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Asking out masseuse


MrL1990

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I know, I know, from the title i reckon alot of people would already come to an answer but I'll explain the situation anyway!

 

So I've been visiting a massage therapist I found on gumtree, probably about every couple of weeks when coronavirus allowed atleast! From the first time I saw her she could tell I was shy (tbh though I was amazed at how hot this eastern European lady was standing in front of me! She also offered happy ending so was probably quite nervous of this aswell, but that's where her 'services' end). Even so we got on really well, first couple of times it was general talk and I was enjoying the massage, maybe 3rd of 4th time up until now (maybe 10 visits later) we seem to just talk for the whole hour, obviously shes still doing her thing but she will talk about more personal (family type) stuff, and also will turn a little bit flirty, both ways. We dont seem to have any issue making conversation and probably enjoy this more than the massage itself!

 

On maybe the 4th or 5th visit I'd mentioned to her I'd had some back pain and she recommended something I should use, I text her after the massage asking what the name of it was again and she sent a picture of it on WhatsApp but placed between her legs, definitely put a smile on my face! Since she messaged me on there I've been using WhatsApp to arrange a massage rather than text, and a couple of the times I've tried to visit shes been on holiday but has still had a chat and sent me a couple pics, even a couple of her by the pool in a bikini, shes quite flirty though so don't know how much to read into this 🤷🏼♂️. The messages would only really be instigated by me and she'd reply (albeit quite brief but think this is possibly the language barrier, however it doesn't seem in a way to end the conversation), although more recently she'd actually messaged me to ask how I was (recently damaged my arm in an accident so having to rest) but guess this shows she thinks about me, or am I just being hopeful!?

 

I've probably rambled on far too long but feel like it's a bit of a strange situation for me, firstly with not having that much experience of dating and asking girls out, but also trying to draw the line in my head where shes just being professional and potentially where it might be that she's genuinely interested in something more? I know the fact that she offers happy ending may be enough for some people to come to a conclusion with this one but this really is where she draws the line, no touching is allowed. Shes also mentioned shes been offered extra money for other services but its always a definite no and I get the impression she stops seeing the client if they suggest it!

 

Any help is appreciated as I've come to realise I need to know where to go with this. I think about what to do quite alot but never seem to know which way to go, although I know which way I'd like to! So any opinions are helpful

 

Thanks in advance!

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OP, if she offered you a happy ending, she isn’t really a massage therapist but a prostitute. A professional message therapist doesn’t include any sexual contact nor any reference to it.

 

She’s trying to entice you to purchase further “services.” Telling you she doesn’t do these things is part of the plot to scam you into thinking you’re special so that when she does pitching “extras” to you, you’ll buy it. She might not even sell them to you, but get you giving her money for other things (a new phone, money for rent, etc) while you think you’re just being a great guy for this hot new girlfriend who’s a wild one in the sack.

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Thanks for your response. I understand where you're coming from but to me she seems quite genuine (I'm normally quite good at sniffing out BS when I hear it), it probably sounds as though I'm trying to warrant my own interest/feelings but as a response to the extras thing surely this would've come up by now after around 10 visits. I mean it can't be that hard for her to realise I'm interested in her, so if that's what she was after she would've probably instigated it by now.

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She also offered happy ending so was probably quite nervous of this aswell, but that's where her 'services' end)

 

Trust me, there is no way she was nervous offering this "service", she has offered this to every guy who has walked in.

You are reading way too much into this, she is looking for more payments from you, not a relationship

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She also offered happy ending so was probably quite nervous of this aswell, but that's where her 'services' end)

 

Trust me, there is no way she was nervous offering this "service", she has offered this to every guy who has walked in.

You are reading way too much into this, she is looking for more payments from you, not a relationship

 

My bad on this one, I should've out 'so I was quite nervous of this aswell', can see how that can be misconstrued!

 

I'm seeing theres an underlying opinion here and obviously I need to be more careful than I anticipated, thanks

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I know the fact that she offers happy ending may be enough for some people to come to a conclusion with this one but this really is where she draws the line, no touching is allowed. Shes also mentioned shes been offered extra money for other services but its always a definite no and I get the impression she stops seeing the client if they suggest it!

 

If she was only trying to get money for her "services" why would she indicate that she turns down those services? Has she actively tried to get you to give her anything beyond payment for the massage? Yes, she would be classified as a sex worker due to the "happy endings." But not all sex workers are out to take your money and take advantage or you. It's a job, true. But, it's possible she actually does get along with you and enjoy your company. You should still tread carefully, but don't rush to judgement about her.

 

Another thing to consider is how you feel about her position. If she is offering a happy ending to you, she's offering it to other customers. Are you comfortable with that? Even on the off chance everything is on the level and you two hit it off, would you be okay with her continuing this line of work?

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Look I don't want to say that it's completely impossible this woman finds you attractive but you also have to be realistic. Even if she didn't offer the happy ending, she's a freelance masseuse and she really wants to have a client base and to keep making money. She knows she's a beautiful woman and that she can use it to her advantage and to keep the clients coming back. My chiropractor is a hot guy and he actually has a girlfriend but he's a bit flirty with female customers because he knows it helps with his business (he owns his own practice).

 

The fact that she offered happy ending does mean she is an adult/sex worker of sort. It's like there was a guy writing on this forum once who kept going to a stripper and he was in love with her and thought she was into him. Because she was so sweet and flirtatious to him all the time. But when he actually asked her out she rejected him. Because these flirtations and sexyness is actually just part of her job as an adult worker. Whether you like it or not this masseuse is an adult worker. I'm sure she has other male clients and she does give them hand jobs because it's part of her service. It's not like you're special and you're the only guy she offered it to.

 

I think if she actually wanted to kiss you or sleep with you, she would offer it, even for money. Sending bikini pictures is just her way to make sure you're hooked and you'll keep coming back as a customer. It's not like she starts conversations with you, you always start them. If she actually liked you she would start too and show interest in you as a person. Not just chat about massaging and bikini shots. She might also be sending bikini shots because she's hoping you'll get so turned on that you'll start paying more for happy endings. I mean look you can ask her out to see the response but personally I doubt she's actually into you. It's just her job.

 

By the way one of my friends is a sex worker and she told me how she has to act like she's really into her clients and she likes them etc. if she wants to get business.

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If she was only trying to get money for her "services" why would she indicate that she turns down those services? Has she actively tried to get you to give her anything beyond payment for the massage? Yes, she would be classified as a sex worker due to the "happy endings." But not all sex workers are out to take your money and take advantage or you. It's a job, true. But, it's possible she actually does get along with you and enjoy your company. You should still tread carefully, but don't rush to judgement about her.

 

Thanks for your reply. I think it may have come up because I was trying to imply something but can't 100% remember, when she mentioned about it though it seems she has a very firm line she draws and she said it's so she can still have healthy relationships outside of her work. I remember the 1st time I met her she was asking general stuff such as any brothers and sisters etc and whether I had a girlfriend, I pretty much asked the same things back and she said she did have a boyfriend but changed the subject quite quickly. I since get the impression this is a guise to fend off any new clients looking to make things awkward, as from other things that have come up it seems like she definitely doesn't have a boyfriend currently.

 

As far as extra payment though, no, this has never been mentioned, even on past visits where an hour appointment has overran by 10minutes theres never been any expectation of anything extra or even my next appointment being shorter/worse service.

 

 

Another thing to consider is how you feel about her position. If she is offering a happy ending to you, she's offering it to other customers. Are you comfortable with that? Even on the off chance everything is on the level and you two hit it off, would you be okay with her continuing this line of work?

 

I have considered this, but she has been doing this job a while and we all have our negatives, I feel like any relationship should be built on trust, and if I could trust this is definitely where her relations with other clients ends I would accept this as being part of her job. I know I wouldn't be able to make this judgement call though until I've spent some proper time with her and outside of a work environment.

 

 

 

The fact that she offered happy ending does mean she is an adult/sex worker of sort. It's like there was a guy writing on this forum once who kept going to a stripper and he was in love with her and thought she was into him. Because she was so sweet and flirtatious to him all the time. But when he actually asked her out she rejected him. Because these flirtations and sexyness is actually just part of her job as an adult worker. Whether you like it or not this masseuse is an adult worker. I'm sure she has other male clients and she does give them hand jobs because it's part of her service. It's not like you're special and you're the only guy she offered it to.

 

Don't get me wrong I know I'm not the only one that's offered this, which is why I thought it was important to mention that a hand job is offered at the end so people can determine the level of service she is offering to make a decision about the situation.

 

 

I think if she actually wanted to kiss you or sleep with you, she would offer it, even for money. Sending bikini pictures is just her way to make sure you're hooked and you'll keep coming back as a customer. It's not like she starts conversations with you, you always start them. If she actually liked you she would start too and show interest in you as a person. Not just chat about massaging and bikini shots. She might also be sending bikini shots because she's hoping you'll get so turned on that you'll start paying more for happy endings. I mean look you can ask her out to see the response but personally I doubt she's actually into you. It's just her job.

 

By the way one of my friends is a sex worker and she told me how she has to act like she's really into her clients and she likes them etc. if she wants to get business.

 

I'm not sure she would for money. This is definitely crossing more of a line in terms of work ethics/integrity I'd of thought and as with anything in life you set yourself clear boundaries in what you are willing and not willing to do.

 

With the messaging though, yes it had been me mainly messaging however when I'd injured by arm recently she actually asked a couple of times in between me seeing her how I was doing/recovering and then catch up about other things, with her messaging me first.

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OP, I once knew a man who worked in the sex trade.

 

He’d sweeten up his clients in much the same manner as this woman is doing now. Interspersed suggestive messages with “normal”-sounding ones, expressing care, interest, concern, and so on. He played the long game, so to speak, and did very well at it in terms of gaining their trust and keeping them coming back. (He was a stripper and escort, and yes, his clients were largely women) He knew exactly what to say and do to keep his client roster (and thus also his bank account) full. He once showed me a couple of chat threads he had going with two different clients. Each woman clearly believed that she was somehow special or unique and that he was actually into them; he told me that while he found each one attractive, he was not interested in anything more than their money and customer “loyalty.”

 

This particular woman? It’s not impossible that she likes you. Working in the see industry doesn’t mean she isn’t human and couldn’t be attracted to a client. But I would urge you to err on the side of caution and realize that at this point, you have more reason to believe she wants your money rather than a real date with you.

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OP, I once knew a man who worked in the sex trade.

 

He’d sweeten up his clients in much the same manner as this woman is doing now. Interspersed suggestive messages with “normal”-sounding ones, expressing care, interest, concern, and so on. He played the long game, so to speak, and did very well at it in terms of gaining their trust and keeping them coming back. (He was a stripper and escort, and yes, his clients were largely women) He knew exactly what to say and do to keep his client roster (and thus also his bank account) full. He once showed me a couple of chat threads he had going with two different clients. Each woman clearly believed that she was somehow special or unique and that he was actually into them; he told me that while he found each one attractive, he was not interested in anything more than their money and customer “loyalty.”

 

This particular woman? It’s not impossible that she likes you. Working in the see industry doesn’t mean she isn’t human and couldn’t be attracted to a client. But I would urge you to err on the side of caution and realize that at this point, you have more reason to believe she wants your money rather than a real date with you.

 

It does make good business sense to be like that, I get it, however as you say she is human which is what keeps me thinking. I definitely will exercise caution with any decision around it and try to continue to think with my brain upstairs even if anything does happen. I think for my own good I need to do something about it, just dont really know how to go about it or suggest what to do. I realise it can only end in potential interest or a rejection, either way atleast I'll then know where I stand and not keep on pondering what could be.

 

 

 

Bad idea to ask out a prostitute or worse, talk about 'happy ending'/exchange money, when it could be a vice sting operation. You need to change "therapists".

 

 

Without sounding too rude, but this is the 3rd time now you've had issue with the mention of a 'happy ending', I included it because I feel it's relevant (which I've already mentioned) and it has definitely helped people form an opinion. Otherwise it would be like going to the doctor with a problem but not telling the doctor relevant information about your lifestyle such as recreational drug use/alcohol use that could contribute to that. As far as the paranoia goes with it being an undercover operation I'm from the UK and as far as I know its not illegal for this kind of service/exchange of money to happen between consenting adults.

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It does make good business sense to be like that, I get it, however as you say she is human which is what keeps me thinking. I definitely will exercise caution with any decision around it and try to continue to think with my brain upstairs even if anything does happen. I think for my own good I need to do something about it, just dont really know how to go about it or suggest what to do. I realise it can only end in potential interest or a rejection, either way atleast I'll then know where I stand and not keep on pondering what could be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Without sounding too rude, but this is the 3rd time now you've had issue with the mention of a 'happy ending', I included it because I feel it's relevant (which I've already mentioned) and it has definitely helped people form an opinion. Otherwise it would be like going to the doctor with a problem but not telling the doctor relevant information about your lifestyle such as recreational drug use/alcohol use that could contribute to that. As far as the paranoia goes with it being an undercover operation I'm from the UK and as far as I know its not illegal for this kind of service/exchange of money to happen between consenting adults.

 

I think the reason why people formed an opinion on the "happy ending" is because it then becomes clear that this masseuse wants to make extra money doing these services. I have see attractive massage staff before but they didn't offer any extra or text in between sessions (not to me anyway). So yes they were good-looking but they just stuck to the normal g-rated massage and didn't try to get any tips from anything else. You actually have some proof that this woman just puts it on for all her clients

Because the first time she offered happy ending and was flirting with you, she did actually say she had a boyfriend. And she said she wouldn't do anything more than happy ending for clients because she wants to keep her personal life separate. So she basically told you that yeah, this is just business to her, and her real life is outside of that. You can ask her out but she probably has so many guys after her. If she's really hot I'm sure you're not the first guy who fell for her tricks.

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What man would want a girlfriend who is touching other men's penises on a regular basis?

 

Personally, I agree. But it's surprising what some guys are into or will tolerate.

 

It's probably safest to keep the interaction strictly professional. However, sex workers are people too and can develop feelings for someone. So if poster wants to take a shot, it's his call to go for it. Just make sure to consider all the factors and be okay with whatever the result is.

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Personally, I agree. But it's surprising what some guys are into or will tolerate.

 

It's probably safest to keep the interaction strictly professional. However, sex workers are people too and can develop feelings for someone. So if poster wants to take a shot, it's his call to go for it. Just make sure to consider all the factors and be okay with whatever the result is.

 

I don't agree in this case. Their interaction started as trading sexual acts and massages for money. The remote possibility of anything else is outweighed by the risk of him getting a disease or becoming attached and being scammed or harmed by the people she probably works for in the sex trade.

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I'm from the UK and as far as I know its not illegal for this kind of service/exchange of money to happen between consenting adults.

 

I'm not in the UK, but you might want to double-check that. Sexual services in exchange for money, regardless of whether it's between consenting adults, is still largely illegal in many areas of the world. I don't believe this woman is an undercover officer, to be clear, but you need to be careful you don't find yourself on the wrong side of the law in the event that authorities become aware of this woman's services.

 

Anyway, I don't think this woman is after you for the right reasons. Sending you bikini selfies and pictures of a treatment cream between her legs? That's not exactly the approach most women would take right out of the gate with a man they would like a little more respect from.

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