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Thread: My future MIL has cancer...

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Let her and her family and doctors manage it. Stop trying to micromanage your fiance and his family.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    While I agree with you to a certain degree, abit, I have gone through the chemo treatment in support of two of my very close friends. It's no walk in the park.

    It's very upsetting and very scary the first few treatments and to see how you, as a person, are going to react. Some react violently, some are stronger to endure the chemo, but for all, there are side effects.

    There is also no guarantee how it will actually go. I doubt this young couple wants the thought of mom being six feet under and knowing they left her at such a crucial time.

    I agree with what some of the others said above, you will have the rest of your life to take a honeymoon together and to go when the time is right.

    Leaving mom when she's about to embark on one of the worst times in her life, doesn't seem like the right time.

    Just my two cents.
    I am sure they could go away for two nights vs a full trip and still be there for mom. But bottom line, the fiance should lead on whether he is comfortable with going away or not. its his mom. She said "she will be starting chemo" - does that mean she would be starting the day after their wedding, a week later etc. They need a break before going into the role of caregiving to kick off their marriage. They are not her only relatives - she has a daughter, its possible she has good friends who could drive her or sisters, brothers. I get she needs help, but there will be weeks and months to help mom. I have a relative with lymphoma and it doesn't go away depending on what type it is -- if its the type you can live with for years, it will go for periods of being and bay and not.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    While I agree with you to a certain degree, abit, I have gone through the chemo treatment in support of two of my very close friends. It's no walk in the park.

    It's very upsetting and very scary the first few treatments and to see how you, as a person, are going to react. Some react violently, some are stronger to endure the chemo, but for all, there are side effects.

    There is also no guarantee how it will actually go. I doubt this young couple wants the thought of mom being six feet under and knowing they left her at such a crucial time.

    I agree with what some of the others said above, you will have the rest of your life to take a honeymoon together and to go when the time is right.

    Leaving mom when she's about to embark on one of the worst times in her life, doesn't seem like the right time.

    Just my two cents.
    I am with Sherry here. I would have stayed and been there for my MIL during that time (it's not like it's every day) regardless of the fact whether the daughter wants to be there or not... And believe me, that will bring her so much joy and comfort and you will be contributing to her recovery too.... And then, you can have a more relaxed honeymoon later...

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