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why is this woman like this towards me?


shane1984

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This is happening at work -

 

I've seen her looking at me when i'm not looking but as soon as i go to look back she quickly turns her head away.

 

She pretty much blanks and ignores me, she will walk past and not even look and never says hi or morning... it always feels like I've done something wrong, but it seems like its done deliberately. It feels like she absolutely hates me! And I've never done anything to her!

 

we have had conversations but most of the time i have to initiate it, when i say hi and smile she smirks and looks to the ground like shes trying to hide it, and she struggles with eye contact in conversation with me but then it all goes back to how it was the next day like we have never ever spoken to each other before, its odd!

 

Sometimes we lock eyes and have long deep eye contact, but this is more than likely from a bit of distance

 

And she gives me even more attitude if she sees me talking to another woman.

 

What is going on? Its the ignoring bit that really gets to me, it really feels like she hates me

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She sounds very shy. Or, perhaps she's uncomfortable exploring anything in the workplace.

 

I doubt she hates you; you're reading too much into that. She couldn't she hate you when she barely knows you. And what do you mean she gives you attitude if she sees you talking to another woman? What does she say or do?

 

She just sounds a bit socially awkward and reserved. If it's this hard to make conversation with her, though, you're probably best to move along.

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She sounds very shy. Or, perhaps she's uncomfortable exploring anything in the workplace.

 

I doubt she hates you; you're reading too much into that. She couldn't she hate you when she barely knows you. And what do you mean she gives you attitude if she sees you talking to another woman? What does she say or do?

 

She just sounds a bit socially awkward and reserved. If it's this hard to make conversation with her, though, you're probably best to move along.

 

 

On Tuesday she randomly approached me and started saying how much she liked my new car, and then asked "will you let me sit in it?" i said maybe and she looked away and started smiling and looked excited.

 

 

Anyway Thursday i was chatting to another woman who is polish in view of the woman in question and i think she saw, i go back to my machine and literally 15 mins later polish woman walks past and we start another conversation, then guess who walks past! Shes walking to the toilet and see's us talking for the second time in quick succession, but instead of pretending that I don't exist like she normally does she walks a certain way so she walks directly face on to me and in my eye line and looks right at me.

 

 

 

My machine is by the toilets so i wait for her to come out at the end of my machine, i said hi and she replied with hi back turned her head away really fast with attitude, to try and keep her there i asked how her day was going she stopped walking turned around came back and she replied "fine! why do you always wear a baseball cap?" it was a really random out of place question but i said "i just do". I'm losing my hair and found myself wearing caps to deal with it as its a bit of an insecure thing for me. But i think shes cottoned on to this and used it against me cause she was jealous of this other woman.

 

 

 

But i changed the subject and said if she wanted to sit in my car, she could, she laughed and said "maybe one day" and walked off!

 

 

 

now shes back ignoring me.

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On Tuesday she randomly approached me and started saying how much she liked my new car, and then asked "will you let me sit in it?" i said maybe and she looked away and started smiling and looked excited.

 

But i changed the subject and said if she wanted to sit in my car, she could, she laughed and said "maybe one day" and walked off!

 

My dude. This is you cue to ask her out, not to literally sit in your car.

 

Ask if she wants to grab a coffee or drink with you.

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i felt like i did but her reaction laughing and saying "maybe one day" was bad... did i misinterpret what she meant?

 

You did not ask her on a date.

 

You asked her to "sit in your car." Those are not the same, even if you think your intent was clear. If you want a better idea of where her interest is, ask if you could take her for a drink or some such thing. The worst she can do is decline, in which case, you'll have your answer.

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She's shy/awkward and really likes you which exasperates her anxiety. That's why she acts weird because she doesn't know how to act...maybe has very little experience. Just ingore how she responds or acts and just be yourself...smile, wave, make conversation, keep your goal in focus....to ask her out!

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She likes you, probably, but she sees you chatting up every other woman there as well and that's making her second-guess the whole thing.

 

How many women there are you trying to score with?

 

i only like her, shes the only one... the others are just friendship.

 

Do you think i should tone it down with the others?

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It sounds like you have a crush on her. However it's not wise to date coworkers. You already know what she's like so why ask her out? Companies don't have personality tests so she is who she is and what you are seeing, it what you get.

 

i do, are you saying i should stay clear?

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She's shy/awkward and really likes you which exasperates her anxiety. That's why she acts weird because she doesn't know how to act...maybe has very little experience. Just ingore how she responds or acts and just be yourself...smile, wave, make conversation, keep your goal in focus....to ask her out!

 

This does make sense to be fair, shes always been really scatty and weird towards me and once i was walking to the toilets and when i walked around the corner and saw me, it looked like she freaked out and quickly looked to the floor.... does this sound like what you mean?

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So just a little update...

 

This woman ended up telling people in the factory that i was trying to get her in my car, when in fact she originally asked about it first! Apparently from what one guy said there's no chance (not sure whether or not that came from her mouth). Or is she trying to hind her feelings about me to everyone else?

 

I just don't understand why she keeps looking at me when i'm not looking and why she gets jealous when she see's me talking to other women? But i am feeling this slight anger and attitude from her, in hindsight when i think of the majority of our conversations its always been there from day one. Is it that she's staring at me cause she hates me? Ive had nice smiles off her too which is why this is so confusing.

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Full Stop!🛑 Once a female employee starts telling people you are "trying to get her to..." you need to treat her like any other coworker and stop any and all flirting staring, etc. Do Not Ask Her Out or hang out flirting after work. What she is telling people , true or false sounds like a sexual harassment complaint waiting to happen. Date OUTSIDE of work.

This woman ended up telling people in the factory that i was trying to get her in my car
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Full Stop!🛑 Once a female employee starts telling people you are "trying to get her to..." you need to treat her like any other coworker and stop any and all flirting staring, etc. Do Not Ask Her Out or hang out flirting after work. What she is telling people , true or false sounds like a sexual harassment complaint waiting to happen. Date OUTSIDE of work.

 

i just don't understand why shes doing it? when i first started working there, all she would do is stare at me but she would never talk, i tried to talk to her but she gave me quick short answers like she was pissed off with me... but she continued to stare at me, i found this weird so basically i stopped looking in her direction, i avoided going into her area. I basically avoided her like the plague and i kept this up for a good 6-7 months, then about march this year i got temporarily moved for a few days into the room near her section. She started walking in and out all the time looking right at me pretty much every time she came in, she basically couldn't keep her eyes off me. Then one day she introduced herself and said hello and every day after this we would greet each other but she did seem scatty and nervous when saying hello. But then i got moved back in to my section and she got furloughed off due to the corona virus but i kept working.

 

After about 5/6 weeks she came back and got put in my section, this is when she would start doing the 'look at me thing but as soon as i go to look she would turn her head away really fast' if i did have any interaction with her it would feel like she would avoid me after but continued with the 'look at me thing but as soon as i go to look she would turn her head away really fast' and she would give me attitude if she saw me talking to be other (young) girls, bearing in mind i'm 35 and she must be late 40s.

 

But she also done positive stuff like give me nice smiles or when i initiate conversation and smile she would smirk and look to the floor, and once she accidentally (it wasnt) put her hand where i was about to put my hand so my hand was put on top of hers and she didn't snatch it away she kept it there.

 

But again even after some really positive conversations with her which she initiated it still felt like she would avoid me and ignore me with no hellos or good mornings, it never made sense? Then randomly that's when she came up to me saying how nice my car is, and asked whether id let her sit in it, then she saw me talking to this other woman a few days later... and she got nasty but now shes back in her section.

 

I think my point is, if she didn't want me talking to her then why did she start almost chasing me again after those 6/7 months that i avoided her?

 

Im a good person and treat and talk to people with respect but feel like she's treating me like a monster.

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i just don't understand why shes doing it? when i first started working there, all she would do is stare at me but she would never talk, i tried to talk to her but she gave me quick short answers like she was pissed off with me... but she continued to stare at me, i found this weird so basically i stopped looking in her direction, i avoided going into her area. I basically avoided her like the plague and i kept this up for a good 6-7 months, then about march this year i got temporarily moved for a few days into the room near her section. She started walking in and out all the time looking right at me pretty much every time she came in, she basically couldn't keep her eyes off me. Then one day she introduced herself and said hello and every day after this we would greet each other but she did seem scatty and nervous when saying hello. But then i got moved back in to my section and she got furloughed off due to the corona virus but i kept working.

 

After about 5/6 weeks she came back and got put in my section, this is when she would start doing the 'look at me thing but as soon as i go to look she would turn her head away really fast' if i did have any interaction with her it would feel like she would avoid me after but continued with the 'look at me thing but as soon as i go to look she would turn her head away really fast' and she would give me attitude if she saw me talking to be other (young) girls, bearing in mind i'm 35 and she must be late 40s.

 

But she also done positive stuff like give me nice smiles or when i initiate conversation and smile she would smirk and look to the floor, and once she accidentally (it wasnt) put her hand where i was about to put my hand so my hand was put on top of hers and she didn't snatch it away she kept it there.

 

But again even after some really positive conversations with her which she initiated it still felt like she would avoid me and ignore me with no hellos or good mornings, it never made sense? Then randomly that's when she came up to me saying how nice my car is, and asked whether id let her sit in it, then she saw me talking to this other woman a few days later... and she got nasty but now shes back in her section.

 

I think my point is, if she didn't want me talking to her then why did she start almost chasing me again after those 6/7 months that i avoided her?

 

Im a good person and treat and talk to people with respect but feel like she's treating me like a monster.

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You seem to be having this intense "relationship" in your mind base on random looks, glances, words, etc. Keep in mind shes there to get a paycheck. The workplace is not a singles bar.

 

i know what your saying, i wondered whether it was all built up in my head too, so i told a friend at work about it and he would kind of watch her around me, he said it wasn't my imagination.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ignore her from now onwards. My first thought is one or both of you aren't single(are in relationships or married). Date single women only and try to avoid dating at work or within your work circle. It can backfire quickly. Her comment accusing you of trying to get into your car is seriously inappropriate and sounds like an accusation for sexual harassment.

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