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Thread: My SO told me to get the f**k out his house at 2 am...

  1. #11
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Imagine having children with him Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Compatibility issue? This man is abusive, he shouldn't be anywhere near a woman. He has no respect, no manners and treats them awful.

    They way he spoke to you, you shouldn't ever want to speak to him again. Raise your standards!! This guy is terrible.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    He definitely has a history of anger. he kicked you out before.

    You are kidding yourself that you don't know why he acts this way. It is his coping and dealing mechanism.

    if you forgive and forget. it basically tells the other person its acceptable behavior.

    I know we want them to realize how much we were hurt so that they never do it again.

    Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. most of the time anyway. these rages or cheating or lying or whatever the abuse is, is normal behavior to the people that do those things.

    The anger, the instant unfollowing, the whole "you're dead to me, get the **** out etc routine is also very telling.

    A grown up doesn't handle things this way with their love. They respect their love and even when they are really angry, they don't go there. Think about that. Do you want to normalize getting tossed out in the middle of the night?

    Ever hear the saying "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."?

    in my life? There is no way I'd deal with his crazy butt. Move on. You are right. men should he raised to have a broader emotional range then zero to anger. Unfortunately, many people-- not just men were not raised to deal and cope with their feelings. Anger is their go to emotion.

    see this a a blessing and find someone better suited to you.

  4. #14
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I would be gone period.

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  6. #15
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    If he hasn't physically abused you as of yet, it's only a matter of time before he does,(imo). Please don't feel you're an exception to the rule... you're not.

    It's high time to make a choice before it's too late.

  7. #16
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    Yikes!

    Please have higher standards for yourself. Nobody should disrespect you in such a way! Once they do, please leave. You need to be single until you can find out why you pick such toxic men.

    There’s a pattern to what we do if not intentional. We become accustomed too being treated a certain way we subconsciously seek it out in another person. It’s a vicious cycle you can heal from. Get a therapist and find out the source of you putting up with this. Once you learn the value of yourself you’ll find people who value you.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    This was very hard to read. Please take care of yourself and leave this person.

    You were only together for two years. Let it stop right there. Move on with your life and learn the signs of someone who controls, abuses and manipulates you. I believe Wiseman hit the nail on the head by saying he constantly wants the upper hand. Your life will be a constant tug-o-war, of fights, blow ups, walking on eggshells and eventually you won't believe anything he tells you. Leave now while you are not married.

    It won't make sense right now because you have those love-blinders on and you feel attached. Give yourself a few months with nothing to do with this person and you'll suddenly realize how peaceful and calm and light your life has become without the constant threat of something going wrong or him losing his temper. These are all threads leading to the same place and you're not seeing it. Don't let this person pull you down. If you've felt sorry for him (he mentioned that's how his dad raised him), don't. There are a lot of sorries in this world. Don't be sorry all your life. Let go.

    Now that you've left, where are you staying? Don't move back in.

  9. #18
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    Why are you picking baby names with a guy you aren't going to marry? I know -- because he threw raw chicken and destroyed a score board and slow dancing, talking about kids, etc, reels you back in. Forget this loser. Block his number and change your locks if he has a key

  10. #19
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
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    He has pretty bad communication issues.
    - Yeah, he is pretty messed up, I say.

    “I told you that you could leave in the morning but you want to be dramatic, as usual”
    - Wow, that's low. :(. he is pretty brutal when he is MAD.. eh?

    As we’re eating were talking about raising kids. He tells me he’s going to raise his son differently than the girl. He goes on to say if he gets bullied and starts to cry he tell him to stop because, “I don’t want a crybaby ”.
    I turn to him and tell him that’s unacceptable and boys need to be able to express themselves. How most men are taught not to express themselves which tends to lend itself to unhealthy relationships. He responds with how he’s not a bad guy and his dad raised him that way.

    - I think THIS is why he is the way he is. He fails to accept or even realize he has some faults- or he does know of them but this is him.

    Is this what you want in a Man??
    Someone who cannot handle themselves & their moods, etc?
    One who is so critical towards his partner?
    One who has shown you how he would treat his child?

    AND, He is all over the place! Why you would once again discuss things like 'your kids'? ( after just spending once weekend back with him- after you two had broken up) - Because HE is fake.

    This type of person you do NOT want.

    Stay away- do not play head games with him.. Just stay away!
    For your own peace of mind.

    Focus on YOU for a good while.. accept you are done with this- and maybe continue therapy to work through all you have been through with someone like this.

  11. #20
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    This sounds beyond bad. Honestly even just all the comments about having a son would have actually made me end it. Because I would have realised that our beliefs and values are totally incompatible. So therefore what's the point to keep dating? I'm exactly the same as you. I want kids but I don't really believe in gender roles. I've seen first hand what men repressing their mental health and emotions can do. One of my exists repressed everything and he killed himself. If I had a son, I would encourage him to express and show his feelings and emotions in a healthy way. I would teach him how to communicate openly and to never be ashamed to be sad or cry. If my partner said all the stuff, not allowed to cry, suck it up, etc. I would not continue the relationship.

    Regarding his other behaviours. He is abusive and just sounds like a horrible human being in general. And very emotionally unstable and has anger problems. Which is so obvious by the way he threw the chicken, etc. and kicked you out in the middle of the night for nothing. He doesn’t sound like a healthy individual at all. Don't waste any more time on him.

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