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Thread: Why do I get emotionally attached too soon and how do I stop?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that. Depression is a medical problem that needs appropriate reassessments and follow up care. That means you need to see a physician and therapist.

    Stop blaming your parents, or homegrown attachment theories, etc.

    The social withdrawal, ruminating, inertia and low moods should be evaluated.

    Crushes and living on the outside looking in indicates that you would like to feel better but haven't sought out or found appropriate help.

    That's the first step. After a couple of months of appropriate treatment it won't feel like you are plodding through quicksand.

  2. #22
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    Introvert who gets anxious in social situations as well. So I feel you. I've also found myself talking with a lot of fellow introverts who feel similar to you. The thread I've found is that they spend more time seeking external validation and berating themselves for being how they are. Instead of looking for affection outside, I think you need to focus on just being happy with you. It's easy to sit back with Youtube, but it doesn't make you feel better. Think about what it is you love to do, and do it. Volunteering is a great start. Check with an organization that interests you and see if there is something online you can do. They still need the help, there just having to figure out new ways of doing things themselves. Once you are feeling productive and happy with yourself, you won't be so focused on what others think. You won't need the emotional attachment so badly because you'll be getting that fulfillment internally. And when you do that, it tends to light a spark in you that others can notice. It can actually draw people to you.

    You've got everything you need within you. At the end of the day, you are the one who has to love yourself and be okay with you. Affection from others is nice and can help, but we are the ones that make our own happiness.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by FenixReborn
    Introvert who gets anxious in social situations as well. So I feel you. I've also found myself talking with a lot of fellow introverts who feel similar to you. The thread I've found is that they spend more time seeking external validation and berating themselves for being how they are. Instead of looking for affection outside, I think you need to focus on just being happy with you. It's easy to sit back with Youtube, but it doesn't make you feel better. Think about what it is you love to do, and do it. Volunteering is a great start. Check with an organization that interests you and see if there is something online you can do. They still need the help, there just having to figure out new ways of doing things themselves. Once you are feeling productive and happy with yourself, you won't be so focused on what others think. You won't need the emotional attachment so badly because you'll be getting that fulfillment internally. And when you do that, it tends to light a spark in you that others can notice. It can actually draw people to you.

    You've got everything you need within you. At the end of the day, you are the one who has to love yourself and be okay with you. Affection from others is nice and can help, but we are the ones that make our own happiness.
    Thank you for this. I feel so stuck, but this made me feel heaps better knowing there's a way out of it although it might be hard to even take the first step.

  4. #24
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    I can tell you without going into my story (which I have talked ad nauseaum elsewhere on this site) Getting to emotionally attached has happened to me. Also betting emotionall attached does not mean you were or were not seeking a sexual relationship. For me I had to hit rock bottom and go into therapy. Things are better in so many ways but there are still major issues.. I wish you all the best

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