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Thread: I donít know if I should divorce my wife.

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    She knew what she was getting into. This is a part of the culture.

    The important part, is that she cheated, has an STD, and will not communicate with him. I do not understand why he is becoming the bad guy.
    What is a part of the culture? The poster living with his folks? We don't 100% know if he doesn't have it. Since he just got the call, she would of had to meet with the doctor. And since she's not talking to him, why would he know to call if he didn't know she had an appointment? And they would never ever give results like that by phone in the US. They always make you come in to talk about it and get medication or talk about options.

    And why would the wife stop talking to him completely if it's all about where they can live? I think we may be missing information from the OP.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. Doctors do not call and tell him this or that he doesn't have it. Police also Never ever say, 'don't call us'. It sounds more like she fled and he's anxious about that.
    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    they would never ever give results like that by phone in the US. They always make you come in to talk about it and get medication or talk about options.

    And why would the wife stop talking to him completely if it's all about where they can live? I think we may be missing information from the OP.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    What is a part of the culture? The poster living with his folks? We don't 100% know if he doesn't have it. Since he just got the call, she would of had to meet with the doctor. And since she's not talking to him, why would he know to call if he didn't know she had an appointment? And they would never ever give results like that by phone in the US. They always make you come in to talk about it and get medication or talk about options.

    And why would the wife stop talking to him completely if it's all about where they can live? I think we may be missing information from the OP.
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Agree. Doctors do not call and tell him this or that he doesn't have it. Police also Never ever say, 'don't call us'. It sounds more like she fled and he's anxious about that.
    ...oookay...first of all, yes doctors offices discuss result over the phone all the time. That is quite common. Second, HIPPA laws exclude immediate family members, insurance providers, other connected healthcare providers, or anyone at all that the patient gives permission to disclose info to. In this case, OP is both immediate family and had explicit permission. Doctor's office was well within rights to discuss the test results with him.

    Regarding the cops...making frivolous calls and abusing police time for frivolous disputes can lead to actual hefty fines if the cops decide it's warranted. If they deemed that their time was being abused for private vendetta, quite frankly just telling those people off was really kind. They could have issued a fine. Yes, cops will not file any reports and otherwise will warn off people who are abusing their time. Again, normal and common.

    Please stop trying to make the OP out to be something he is not. He sadly married a woman he'd known for 5 years even though he was warned she is a disordered cheater. That doesn't make the OP, the bad guy here. It makes her....unprintable..... and people like her aren't known for having scruples. Let's just say she got caught red handed and now the OP has to deal with the fall out. He is the victim here, not the cheating bimbo who is hiding away now that she is caught out.

  4. #34
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    I'm in New York. And in the 40+ years, they have never told me on the phone my results especially for any positive result. They always make me come in for things. So, maybe in Texas, but sure as hell they don't in New York or Maryland, where I've also lived.

    I have called the cops on my MIL several times and I don't press charges only file a report, and never once do they say don't call. In fact, my hubs called about someone running over the brush pile, and they said it was good he called. Cops don't dismiss domestic abuse calls like that. In fact, they stick around to make sure the niceness isn't for show.

    We are only hearing his side - not hers. If there is no history of violence, why did they think to call the cops in the 1st place? Something doesn't add up.

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    What is a part of the culture? The poster living with his folks? We don't 100% know if he doesn't have it. Since he just got the call, she would of had to meet with the doctor. And since she's not talking to him, why would he know to call if he didn't know she had an appointment? And they would never ever give results like that by phone in the US. They always make you come in to talk about it and get medication or talk about options.

    And why would the wife stop talking to him completely if it's all about where they can live? I think we may be missing information from the OP.
    Some of the Asian culture. This is not uncommon. She knew she would be living with his parents. he was doing his best to get the other house in order.

    As she does not speak English, the doctor's office called him. I too, live in NY, the doctor's provides me with all info, as my mother signed a release.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    I'm in New York. And in the 40+ years, they have never told me on the phone my results especially for any positive result. They always make me come in for things. So, maybe in Texas, but sure as hell they don't in New York or Maryland, where I've also lived.

    I have called the cops on my MIL several times and I don't press charges only file a report, and never once do they say don't call. In fact, my hubs called about someone running over the brush pile, and they said it was good he called. Cops don't dismiss domestic abuse calls like that. In fact, they stick around to make sure the niceness isn't for show.

    We are only hearing his side - not hers. If there is no history of violence, why did they think to call the cops in the 1st place? Something doesn't add up.
    Your limited personal experience doesn't change the actual rule of law, which is not quite as you understand it. HIPPA is federal law, btw, so it doesn't matter what state you are in. You aren't even citing law, you are just citing your personal experience with individual doctor's offices - completely their choice how they handle things and nothing to do with HIPPA anyway if they tell you in person or over the phone or even mail the info. All completely valid options.

    As for police, it is entirely up to the officer's discretion whether to treat it as honest concern or as malicious abuse of police power. The latter can and does get people in trouble....Karens beware. Virtually all jurisdictions have laws to punish and keep in check individuals who call in maliciously. Again, whether a call is malicious or misinformed is going to be up to the officer's judgment. Generally, cops will give callers the benefit of the doubt due to overall public safety interests. If the cops in the OP's case didn't give those people the benefit of the doubt, it means that the call was so blatantly malicious in nature that the cops actually felt that these people need to be warned about that kind of behavior and told not to try that again or else they will get in trouble with the law themselves.

  8. 09-09-2020, 04:18 PM
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  9. 09-09-2020, 04:37 PM
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  11. 09-09-2020, 06:44 PM
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  12. 09-09-2020, 06:50 PM
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  13. #37
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Mod Note: Please be respectful of the opinion of others, and avoid engaging in personal arguments.

  14. #38
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    Honestly, why would you not have had a place to live, even if it was a small apartment, for your new wife to come home to? If mom and dad can't afford the house without you, you will pay for them after you move out, too??? As long as the kitchen and one bathroom was workable in your house next door, why did you not move in, and maybe have fun as newlyweds picking things out in the house together even if you have to be rustic? Or only go to mom and dad's to use the oven? Sounds like a lot of stress, but she's not the one causing all of it unless she cheated.

  15. #39

    Sympathies with you

    It is so sad to hear this

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