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Thread: Why do I get emotionally attached too soon and how do I stop?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It seems natural to me if you have a lot in common with someone. It depends on your age and experience. Those two will usually give a person more information earlier on, ie. 'reading between the lines' or being able to decipher information that is unspoken long before it comes to the surface.

    Be gentle with yourself and take things in stride.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Do you have an active social life?
    I don't. I'm an introvert and struggle with social anxiety, so its been rough.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Go slower. Really get to know a person's character thoroughly before plunging into a relationship. Shop around.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    do you jump from one relationship to another, or have you spent some time alone and single?

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    do you jump from one relationship to another, or have you spent some time alone and single?
    I've spent too much time alone and single, I think that's the problem. When someone shows interest in me it's like a whole new world of emotion has opened up.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by decibelx
    I've spent too much time alone and single, I think that's the problem. When someone shows interest in me it's like a whole new world of emotion has opened up.
    What do you do with your time when you're single? I learned to challenge myself to make new friendships, take on new hobbies and have other interests. I got so good at it that when the opportunity to date and possibly to have a relationship happened, my life was so full I wasn't sure if I could make room for one.
    It also made me more discerning about my choices. I didn't decide to be in a relationship to fill a void or to feel complete. I also know that I wouldn't stay in a bad one out of fear of being lonely. I know my life outside of a relationship is just as good as inside of one.
    It's also tied to your attachment style and the type of relationship you had with your parents growing up.
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 09-08-2020 at 10:26 PM.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by decibelx
    I don't. I'm an introvert and struggle with social anxiety, so its been rough.
    I think that id you had some sort of social life it would improve your self esteem. Have you considered volunteering or Meetups? You need to make more of a effort.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    What do you do with your time when you're single? I learned to challenge myself to make new friendships, take on new hobbies and have other interests. I got so good at it that when the opportunity to date and possibly to have a relationship happened, my life was so full I wasn't sure if I could make room for one.
    It also made me more discerning about my choices. I didn't decide to be in a relationship to fill a void or to feel complete. I also know that I wouldn't stay in a bad one out of fear of being lonely. I know my life outside of a relationship is just as good as inside of one.
    It's also tied to your attachment style and the type of relationship you had with your parents growing up.
    Right now my time is mostly spent on coursework, which of course gives me no joy whatsoever. In my free time I just watch movies and spend time on YouTube, so yeah I should probably look into a more productive hobby. Just have to figure out what I like doing cause I've been stagnant for so long due to depression. 100% agree on your last point-- my attachment style is likely anxious due to my parents being emotionally negligent.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I think that id you had some sort of social life it would improve your self esteem. Have you considered volunteering or Meetups? You need to make more of a effort.
    I was looking into joining the volunteering club on campus, but their activities have been altered a bit cause of Covid. Will join regardless.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    What kind of course work do you do? Are there chapters or student associations?

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