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Thread: I donít know if I should divorce my wife.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by help48
    The Doctor told me because I am authorized on her account because she doesnít speak English very well.

    Another thing is before she came. Someone in Vietnam messaged me and told me she was cheating on me. She asked me to trust her and I did.

    I donít think she understands how it looks

    I also feel like when I text her, itís not her talking to me. I think she lets her relatives talk for her.
    Why are you texting as a means of communication? Pick up the phone and CALL her or go see her and talk to her in person.

  2. #12
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    Sorry I don't mean to be rude but unless you speak pretty good Vietnamese then how do you actually communicate with your wife if she hardly speaks English? To be honest your relationship just sounds like an arranged mail order bride situation. If you have a big language barrier obviously the relationship is kind of superficial because you can't talk to each other properly. It's not excusable but this may explain why she's cheating on you. Because she doesn't actually love you and she only married you to live in the US. If someone already told you she was cheating and now there's the chlamydia situation, very likely she was actually cheating. Having said that you may still be the baby's biological father. I mean if you were equally having unprotected sex with her then it can also be you. Definitely a good idea to get a paternity test. Then once you know if you're the father or not, you can make decisions from there. If you're not the father then sure you can divorce your wife and let the other guy deal with it. If she was stupid enough to be having an affair and use no protection either. In that case there's not much sympathy for her.

  3. #13

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    One thing Iím embarrassed about is her relatives called the police when we having the argument. Nothing happened when the police came. They didnít even make a police report. The police told her relatives not to call them again.

    Iíve asked her if I could talk to her in person but she doesnít answer. Iím afraid to go to see her at work because Iím afraid her relatives will call the police on me.

    Iíve told the attorney to proceed with the divorce.

  4. #14
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    Question answered

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    "Iíve told the attorney to proceed with the divorce."

    Best course of action in this nightmarish scenario, OP.

    Next time round please marry the girl next door!

  7. #16
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    How is it a doctor spoke to you about an STD? That is against the law.
    He already explained it and no it's not against the law when the patient gives permission.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    He already explained it and no it's not against the law when the patient gives permission.
    I saw it after I posted. See above. I do this for my mother and so I am aware of this.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by help48
    One thing Iím embarrassed about is her relatives called the police when we having the argument. Nothing happened when the police came. They didnít even make a police report. The police told her relatives not to call them again.

    Iíve asked her if I could talk to her in person but she doesnít answer. Iím afraid to go to see her at work because Iím afraid her relatives will call the police on me.

    Iíve told the attorney to proceed with the divorce.
    Given all that, I'd say divorce is your only sane option here. Be sure that you lock down all your credit cards, credit info, banking, etc. Put a freeze on all of it today. Once she gets served, expect fireworks and be ready for it ahead of time. Make sure she cannot open anything in your name or wipe you out financially and run back to Vietnam where you can whistle for your money.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    IMO, adults need to plan for their elderly years without relying on financial help from children, so if they can't afford their house, they should sell it and downsize, moving into a place they can afford. Yes, there can only be only one queen bee in the hive, so it's no surprise these sorts of issues arose. What was your plan when the other house if fixed up and you move into it? How are your parents affording to live where they do without you paying rent? Would no local woman date you since you live with your parents, and that's why you thought to do a LDR relationship? Apparently, the LDR relationship didn't offer the knowledge about her you needed to know to be making such a major decision as marriage and bringing a child into the world.

    What are you willing to do to save the marriage? Counseling? Moving into an apartment or expediting fixing up the house next door and moving in? Now that there is a child involved, if you are biologically the parent, you need to do what's best for the child, and that means not taking him/her away from his/her mother with full custody. If it's not your child, perhaps divorce is a possibility, but if she gets a green card regardless of the divorce, you will be financially responsible for her for 10 years besides child support, as per the legal papers you signed for her to come to your country to marry you. It's probably in your best interest to stay married if she is not a cheater, so counseling will probably be the only way for you two to learn to communicate more effectively. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
    This is ingrained in the Asian culture. I have a couple of friends who live with their parents and are the main source of support. If this girl is from Vietnam, I am certain she she lived in the same situation.

    OP, I am sorry that she cheated on you. This is a horrible situation. How far along is she in the pregnancy?

    What country are you living in?

  11. #20

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    I live in the USA. She is about 16 weeks.

    She did live with her parents in Vietnam.

    The divorce canít be final until February because of child custody.

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