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I feel terrible about this


Anonymous 26

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I'm 17. Five months ago just as lockdown in my country started, I initally started casually talking to this girl I knew. When I first saw her (before I started talking) I thought she was about 14, but I found out she was younger, I thought 13. When we were talking I admitted I found her attractive, I thought she was developed for her age, I said how when I first saw her I thought she was much older and she felt the same. She tells me it was the same with other boys Nothing really happened. Then out of the blue she asked me out. It messed with my head especially when she revealed she wasn't even 13 yet (a month or so off). She even wanted to know if I'd do sexual stuff with her , which is when I told her no way. But I feel so guilty about even feeling like this in the first place. It's made me feel awful. It's made me feel dirty. I don't even know why I felt like that. I don't know what to do. What is there to do? It happened a long time ago, and in the eyes of the law, I haven't actually done anything wrong as I didn't send naked pictures or ask for any , didn't have any kind of sexual contact , anything. Am I overreacting?

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You did nothing wrong. You didn't lay a hand on her and you didn't go out on a date with her.

 

Please forgive yourself.

 

Just so you know, I am in my 50s and I sometimes see attractive men in their early 20s and think, wow! But it's just a thought. Nothing to beat yourself up about.

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She was 12 when you met her? I sure hope you didn't do anything with her or you could end up in jail. Assuming you did nothing with her, as you say, you have no need to feel bad or dirty. You didn't do anything! From now on, find out the age of the girl at the beginning, be sure you know she's not jail bait. Yes you are over reacting.

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You are OK. She lied to you...but when she told you the truth, you said no way! That means you have a high standing of moral values. If this was a police sting to draw out pedophiles, you wouldn't be a suspect. You both are teenagers, you found her attractive...so what. You didn't do anything sexual, or suggest anything sexual, so you are ok. BUT let this be a lesson to you, that them young girls like her can get you into some trouble.

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I feel like though that I shouldn't have said anything even when I thought she was 13. That still too young I think. I see that now and I think I knew it at the time. She tells me a lot of other boys have thought she is older as if I am being honest, she is quite developed for her age physically which is misleading

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If you're sexually attracted to her and struggling with your feelings for someone who's 12-13, distance yourself as much as possible and don't hang around her anymore. You've mentioned several times how developed she is for her age. You're shouldering a lot of guilt and I think it's because you're attracted to her regardless of whether you did anything or not. Stay busy with your schoolwork and hang out around other people at school who are in your grade.

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Even if she looks like a young woman, she's still playing with dolls. She just wants to feel grown up so flirted with you. You did the right thing stepping away. Stay away from troubled teens and coquettish little "Lolita"s (google it)

I feel like though that I shouldn't have said anything even when I thought she was 13. she is quite developed for her age physically which is misleading
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