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Thread: What to do when a girl blows you off?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2020

    What to do when a girl blows you off?

    So basically I've known this girl for about 7 years we've been on a few dates, but last night she asked me out of the blue to go to a over 18s mini golf course.
    I told her I'de let her know if I can come real soon as it was on a work night, 15 minutes later I responded with What time was you thinking of going,
    She said I don't know smiley smiley, Then I responded well I'm defiantly up for going.

    Then she had to call them and order it and pay for it on her card, as I lost mine and I said I'll give her the 10 pounds when she I see her.
    Then apparently the website wouldn't take her card details, and the phone wasn't answering. So I started getting ready any how with a glass of wine.
    I sat and waited for over a hour figuring she may be in the bath or getting her self ready. Still no answer. I suggested doing something else,
    prompted that maybe the phone person has left his post and that he's been summoned to go behind the bar smiley face, Still no response,
    I told my self I'll give her 10 more minutes to reply it had already been around 50 minutes she had been offline at this point. 10 minutes past still no reply from her,
    So I said I don't know if you've fell asleep, in the bath or what ever, but I'm getting unchanged and going to bed,
    and I did exactly that furious that I had wasted a hour getting my self looking suitable.

    Now I've got a reply from her 30 minutes ago and the first of it I can read is "Hey sorry I did fall asleep.." I really don't believe this what so ever she slept for 11 hours? And I wouldn't be able to get accidentally fall asleep unless I was wasted, Not really sure on how to answer the response or even if it's worth giving her one. Any advice on what to do next would be great

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Advice would be to block her.

    Iím sure the following responses will be the same.

    When you lost your bank card did you call the bank immediately? Have you checked your bank account to make sure no transactions been processed since you lost it?

    And just because she responded 11hrs later saying she fell asleep , doesnít mean she was asleep for 11hrs. It means she fell asleep at the time and explains why she didnít reply. The next day she said oops fell asleep.

    She is not interested in you but on a whim asked someone to do something because of boredom or whatever?
    But she ended up alleviating her boredom through sleeping.

    What exactly do you want from this chick whom you have known for 7 years but never dated??

    I think you might be a fall back guy for her ? When a date turns her down etc?

    Are you ok with this?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    You've known her a long time. But how well do you know her? Is she a kind person or has she jerked you around before?

    What she did is not right and if I didn't know her a long time or have any other frame of reference I'd probably block her and forget it.

    But sometimes we humans, we fall asleep. haha

    It really comes down to what do you want to do?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    central Florida
    Yeah, it was rude. If she was really that into you, when the card didn't work, she'd be coming up with other ideas for a night out instead of being so bored she fell asleep.

    I've known this girl for about 7 years we've been on a few dates, but last night she asked me out of the blue Sounds like you're really not into her either. Out of the blue means those other dates weren't recent, and you've just stayed in communication but never actively and regularly dated. When you're crazy about someone, you're not going to dilly dally and let a good opportunity slide.

    Time to put your time and emotional energy into someone you're actually excited about.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    What do you mean what do you do?

    We have no idea what your intentions are towards her. Do you want to try and form a relationship with her? Do you just want someone to hang out with once in a while? Do you want a quick hook up? You see it all depends.

    Hook up then blow it off since you really don't care what type of person she is because you just want sex.

    Hang out buddy then you need to figure out if she has done this before and if it is a pattern of jerking you around and if so just don't respond. When she contacts you again to hang out decline.

    Form a relationship would be just to ghost her. You aren't all that interested or you wouldn't have told her you need to figure out if you can make it or not, you would have been game right from the start work night or not.

    7 years and nothing has ever come of anything between you so it sounds like what was mentioned above. She was bored and you were an easy option with no down side. My guess is she texted a few guys and a better option responded in between your back and forth and she chose him and you got ignored and a lame excuse the next day.

    No need to get furious it was just an hour out of your life and you didn't cancel other plans for this girl so relax and chalk it up to a learning experience.

    She is not worth all the mental real estate you are giving her on this.


  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Ontario Canada
    Just ignore her, move on. She's not that interested in you or she'd have called you sooner.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Wilds of Texas
    I think you are way over reacting and blowing this out of proportion.

    You've known each other for 7 years. This was a kind of sort of last minute totally casual suggestion to do something that fell through. Going by what she said, it sounds like she was still on the fence while you got way over excited and pushed harder for it to happen, but then....you couldn't even manage to pitch in to organize it as you didn't have a card to use. She tried, it didn't work. Sounds like she gave up, maybe really did fall asleep. It happens. People can be tired you know. If you choose to take that as some kind malicious slight against you, that says more about you than her and it doesn't say anything good about you and your character.

    If you want to throw away a 7 year friendship over one oops, it's up to you. I think you need to chill out and if you want to date her, then plan something properly in advance.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Well maybe she was wasted. Maybe that's why she contacted you out of the blue...drinking alone will do that. Maybe that's why she had trouble putting in the payment details online, maybe she was dialing the wrong number, maybe that's why she didn't answer your messages...she passed out. Whatever the case may be I wouldn't waste anymore time, even if she was just a friend.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Does she have a history of this?

    Honestly, I wouldn't waste any more time with her.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Why didn't you call her instead of sending a bunch of messages?

    Anyway what I would do is not accept anymore invitations from her. She's flaky.

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