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Thread: Been a while and now back in dating game

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    As to what I would've done, if I were into a guy, I would've immediately called my cousin to confirm our tentative plans and then right away get back to the guy to set the date, either that weekend or the next. If I wasn't into a guy, I'd tell him I didn't feel enough chemistry on the first date and wish him well.

    But everyone's different. When I did OLD, I did cut off guys who went too long in texting and emailing without asking for a date. Come Monday, that's what I'd do to her if she ignored the elephant in the room. Either you could just block and delete or tell her you're on the dating app to date, not to be texting buddies with anyone. If she was so rude as to not come through with what she said she'd do, getting back to you, you don't owe her an explanation. I did OLD and had to go on dates with about 30 men before I found a winner. It was frustrating, but worth it in the end. Take care.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    She is texting several other guys and might have a first meet with one of them this weekend so since she already met you she wants to check out her other options but not loose you as one of them hence the texting to keep the string tight.

    Follow her lead and keep messaging other women and see what happens. If she initiates a text convo with you simply tell her: "Hi ________, I really enjoyed getting to know you in person so I would like to cut back on the texting so when we meet again I can get to know you in the real world" This cuts the string a little and gives her the incentive to meet you for a real date again.

    If she loses contact with you she will wonder what you are up to and be more apt to want to meet again whereas if you stay in contact everyday through text she knows you are still interested so she can take her time as she samples other things on the menu.

    It is dating and unfortunately there are strategies or games that need to be played. I wish it wasn't that way but I have learned the women that are special get so much attention online it is way to easy to get lost in the crowd.

    In the end you have little to lose by leaving the door open while you keep looking. Don't wait around, don't postpone plans hoping she will say yes and next time set a firm day and time when you ask a woman out. If she is interested and she is busy she will propose another day/time.

    Thicken that skin and keep swinging for the fence

    Lost

  3. #13
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    well an update for you guys

    I just received a text from her saying that she wanted to check back with me for this weekend and see if Sunday afternoon would work as far as us getting together because she's going to be seeing her cousins tomorrow.

    I haven't replied back yet with anything as I'm trying to first gather my thoughts and consider what to say, and most importantly how to say.

    I could possibly meet up with her Sunday afternoon since I don't have to be in at work until 5:30pm (she knows I work by the way)
    and probably might not be able to do whatever it is I had planned for us to do depending on how early/ late her definition of afternoon might be

    On the other hand I also don't want to set a precedence for this kind of thing early on either since we essentially "teach" people how to treat us......

  4. #14
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lostandhurt
    She is texting several other guys and might have a first meet with one of them this weekend so since she already met you she wants to check out her other options but not loose you as one of them hence the texting to keep the string tight.

    Follow her lead and keep messaging other women and see what happens. If she initiates a text convo with you simply tell her: "Hi ________, I really enjoyed getting to know you in person so I would like to cut back on the texting so when we meet again I can get to know you in the real world" This cuts the string a little and gives her the incentive to meet you for a real date again.

    If she loses contact with you she will wonder what you are up to and be more apt to want to meet again whereas if you stay in contact everyday through text she knows you are still interested so she can take her time as she samples other things on the menu.

    It is dating and unfortunately there are strategies or games that need to be played. I wish it wasn't that way but I have learned the women that are special get so much attention online it is way to easy to get lost in the crowd.

    In the end you have little to lose by leaving the door open while you keep looking. Don't wait around, don't postpone plans hoping she will say yes and next time set a firm day and time when you ask a woman out. If she is interested and she is busy she will propose another day/time.

    Thicken that skin and keep swinging for the fence

    Lost
    thank you for the words of advice, there is a possibility that's what's happening here (and it's cool).
    I'll just have to do as you say and be more "matter of fact and firm" when making plans

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Suggest a time and place and have fun. Don't play games if you're interested in her.
    Originally Posted by cingularity83
    I just received a text from her saying that she wanted to check back with me for this weekend and see if Sunday afternoon would work as far as us getting together

  7. #16
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    As to what I would've done, if I were into a guy, I would've immediately called my cousin to confirm our tentative plans and then right away get back to the guy to set the date, either that weekend or the next. If I wasn't into a guy, I'd tell him I didn't feel enough chemistry on the first date and wish him well.

    But everyone's different. When I did OLD, I did cut off guys who went too long in texting and emailing without asking for a date. Come Monday, that's what I'd do to her if she ignored the elephant in the room. Either you could just block and delete or tell her you're on the dating app to date, not to be texting buddies with anyone. If she was so rude as to not come through with what she said she'd do, getting back to you, you don't owe her an explanation. I did OLD and had to go on dates with about 30 men before I found a winner. It was frustrating, but worth it in the end. Take care.
    Thanks for the words of advice,

    if I were into a guy, I would've immediately called my cousin to confirm our tentative plans and then right away get back to the guy to set the date, either that weekend or the next

    Yea I understand what you mean. Even if for nothing else more than just to show someone that you have a respect for their time.

    I've learned long ago that just because I have certain standards about certain things doesn't necessarily means that other people will always be that way with me. I guess it's been a while so I have to sharpen up again haha

  8. #17
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    "Great!, Let's meet for lunch and then go ___________." Take some control back since you have to work and have some time constraints. Don't be wishy washy and know what you want to do and where you want to meet for lunch and then activity.

    Lost

  9. #18
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lostandhurt
    "Great!, Let's meet for lunch and then go ___________." Take some control back since you have to work and have some time constraints. Don't be wishy washy and know what you want to do and where you want to meet for lunch and then activity.

    Lost
    Hey thanks for the advice, Hereís what I was going to send back

    A good afternoon to you!

    Iím open to doing Sunday afternoon,
    Just keep in mind that I do have to work.

    So if we could meet up at like 1pm that would be perfect!

    Hereís the location where weíll be meeting at
    (Insert blank) and afterwards can grab lunch.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I don't like the "just keep in mind". You sound like a school principal. Just say 1 pm is great but you have to leave at 5 for work. Are you inserting a pin drop or a google map link? Surely she can figure that out herself?

  11. #20
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I don't like the "just keep in mind". You sound like a school principal. Just say 1 pm is great but you have to leave at 5 for work. Are you inserting a pin drop or a google map link? Surely she can figure that out herself?
    Okay thatís fair criticism....
    Certain words can be interpreted differently by different people

    However Iím not going to send a text saying insert blank.... I did it that way to post on here
    In the real text Iím giving her a link to the address....

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