Ì am just so hurt

My boyfriend of 4 years ended what I thought was a good and happy relationship by text and I am finding it so hard to understand why. He also wont reply to my texts when I am trying to tell him how much he has hurt me. I had no idea this was coming either so was totally shocked. I just cannot get over how someone who I have given all my love to for so long and all the good times we have had can just do this. I said he thought I would still go round to talk but he had already told me it was.over on the text so I didnt go as was too shocked. He did say he handled it badly but was so.cold about that and never really made me feel he was that sorry. He also said one of he reasons for ending it was that I smelled as I dont shower twice a day. I always showered before seeing him so how.could I have smelled that badly so now I'm feeling awful about that too and my self esteem and confidence is shot to pieces. I keep going over it and do not get it but if he did have an issue why didnt he talk to me about it. I just feel so hurt and need to forget and move on. He has done this.to.me.before too but not this badly and always comes back but I cannot allow that to happen again. Trouble is we mix in the same social group of friends and I'm scared I will lose that if I stay away too long but if i see him out I will cry. How do I get over this guy and what are your opinions on how he dumped me by text and saying I smelt and was being challenging when he hinted which isnt fair as I didnt even get the hints as i had no idea it was an issue as i cant have smelt it i showered everytime i saw him. It's all so hurtful and I cant get over why he would hurt me like that. I'm heartbroken 😪

Oh goodness!

Definitely don’t take him back! He sounds like a coward to break up over text! My ex broke up with me recently on Facebook messenger, so I know what you are going through.

It’s best to go no contact and block and delete him.

It will take time but the days will get easier.

I could be off base, but it sounds like he's out doing some test driving, while cleverly turning the tables on you in order to worm his way out of his shenanigans. Having said that, I wouldn't buy into his nonsense, but I would kick him to the curb.

Don't waste another minute on this Bozo...

I bet he's got another girlfriend. Not showering twice a day is BS, just a stupid, mean thing to say to hurt you even more than you are already hurt.

Block and delete him, do not try to contact him.

Feels like he is an butthole and he prays on your weakness-him. I would suggest you self focus for a while block him, erase memories with him and try to get yourself out of this funk. He wanted to be separate, maybe for a while to do what he wants and then he may even try to come back. If he does make sure you don’t let him! It’s a trick. What’s that old saying “if it walks like a duck talks like a duck, it’s a duck.” Work on yourself during this time. Find something that makes you feel beautiful. Get out of this low state of mind. Go shop, walk at the park, don’t talk about him. Move on! He definitely sounds like a waste of time. If you are intimate (not be be mean) maybe go to an OB get yourself checked to make sure everything ok. But don’t worry about him at all. Sounds like he likes to throw low blows!

Thank you, it's good to hear that people agree with how wrong he was it definitely helps. Thanks for the advice too xx

Thanks for your advice and yes I think you are right he wanted out and had to be sure to get it. What a !!!

Gently and with respect, if he's done this before, it shouldn't come as a total shock that he's done it again.

That doesn't make it hurt less, I realize, but you need to believe that past relevant behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour. I find it hard to reconcile multiple break-ups with having a "good and happy relationship" so I am curious how long you have been excusing or overlooking poor behaviour on his part. Sometimes it takes a real shake-up like this to make us realize we've been in denial, and need to open our eyes to the person that's really standing in front of us.

He also sounds like a mean-hearted jerk. Let him stay gone. Do not go back to him again. Work on healing, and on your self-esteem, so that you don't put with off-on BS like this ever again.

Sorry to hear that. On/ off relationships are a turbulent roller coaster ride through hell.

While you can't change clowns and jerks like this guy from roaming the earth, you can avoid them by reflecting on the need for drama. Also it's important to take the first exit off the relationship roadway when the caution signs are everywhere.

The breakup has nothing to do with showering and as far as breakups go, text is as good as any other method. Don't get hung up on that.

It's important not to over invest as you did and see yourself as a martyr and victim in a relationship. Not only is that wholly unattractive, it's bad for your mental health to willingly let some clown hijack your self respect.

You don't smell! He's lying, and just being a total jerk....by the sounds of it, it's been going on for awhile. You are not losing anything from this, you are gaining your freedom and self worth with this guy out of your life. There will be times you will run into him so just keep your head held high, be positive and strong. You can do this!