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Thread: Why I can't get over my husband porn use?

  1. #11
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    its popular to say "porn is healthy!" but its really not. He is hiding his viewing of sexy women rolling around and masturbation, but yet your sex life is in the dumper. I am betting he doesn't have a healthy view or expectations about what real sex and intimacy is due to viewing porn from when he was young. I don't think you are wrong.

    I don't think you need to look at it as you having a hang up because he is watching this-- rather, i think you two need to reconnect. He agrees to no porn, you agree to be not so caught up in the kids -- go on a date night and DO NOT talk about the kids, fix yourself up for him, etc., Maybe go away for a few nights and leave the kids behind. maybe periodically do that. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Irene8179
    We have opened a lot and got better at communication I feel like he doesn't understand me .
    In your view or from your perspective, what can he do on his end that demonstrates to you that he does understand?

    This:

    Our sex life hasn't been the greatest


    And this:

    he loves me and he performs well sexually


    Are contradicting each other. He's trying to make you feel good already but you're still not satisfied. What would make you happy?

  3. #13

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    Thankyou this is something we should talk about. We both agreed to make more time for eachother

  4. #14

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    I forgave him for the times I found his porn because he hid from me he even promised me he wouldnt watch it but the fact was he always did he just hid it well. Recently it came to light again and then hearing all this from him that we need more intimacy because we weren't having sex enough and several occasions he asked of me and I just didn't do my part as a wife to satisfy his needs he went to porn. I guess I can't figure out where we went wrong in all and I feel threatened that porn could actually come between us . he says to him its just their and its no meaning.

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  6. #15

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    Yes we both agreed to spend more time on us

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Irene8179
    I forgave him for the times I found his porn because he hid from me he even promised me he wouldnt watch it but the fact was he always did he just hid it well. Recently it came to light again and then hearing all this from him that we need more intimacy because we weren't having sex enough and several occasions he asked of me and I just didn't do my part as a wife to satisfy his needs he went to porn. I guess I can't figure out where we went wrong in all and I feel threatened that porn could actually come between us . he says to him its just their and its no meaning.
    Do you feel like you'll ever get out of this porn problem or be able to live with it? Or are you asking him to give it up completely? What are you asking exactly? Do you know what you want? I'm asking out of curiosity.

  8. #17

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    I don't want him to be watching it because he has me . he feels he doesn't have to stop because he feels theirs nothing wrong with occasionally watching it. He says before I didn't know about it I was happy and now that I know he watches it I don't like it. I feel threatened and my insecurities get the best of me. He gets upset when I ask him if he's watched it like he doesn't want to talk about it

  9. #18
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Would you consider watching some porn with him? It could be something that can add spice to your bedroom fun?

  10. #19

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    To be honest I heard that's a bad thing and could lead to other things. I'm open to try new things but I wouldn't think I would do that.

  11. #20
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    I really think a therapist / counsellor is the best way to go so you can both reach a mutual agreement with this so both parties can be happy.
    I don't agree with what some are saying that it is unhealthy and wrong.
    Also, you say that he shouldn't need porn etc when he has you. It is human nature to still find others attractive / sexually appealing etc even if you are with someone.
    To me, porn is part of that and won't lead to cheating. But just my opinion. We all have different boundaries and ideas on what is acceptable in regards to this.
    Please seek advice and counselling regarding this. If he doesn't want to then go alone.

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