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Thread: Relationship hijacked by traumatized client of more than 10 years

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by nutbrownhare
    Some of the most messed-up people I know are clinical psychologists; I knew them before they did their training, and I sometimes wonder how effective they are in practice.

    I so agree! Maybe, this is what attracts them to the field.

  2. #22
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    "To Billie28: I agree that it would look pretty bad if I would force a family intervention, but objectively I am a concerned party who really just wants the best for her, even without me in her life and after what happened. And I did have an independent relationship with her mother and her brother and his girlfriend as well. Problem is that her mother and brother are really conflict avoidant. I just can't imagine that I would not stand up stronger against my daughter or sister if I would see her treat somebody close to her this way. Plus I would reach out to that person and really try to figure out what is going on with my family member.Ē


    Sorry OP but thatís rubbish and you know it.
    If you want the best for someone without them in your life , then go sponsor a child in a third world country who would appreciate it.
    Ruth has no care in the world what you do as long as it doesnít involve her.
    She does not want your intervention and actually it would be wrong of you to intrude upon her and her family dynamics.

    Her family have known her , her whole life , their reactions are based on that.
    Who are you to tell them , they are wrong?

    Families often have one that doesnít conform despite the same upbringing.

    Back off and realise that you canít change anything.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sleeuwe
    I agree that it would look pretty bad if I would force a family intervention, but objectively I am a concerned party who really just wants the best for her, even without me in her life and after what happened.
    Sorry, but there's nothing 'objective' about your position. You're grasping, and it'll be obvious to anyone you opt to involve. Skip that, and reach instead for your best dignity. If you want help for your Self, then hire it, but leave your ex out of it.

    You WILL thank yourself later.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Sorry, but there's nothing 'objective' about your position. You're grasping, and it'll be obvious to anyone you opt to involve. Skip that, and reach instead for your best dignity. If you want help for your Self, then hire it, but leave your ex out of it.

    You WILL thank yourself later.
    This is so true CF.

    OP- many times I have listened to friends or acquaintances regarding their break up. And a lot of times, they will impose their importance on the ex's situation. You know what I mean? like they know better for the person, than the actual person.

    if you were still a couple, sure your opinion may hold some weight. However, 9 times out of 10, we make assumptions about what is happening and its not what is happening.

    every person in this situation, not only has their own perspective, they are living and acting within their life. Its like checking your ex's social media 6 months later to find out they are now with someone else.

    In your mind its one thing but to them its something different. That's why you have to move on for yourself.

    It might be bad moves on her part, but o well. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

  5.  

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