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Thread: You find a condom wrapper under the bed and he confesses that it's his ...

  1. #41
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I think if you stay in communication you run the risk of "hoping" he'll change his mind about you.

    Do you think that? Because he wants you to stay in your life, did a little voice inside your head say "Maybe he wants you in his life because deep down inside he sees you as relationship material"?

    I wouldn't stay in contact because you feel, in your own words, he is an "idiot man child". Why stay in touch with someone you think poorly of?

    And no, I don't think it's childish. If you don't want to remain in contact, don't! And who are you afraid of looking childish to? Him? Who cares what he thinks? Do what's right for you. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #42
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    I have found all of the advice here incredibly helpful...even the stuff that was hard to admit.

    One last question. Since I left things on a good note with him, I never said one word in anger and he asked me not to disappear from his life. He actually sent a message saying that he hoped time would bring us together again. I still feel disgusted and I want to delete him from all social media. I think any further communication with him will be toxic for me. Is that childish?
    No, it's not childish at all, it's actually healthy for you and you matter. It's that simple.

    Of course a player, aka Mr. Freebird, will tell you bs like he wants to stay in touch, he doesn't want you to disappear, etc. He already duped you once or twice and found you vulnerable to his charm and his bs, and people like that don't just let go and go away. He'll try and try again to break down your boundaries if you don't block him. For him, it's all a game and he goes hardest at those who have given in before, aka weak target, low hanging branch. Unfortunately, your number is now in his black book and that's not a flattering thing. Only way to get yourself deleted is to delete him and keep it that way forever. Anything less will just put you back in the rotating stable of women he fcks - not exactly a flattering or a desirable place to be.

  3. #43
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    I have found all of the advice here incredibly helpful...even the stuff that was hard to admit.

    One last question. Since I left things on a good note with him, I never said one word in anger and he asked me not to disappear from his life. He actually sent a message saying that he hoped time would bring us together again. I still feel disgusted and I want to delete him from all social media. I think any further communication with him will be toxic for me. Is that childish?
    Regardless of fault or blame, this person/situation has moved you to 1) feel humiliated with yourself, 2) feel so humiliated that you needed a quick exit (you couldn't think of spending more time with him on a planned visit), 3) made you feel worse having to couch surf after leaving early and 4) call him an idiot man-child.

    Why on earth would you want to continue speaking to someone whom you dislike so much? I think you need to stand up for yourself and stop worrying so much about what other people (including this man) think of you. The situation was no good and you didn't like it. I think there was a bit of an 'Oh sh-t' moment in there when the lightbulbs flew on and you realized what he was and your blooper too in the hours and days to follow but it doesn't mean that you get twirled around and wrapped up in his suave and sexy rhetoric all over again.

    Cut this person free. You could be meeting so many other more valuable and wonderful men in the process without having to sell yourself short.

  4. #44
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    No, it's not childish at all, it's actually healthy for you and you matter. It's that simple.
    Thank you. You are so right.

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  6. #45
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    I can't see any reason to stay in touch when you know you don't want the same things from each other.

  7. #46
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    I think any further communication with him will be toxic for me. Is that childish?
    You are doing the right thing by being honest with yourself that this isn't the type of relationship you want.

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