Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: My ex cheated on me

  1. #1

    My ex cheated on me

    Just found out my ex cheated on me. We broke up 1 year ago and now the grief is back. How do I approach this.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,443
    How did you find out?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,736
    Gender
    Female
    You've been broken up for a year. Why do you care?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    2,124
    It sounds like perhaps you never grieved the relationship?
    Have you been clinging onto hopes of reconciliation?

    What do you mean by how to approach this?

    Do you still have ties to your ex? A child to him?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,732
    Gender
    Female
    You approach this as confirmation beyond doubt that you are better off without him and that indeed the break up was the best thing for you. Losing a cheater is a blessing. You can now move on knowing for sure that you lost nobody special and that he was not your one.

    You also need to approach this as confirmation that keeping tabs on him and digging in the past delays healing and moving on. It's time to delete and block him from your present. As you have discovered, seeking information about him delays healing and brings the grief back. You need to stop acquiring new information and leave him in the past. Good luck.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    23,305
    How long did you date? How did you find out?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    2,236
    Gender
    Female
    I get it, it's another blow to your self esteem....the breakup that keeps on hurting. Just process it, and be grateful it ended. Could have been worse, you still with him and finding out he's cheating on you. Good thing this A hole is out of your life.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    4,257
    I can't imagine how painful this, regardless of how much time has passed. I would be shattered also. That time you spent with someone would have been special in its own way and if it was monogamous there's an agreement to be faithful. I can only echo Clio. Keep putting distance between yourself and the past and telling yourself that it's over. What happened then or what continues happen now is not part of your present narrative. It does not define you. What you were then was you but it's not you now and it doesn't define you in the future or how you wish to direct the rest of your life.

    You can continue to go on and life past all that and enjoy more joyful and rewarding experiences.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,977
    However you feel is how you feel. This doesn't change anything.

    With that said...
    I tend to look at these types of 'revelations' from the past as further evidence that I was lucky to get out when I did. And to not out too much thought into it.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,977
    However you feel is how you feel. This doesn't change anything.

    With that said...
    I tend to look at these types of 'revelations' from the past as further evidence that I was lucky to get out when I did. And to not out too much thought into it.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •