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Thread: Been a while and now back in dating game

  1. #1
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Been a while and now back in dating game

    So I have put dating off so far this year due to the whole Corona virus thing and just recently started deciding to date again. I met this girl online and we exchanged a few messages over the course of a week and then I decided to ask her out...... we met at had a great time.

    That was two weeks ago. She had an event to go to the weekend after that so I didn't bother making any arrangements for another date.

    Now I have to admit that since that first date I have broken the number one cardinal sin of dating on here - too much texting. We've been pretty much texting each other every day.

    So yesterday Wednesday I decide to ask her out for this weekend. She said she'd love to go out again, but she might have some plans for doing something with her cousin and she'll check and see and get back to me on a day that should work. So I said okay, that's fine.

    Well today (Thursday) we exchanged a few more texts and she didn't say anything about a day or whether she's checked on anything with her cousin.

    So at this point what are my options?

  2. #2
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    Well I think give her one or two more chances and see if she will actually catch up again. To be honest yeah she doesn't sound extremely keen because when people are interested, they want to have dates consistently. And the fact that she's being vague about making plans is not great. Personally I don't like someone who texts too much because I like my space. If someone texted me really constantly, it would probably scare me away. Maybe just text only every couple of days and don't seem too available. Also go on dates with other women so that you have more options. Don't take it too personally either if it doesn't work out. Most online dating doesn't lead to anything and it's not anyone's fault.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Give it another day. If your calendar is full or you're not keen on seeing her, make other plans. You can't make anyone answer you. The only thing you can do is see what you'd like to do on the weekend, with or without her. Ie. her response or no response isn't going to ruin your weekend. You get to decide how you want to enjoy it.

  4. #4
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    I agree with what you said and I'll give it at least tomorrow while going ahead and just preparing to enjoy the weekend no matter the outcome.

    As far as the texting thing..... I have to admit that she is a professional texter haha. Always ends a text with an interesting question that leads on to more conversation (which in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing) when coupled with at least time spent also getting to know each other in person. At this point I just don't wanna feel like I'm dating my phone or forming a texting buddy!

    Well we'll see what happens tomorrow and how things go

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    Which day on the weekend did you ask her to meet?
    Friday, Saturday or Sunday?
    Were you specific on a day?
    If you werenít but loosely said the weekend I would assume sheís not interested or better put not that interested.

    Since tomorrow is the weekend , if she gets back to you I hope you will have already made alternate plans?
    Because you cant keep your entire weekend free just in case she wants to meet?

    So my advice would be not to ask her again for this weekend, make your own plans assuming she isnít going to say yes to meeting and if she does do that , suggest the next weekend.

    Too bad for her!

  7. #6
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Which day on the weekend did you ask her to meet?
    Friday, Saturday or Sunday?
    Were you specific on a day?
    If you werenít but loosely said the weekend I would assume sheís not interested or better put not that interested.

    Since tomorrow is the weekend , if she gets back to you I hope you will have already made alternate plans?
    Because you cant keep your entire weekend free just in case she wants to meet?

    So my advice would be not to ask her again for this weekend, make your own plans assuming she isnít going to say yes to meeting and if she does do that , suggest the next weekend.

    Too bad for her!
    You are correct my friend,
    I said this weekend without committing to any one particular day to give more options in case one particular day wasn't going to work for her.

    The other thing is she knows that I work on Sundays. I don't start work until closer to 6pm so technically while I could possibly do a date meet-up on Sunday (would require doing something entirely different than what I had in mind) my preference would be for Saturday (a day we both have off).

    At this point I'm guessing *IF* I hear from her today, it would most likely be her saying she could meet up either tomorrow (Saturday) or Sunday.

    But I think the writing is on the wall for this one and all I have to do is read it. Like someone said up above, some times these things just don't workout for one reason or another and it's okay. We only just went out once at this point. The part I don't understand is the whole keeping constant communication for a whole 2 weeks after the first date. That's just too much energy & effort to be exerting on someone you wouldn't wanna see again.

    Just to add - when I sent her the text asking her out I made sure it was the only question I asked so that if her reply was a maybe then I was going to just reply with a "ok, let me know when you have a better understanding of what your schedule looks like" and that was going to be it from my end until she gets back to me

    BUT what she did was very smart, when she replied back with "I would Love to do that (insert smiley face) Let me check on plans I may have with my cousin & I'll let you know what day works best."
    She immediately followed that up with a text asking multiple questions to extend conversation further.......

    At that point I couldn't really do much of anything but to reply and carry on the conversation as usual without coming off looking a certain way.
    Last edited by cingularity83; 09-25-2020 at 07:54 AM.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, one-and-done dates are common in online dating. If she is 'too busy", then just keep talking to and meeting others. The ball is in her court.
    Originally Posted by cingularity83
    She said she'd love to go out again, but she might have some plans for doing something with her cousin and she'll check and see and get back to me on a day that should work. So I said okay, that's fine. So at this point what are my options?

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    Hi OP!

    Iím sorry to be blunt but I donít think sheís as interested. Usually when people are interested they are more specific with their plans. They donít just leave it up in the air they want to lock in dates so they donít lose you.

    I just wanted to be honest so you donít wait for her. Thereís other girls to date this weekend. Remember you met her once youíre not exclusive with her. So it doesnít hurt to keep options open.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cingularity83
    At that point I couldn't really do much of anything but to reply and carry on the conversation as usual without coming off looking a certain way.
    You seem pressured to answer her questions. I don't think either of you are on the same page. She may not be mature enough or she's talking to different people or she's not interested. If you aren't feeling heard, this isn't the person for you. I don't think she's a good texter at all. I hope you get to enjoy the weekend without this sort of frenzied, confusing communication. Surround yourself with people who are calmer and more confident about themselves.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Hi OP!

    Iím sorry to be blunt but I donít think sheís as interested. Usually when people are interested they are more specific with their plans. They donít just leave it up in the air they want to lock in dates so they donít lose you.

    I just wanted to be honest so you donít wait for her. Thereís other girls to date this weekend. Remember you met her once youíre not exclusive with her. So it doesnít hurt to keep options open.
    I agree. Also I always liked when the guy asked me for a specific day or gave me specific options.

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