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Thread: 15 Years Later I Still Hangout with my Ex

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Ok talking to this old flame about your current GF situation sort of puts you in the friendzone.
    Originally Posted by wildlife97
    I have been long distance with my current girlfriend for over a year now. Even my ex is suggesting we break up.
    Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    If you're in a relationship, long distance or not, it makes no sense to position your ex in a front row seat to watch your capacity for disloyalty. End it with the GF if you want out of that, and then you can operate as a free agent--an ethical one.

    Otherwise, even if you 'win,' you lose, because it will take about 5 minutes to occur to your ex that you're trying to promote her from the one who you're disloyal 'with' to the one who you're equally capable of being disloyal 'to'.

    Not a good look.

    Grow a pair. From there, you'll have options. Before then, you'll just come off as a wimp who's too afraid to let go of someone's apron strings despite unhappiness.

    There can be no 'love' without respect. If you want respect, behave respectfully and respectably.

  3. #13
    Silver Member ShySoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Where love guides our hearts and actions
    If you are in a relationship, handle that relationship first. It is not fair to any of the three of you to pursue something until you have worked out your relationship. You need to really look at how you feel about your girlfriend and if you two can work out whatever issues have come up. You should also take a look at yourself and make sure you are comfortable with who you are. If things don't work out with your girlfriend, make sure you aren't just rushing to any relationship to fill a void. That wouldn't be fair to your friend either.

    If you have honestly worked through your current relationship and yourself, and you still feel attracted to your friend, pursue it. If you have been friends this long, there is a reason. She basically asked you to pick her up, take her to dinner, and come over. Not necessarily as a date, but it sounds pretty like one. You both clearly enjoy being around each other. So why wouldn't you give it a try? Even if it didn't work out, you've survived rough times before and remained friends. So you would survive this. But you won't know what will happen unless you try.

    Oh, and I wouldn't worry about her just seeing you as a friend. Being friends is the foundation of a good, healthy relationship. I've seen plenty of friendships blossom into more. I've seen old flames remain friends and rekindle a romance. And I personally was involved with someone who just started as a friend and who was actually helping me work on an issue I was having with another girl. You never know what can happen.

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