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Thread: An update on my saga

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    You canít remain friends with when someone has romantic feelings. It doesnít work.
    That could be true, but I'm worried that may be a generalisation.

  2. #12
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jas76
    That could be true, but I'm worried that may be a generalisation.
    Nope, it isnít.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Nope, it isnít.
    Okay, I'll give that some thought.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jas76
    I see. Yes, this is a very tricky situation. I really care about her, and don't want to cause her immense heartache. There is also a likelihood, albeit in my opinion, that she will never find a successful relationship, or any relationship again, especially when one considers her maladaptive behaviour and her age. On the flip side, her behaviour is driving me absolutely bonkers, and is really putting me off relationships altogether.
    How is her not finding a relationship your issue to deal with? So you are going to remain attached to her so she will have someone she is romantically involved with? That doesn't make any sense when you claim not to have romantic feelings for her.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    If you care about her like you claim, then be kind and cut the cord.

    What you are doing right now, trying to hang on to the part that you like which is friendship and contact, is very cruel and selfish - you are literally stringing her along. There is nothing kind or nice about that. Please stop being a jerk and let her go for real. Also, stop making excuses for why you "can't". You can, you are choosing not to, it's just not for the noble reasons you proclaim. Try being a bit more honest with yourself, it will help.

  7. #16
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    If you care about her like you claim, then be kind and cut the cord.

    What you are doing right now, trying to hang on to the part that you like which is friendship and contact, is very cruel and selfish - you are literally stringing her along. There is nothing kind or nice about that. Please stop being a jerk and let her go for real. Also, stop making excuses for why you "can't". You can, you are choosing not to, it's just not for the noble reasons you proclaim. Try being a bit more honest with yourself, it will help.
    I second this post.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Jas76
    I hear you, but people can remain friends can't they?
    In this case? No, it isnít possible.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    How is her not finding a relationship your issue to deal with? So you are going to remain attached to her so she will have someone she is romantically involved with? That doesn't make any sense when you claim not to have romantic feelings for her.
    It shouldn't be my issue, but I really don't like hurting people, especially people I care about.

    I am trying to avoid anything sexual with her at all costs, especially after all the drama that ensued (she is still showing absolutely no remorse). I suppose I have one foot in the relationship and one foot out. I'm not sure the whole situation is healthy.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    In this case? No, it isnít possible.
    That's not exactly what I wanted to hear.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    If you care about her like you claim, then be kind and cut the cord.

    What you are doing right now, trying to hang on to the part that you like which is friendship and contact, is very cruel and selfish - you are literally stringing her along. There is nothing kind or nice about that. Please stop being a jerk and let her go for real. Also, stop making excuses for why you "can't". You can, you are choosing not to, it's just not for the noble reasons you proclaim. Try being a bit more honest with yourself, it will help.
    I'm still not convinced blocking her and just ignoring her forever is the way to go.

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