEA he didn't enjoy doing these things. He was a very open communicator (or so I thought). Now I'm learning that he was maybe not as open a communicator as I had thought.

    I will no longer be checking his social media. I hadn't before this and I figured ya know, I'm over him and yet as a person I'd like to know he's doing well. No need for that anymore, honestly. It was surprisingly unlike him to do, so need to see more of that.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He's just insecure unfortunately. I agree with Sarah - this is your confirmation that the break up is final and necessary. Onwards and forwards! (So glad he's off your ship.)

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