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I became the crazy ex. I don’t want to get back together but I do want to apolog


Html5lffy

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So we broke up about 3 weeks ago. NC really started about a week ago. I sent flowers to her house, pestered her for second chances and made a fool of myself. For around 2 weeks. Now she has blocked me on everything except for phone (partial. It goes to her laptop not her phone but she does see them.) she told me she doesn’t want to hear from me. She said I became obsessive and she actually feels like I’m going to follow her around. This was a wake up call for me. I slapped myself across the face and realized - this isn’t who I ing am. Anyways I want to text her an apology in a few weeks when things have cooled down. I have a rough outline that I want to send to her...and hopefully I’ll add or change as the weeks go by. But what are your thoughts? Do I even send this?

 

Maybe my feelings weren’t as strong for you as I thought - maybe I was obsessive with the IDEA of us - and lost control and freaked out. I know it’s crazy for me to flip flop like this. Yes, I had (and still do) have STRONG feelings for you. Love? Maybe, maybe not. Love isn’t disrespecting someone’s boundaries. Love is letting go and respecting someone’s feelings, etc.

- I’m ashamed, embarrassed

- I Understand if you never want to talk to me again

- Terrible excuse ; Morgan joshs gf told me to do the flower idea. I agreed after she convinced me. I spent days contemplating it and kept saying she probably won’t appreciate it. She ended up convincing me it would change everything and you would love it. I genuinely was in the mindset that you wanted me to PROVE to you that not only I changed but that I did in fact care for you - as if it were a test

- My mindset was so broken and I really did a lot that I simply regret.

- I understand if you never want to talk to me again or be friends - but I would love to have some friendship down the line.

- I’m sorry for putting you through all of this stress on top of your schooling. It was inappropriate.

- In any case, I am changing as a person to fix ALL of this - not with the hopes of getting back together - but with the hopes of having a future relationship with someone else & the hopes of Us not having to be blocked out of each others lives.

- you were right to break up with me. We both were unhappy. Looking back, it was easy to look at only the good times. But near the end we both would go silent on each other / ignore each other / get pissed. It wasn’t healthy. We were both unhappy. I never break up with anyone and was willing to stick this out. This is why when we initially broke up it didn’t hurt as bad. I think what truly hurt was realizing I lost you as a PERSON, not a girlfriend.

I want to reiterate I would love to have a friendship with you, as I think we would be fantastic friends. I understand if you absolutely want nothing to do with me. I understand I pushed you far past your comfort limits and didn’t take any of your feelings into mind. I became the ing crazy ex! But I am moving on, maybe friendship at this moment wouldn’t be the best for both of us but I do believe we could make it work, IF you are open to it. I know all of this sounds like bull to you. I can’t change your mind if that’s the case. These are genuine thoughts that I’ve been having and you can believe me or you can not. But do accept my apology. My mind is much clearer now. I should not have done any of what I did.

 

These are all GENUINE thoughts. I wanted to end the relationship for months. I truly did. She annoyed me, was needy, clingy, etc. the opposite of what I am. It was so weird though. When we broke up, I lost control and became a ing crazy ex!

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No, don't send all of that. It's way too much.

 

Keep it simple, say you're sorry, your respect her decisions and will leave it be now. Don't mentioned trying to be friends, don't mention trying to make it work. Simply say you're sorry, and be on your way.

 

The rest is rambling.

 

Hmm. I want to drive the point home that this is not who I am as a person. I’ve already said I’m done, etc. but instead of having her view me in the negative light I do want to express some of what I said above. Any way to do that? I agree it’s rambling.

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Hmm. I want to drive the point home that this is not who I am as a person. I’ve already said I’m done, etc. but instead of having her view me in the negative light I do want to express some of what I said above. Any way to do that? I agree it’s rambling.

 

Yes. Leave her alone and let her see through your respect for her boundary that you have changed.

 

Trying to "drive it home" is not going to have the effect you want.

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She told you to stop contacting her. So...you think contacting her is a good idea?

 

You're getting into "notify the authorities" territory. She doesn't want an "apology" (which is really another attempt to get her to notice you and communicate with you). She said no.

 

"Drive it home" is the absolute worst thing you can do. You've done enough of that.

 

And why is it all about what you want? What about what she wants?

 

Please pick up your dignity and self respect and leave her alone. There are literally millions of other women in the world. There's no point in trying to go after the ONE woman who doesn't want you when there are likely lots of women who would want to date you.

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Hmm. I want to drive the point home that this is not who I am as a person. I’ve already said I’m done, etc. but instead of having her view me in the negative light I do want to express some of what I said above. Any way to do that? I agree it’s rambling.

 

Just STOP!!! Way too many words, too much rambling. "I'm sorry" is a complete sentence. No more words needed. You have already p1ssed her off, dont make it worse. Really the best thing you could do for her is nothing. No apology. Move on.

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Please don't send it. After a few sentences she's going to be annoyed. Even if you don't want to push her into getting back together or friendship this is not the best way. The ball is in her court. If you knew you two were incompatible in a relationship... It's best to leave it be. Takes a while for the heart and emotions to catch up. Keep a journal when you're tempted to reach out and then throw it away. She will respect you for leaving her alone. If she reaches out and it seems right you can apologize but keep it brief and quick. She doesn't need long drawn out explaination. Also, no matter what you do, you cannot control or change someone's perception of you. Don't worry about what she thinks of you. We're all human and do things that embarrass ourself from time to time. Just let her have her space and freedom out of love and let her be.

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No, don't send it. Don't bother her. Respect her wishes and leave her alone. She blocked you for a reason. You come across as harassing her. Know when to exercise discretion which is now!

 

Even though my story is not the same as yours, I too begged and implored a person (former friend / cousin) to get back into her good graces to no avail. Know that whenever former friendships or relationships have gone awry, you can't recapture what was lost. Something inside the soul dies. Trust isn't there anymore and former naivete is no more. People become wary and jaded.

 

Many times, estrangement is the only way to gain peace and non-contact respect.

 

Let it go and let her go.

 

Live and learn and in the future for someone else, you will be very wise in how you act, behave and navigate yourself. Also, choose a compatible person. Become very picky and choosy.

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