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Thread: Why I can't get over my husband porn use?

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Irene8179
    To be honest I heard that's a bad thing and could lead to other things. I'm open to try new things but I wouldn't think I would do that.
    Just curious what you feel it could lead to . I have never had any problems with watching porn or my men watching porn , or watching it together . But .....if I am getting neglected sexually and porn is the preferred option then I would have a problem .

    Seems to be one of those things , people are either ok with it or they are not and there doesn't seem to be a solution other then to realise it is too big a difference in what you want in a relationship .

    Just re read and realised you have been together 18 years ... I thought you had just met , my bad , my post was more relating to people just starting out and realising one likes blah blah and one doesn't . Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #22
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    i have never had any problems with watching porn or my men watching porn
    oh BESCUSE ME???

  3. #23

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    I don't honesty think I'll ever be OK with his habits but I'm willing to work on it. I've heard that it could lead to affairs and one being too intralled with the ideal that the wife allows it their for take full advantage of the situation and neglect my needs. I make myself available to him and I feel threatened because when he does choose to watch it most likely he's preference is porn . so I guess I'm just being cautious because he says he only watches it occasionally but what how much honestly idk he doesn't like me asking him because we've already talked about it before.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    oh BESCUSE ME???
    Just keeping you on your toes .....we all know I am a one j woman

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Hahahaha, "my men", Pippy! That cracked me up.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Irene8179
    I don't honesty think I'll ever be OK with his habits but I'm willing to work on it. I've heard that it could lead to affairs and one being too intralled with the ideal that the wife allows it their for take full advantage of the situation and neglect my needs. I make myself available to him and I feel threatened because when he does choose to watch it most likely he's preference is porn . so I guess I'm just being cautious because he says he only watches it occasionally but what how much honestly idk he doesn't like me asking him because we've already talked about it before.
    Your distrust is going to push him away. I think everyone has offered a lot of insight so far. Marital counselling might help both of you best. You have to work on the distrust you have and your own insecurities. Your marriage may be unravelling slowly even though you love each other.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Hahahaha, "my men", Pippy! That cracked me up.
    hahah wish I could do laughy faces ... sat in my jim jams watching married at first sight Australia and not a man in sight ( well obviously the j man ) but talk about busted hahaha

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Irene8179
    I don't honesty think I'll ever be OK with his habits but I'm willing to work on it. I've heard that it could lead to affairs and one being too intralled with the ideal that the wife allows it their for take full advantage of the situation and neglect my needs. I make myself available to him and I feel threatened because when he does choose to watch it most likely he's preference is porn . so I guess I'm just being cautious because he says he only watches it occasionally but what how much honestly idk he doesn't like me asking him because we've already talked about it before.
    I don't know if it gives you any reassurance , but I am middle aged and porn has been on the go a very long time and I have never known it lead to any affairs . Is it possible you are getting these stories from people who are a little na´ve and judgemental .

  10. #29
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    OP.

    You mentioned this a few times:

    " My insecurities get the best of me."

    Perhaps you need to look into the basis for these insecurities.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This is why it would be best to seek marriage counselling. Right now you are running on myths and right-fighting. There is no right/wrong. You don't have to like/watch porn. But you also can't control and monitor your husband like a child and expect that to help assuage your fears.

    You are choosing porn as the reason you feel unhappy in your marriage, dissatisfied with your sex life and afraid of losing him. Those are much more complex issues than "if I fix/stop his porn issue, our marriage, sex life and I will be all better and I'll be happy". Marriage therapy will help you a lot more than these misguided DYI fixes.
    Originally Posted by Irene8179
    I've heard that it could lead to affairs

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